Burden of Guilt - part 6

**************************
Twenty minutes later Sully sat down next to Michaela with two plates in hand. They ate in mutual silence and then when Sully saw that Michaela’s plate was empty, he took it from her hands and set it on the ground. Putting his arm around her shoulder he drew her in closer to his body and gently pushed her head down onto his shoulder. He lightly kissed the top of her head and he ran his hand lightly up and down her arm.

Michaela took a deep breath and then slowly let it out. "I’m sorry Sully," she whispered as she raised her head slightly, "this was supposed to be a birthday celebration. I know it hasn’t been much of a celebration for you."

"Hey, don’t you worry about that none," he returned as he lightly clucked her chin. "You needed to get all of this out and I’m glad I was able to be here for ya. Besides, this trip was good for both of us, we both did some healing."

Michaela smiled up at him as she tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. "I’m glad you brought me here. It feels like such a heavy weight has been lifted after all of these years. I’m glad you finally know the truth."

Sully leaned down and lightly brushed her lips. "I’m glad too," Sully whispered as he continued with his light kisses. "And I’m glad I finally told you about my ma and my brother."

Michaela nodded her head slightly and then snuggling her head down onto Sully’s chest, she replied, "me too."

After several minutes of silence Sully looked down at his wife and seeing her eyes closed, he wondered if she had fallen asleep. But there was still this nagging question in the back of his mind. "Michaela," he spoke softly.

"Mmmm," she answered but her eyes remained closed.

Looking down onto her closed eyes, he gingerly asked, "How come you never told me about this before? It would have explained a lot, especially back when we was courtin’."

Suddenly he felt Michaela stiffen but just as quickly she began to relax. Opening her eyes she looked up into Sully’s face and answered in a timid voice. "Because I was ashamed and I was afraid that you might think as my Mother had, that I was this horrible person." Michaela lowered her eyes to the blanket and nervously biting her lower lip she asked in an anxious voice, "Sully, do you think I was terrible for feeling that way, for wanting him to touch me that night?"

"Of course not," Sully assured her. "Michaela, lots of young couples get carried away, it happens all the time, but that don't mean they’re bad people."

"But you never tried anything Sully. I knew I could trust you," Michaela’s voice was anxious.

"That's because I knew from early on how scared you were ‘bout kissing and touching. I would have never done anything that would have made you not trust me. I didn't wanna scare you off," he smiled teasingly.

"I only wish my Mother had felt as you do," she whispered solemnly.

"Michaela, listen to me," Sully pleaded earnestly as he gently lifted her chin to meet his gaze, "if you had told your Mother what you told me tonight, do you really think she would have blamed you. Perhaps David told her something different. I mean, if he wasn’t even able to face you, do you really think he would have told your Mother the truth?" Sully questioned. "Think about it, Michaela. If he really was trying to win you back, do you think he would have told your mother what really happened that night?"

"But David wouldn’t lie to my Mother, would he?" Michaela asked incredulously.

"Maybe if he saw it as the only way to win you back," Sully answered.

"I suppose," Michaela returned in a quiet voice, "I guess we’ll never really know." Yawning, Michaela laid her head back down onto Sully’s shoulder and slid her arm around his waist.

Sully looked down at Michaela’s closed eyes, and then he whispered, "Michaela, I need to get our bedrolls ready. The sweat lodge isn’t big enough for us to sleep in."

Michaela slowly opened her eyes and sitting up straight, she replied, "Alright, would you like me to help?"

"No, you just sit where you are. It will only take me a few minutes to tear it down and make up our beds. Don’t fall asleep on me, alright?" he teased as he saw her struggling to keep her eyes open. Sully glanced quickly at the inviting hot springs and then back at his wife and breathing a barely audible sigh, he stood up and walked over to the sweat lodge. "Oh well," he thought to himself, "maybe in the morning she’ll feel more up to it."

Five minutes later Sully walked over to Michaela and seeing her eyes closed he lightly tapped her on the shoulder. "Michaela, bed’s ready," Sully whispered.

Startled, Michaela’s head jerked up and her eyes flew open and still half asleep, she muttered, "Alright." Sully helped Michaela to stand and then gently guided her over to their bedrolls and before he could even tuck her under the blankets, her eyes were once again closed. Sully walked back over to the fire and added a few more logs and then returning to Michaela, he quickly slid under the blanket and drew her into his arms.

Michaela snuggled in closer to Sully’s chest and struggling to open her eyes, she looked up at him and casting a glance towards the hot springs, she mumbled, "I’m sorry Sully, I know this isn’t what you had planned for tonight."

"Sshhh," Sully whispered as he wiped away the single tear that rolled silently down her cheek, "you just get some sleep. There’ll be plenty of time for that later." Leaning down he gently kissed her forehead and looking down at her face, he noticed that she was already asleep. "I love you," he whispered as he drew her in closer and then closing his eyes he fell asleep.

It was almost dawn when Michaela awoke and feeling the chill in the air, she snuggled in closer to Sully. It wasn’t long though before she realized the reason she awoke, and throwing the blankets aside, she quickly scurried over to the tree line.

Michaela shivered slightly and wrapping her arms around herself, she hastened back to the blankets, quickly climbing in and scooting closer to Sully for his warmth. Instinctively Sully’s hand reached out for her and gently rested on her stomach, though his eyes never opened.

Michaela propped herself up on one elbow and watched her husband as he lay on his back asleep, the slow and steady movement of his chest beginning to stir her. She glanced towards the inviting warmth of the hot springs and then back to her husband’s sleeping face. She reached up tentatively and lightly stroked his chin and then she gingerly traced his lips with her finger. He stirred slightly and the corners of his mouth turned upward, but his eyes remained closed. Michaela smiled to herself as she continued to watch his face, and feeling a bit bolder, she slowly bent down and kissed his lips.

Sully slowly opened his eyes to see his wife’s beautiful smile. "Mmmm, morning," he said softly. She slowly raked her fingers across his chest and looking into his eyes she asked innocently, "Did I wake you?"

Sully’s reaction to her touch was instant and Michaela began to blush when she saw the rise in the blanket. Sully laughed slightly and then his eyes glistening he responded, "Yep, but isn’t that what you were trying to do?"

Flustered, Michaela began to stammer, "Uh, I didn’t mean… I wasn’t sure…"

Smiling broadly, Sully reached over and quieted her with a kiss. "You can wake me up like that every morning," Sully breathed softly as he brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen over her eyes. "But you better be prepared for the consequences," he smiled as he glanced down at the blanket.

Michaela’s blush deepened and looking shyly at Sully, she murmured, "And what might those consequences be?"

Playing along with her, Sully responded as his hand lightly cupped her breast. "Are you sure you wanna find out, Dr. Quinn?"

Michaela’s hands were doing their own exploring as she whispered close to his ear, "Definitely, Mr. Sully, you’ve piqued my curiosity." Michaela then placed her feet against Sully’s legs, causing Sully to quickly jerked back. "Your feet are freezing," he stated the obvious.

"I know," she smiled broadly. "I was hoping that you would warm them."

Sully glanced over her shoulder at the hot springs and then looking into Michaela’s warm eyes, he said provocatively, "I gotta better idea, unless of course you think it’s too early for a bath?"

Michaela raised her eyebrow and as her hand moved sensually down Sully’s leg, she answered, "It’s never to early for that."

Throwing off their blankets, Sully quickly jumped up and then reaching down he pulled Michaela to her feet. Pulling her into his embrace he lightly kissed her warm lips and whispered, "Come on then, the water’s calling us to come in."

As Michaela began to slip out of her camisole and pantaloons, Sully bent down and picked up a log. "I’ll just throw on a couple more logs so the fire will be nice and cozy when we get out. There’s still quite a chill in the air."

Michaela hurried towards the hot springs and as she slid into the warm water she glanced over her shoulder to see Sully gather a few essentials from her backpack. Her eyes twinkled as she watched him slowly stroll towards her, his long locks blowing in the light breeze. Stopping at the water’s edge, Sully placed the shampoo and a bar of soap on a ledge of rocks that jutted out into the water and then made his way over to Michaela. Sully smiled in delight as he saw the longing in his wife’s eyes as she roamed his naked body. By the time he had reached her he was already quite warm.

Sully lifted her into his arms and began to place feather-like kisses on her neck and shoulder. Suddenly he felt Michaela tense and when he looked at her he noticed that her brow was creased and she had a faraway look in her eyes. So attuned to her that he was, Sully immediately knew that her thoughts were on another time that he had held her in his arms in this same spot, right after she had lost their second child. "Hey," he whispered softly into her ear, "let’s not go there now."

Michaela jerked her head up and then shaking her head slightly as if to shake away the bad memories, she smiled at Sully and replied, "You’re right, let’s just concentrate on now," and then batting her eyelids, she whispered suggestively, "so, where were we?"

Setting Michaela down in the water, Sully turned her towards him and hungrily seized her full lips. Her arms came up around him as she eagerly returned his kisses. With their lips still locked, Sully slowly guided them over to the ledge of rocks where he had left the shampoo and soap. "We need to wet our hair," Sully told her as he gently pushed her shoulders down, and together they disappeared under the water and then quickly they bounced back up.

Grabbing the bottle of shampoo, Michaela poured a small amount into her hand and smiling at Sully she said, "Your turn first." Sully closed his eyes as Michaela gently massaged his scalp, working the shampoo into a rich lather. Every once in awhile Michaela’s hands would glide down his back and then up his sides, her feather-like touches causing him to shiver. When Michaela finished washing his hair, she leaned in and kissing his lips, she stated, "Okay, you can rinse now."

After dunking his head under the water to rinse off the shampoo, Sully turned Michaela around so that she was facing away from him. As Sully poured the shampoo into his hands, Michaela turned her head slightly and opened her mouth to speak, but Sully quickly interrupted her. "I know," he replied as if he knew what she was going to say, "try not to tangle it." And then kissing the top of her head he smiled at her and added, "I’ve done this before, remember?"

Michaela turned her head back around and relaxing in the warmth of the water, she let Sully wash her hair. After her hair was carefully washed and rinsed Sully then took the bar of soap in his hands and began to gently wash her back. As his hands began to slowly move to the front of her and lightly caress her breasts, Michaela leaned her head back against his chest and reveled in his touches.

Soon Michaela’s heart was beating rapidly and turning around to face him, she took the bar of soap and began to slowly and sensually wash her husband’s body. In this way they took turns washing each other, the friction of their slippery bodies adding a new dimension, until neither of them could stand it any longer.

With their arms still wrapped around each other, they slowly moved closer to the ledge of rocks. Sully leaned up against a large rock, Michaela’s body pressing tightly against his. He once again kissed her warm lips, his tongue rapidly seeking and meeting hers. Michaela entwined her fingers in his soft curls as their kisses became more ardent. Breaking apart breathless, Michaela arched her head back, her hair sprayed out across the water, as Sully trailed a path of hot kisses across her throat.

As his kisses moved lower, Sully gently lifted Michaela, her legs straddling his hips, and they positioned themselves to give and receive the physical pleasures that they had both so come to enjoy. Finally released of her burden Michaela gave of herself completely and wholly just as Sully had done only a few nights before.

Her energy spent, Michaela laid her head against Sully’s chest as her breathing began to slow. Stroking her hair, Sully breathed heavily into her ear, "It just gets better and better each time." Looking into his eyes Michaela whispered, a crooked smile on her lips, "I know what you mean."

Unwrapping her legs Sully lowered Michaela so that her feet were once again touching the bottom, and gazing into her eyes he spoke softly, "We should probably be getting out now. It’s not good for us to stay in here to long."

"Yes, you’re right, I know, but it just feels so nice in here. The hot water, being this close to you," Michaela stated timidly.

"Tell ya what," Sully responded with a kiss, "how ‘bout we get out and climb back under the covers and we can hold each other there. It’s still awfully early, maybe we can even get another hour of sleep. How does that sound?"

"Sounds wonderful," Michaela answered. "I suppose I am still a little tired, especially since you woke me up so early," Michaela teased.

Hand in hand, they waded back over to the water’s edge, and once they were out Sully picked up the one remaining clean towel and wrapped it around Michaela’s torso. "We can share," Michaela turned to Sully and held out one end of the towel. "That’s alright," Sully returned, "I don’t need one. I’ll just stand in front of the fire a few minutes to dry off. Besides," he said with a wink, "I’m still quite hot from that workout you gave me."

After drying off and brushing their hair, they both settled once again under the blankets, Michaela held securely in Sully’s arms. "I love you," Michaela yawned as she nestled her head on Sully’s chest. "I love you too," Sully returned with a kiss. "Let’s try to get some more sleep. We should be home before dark. I know how much you miss the kids." He looked down to see Michaela already asleep and kissing her temple, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep as well.

The birds were singing their morning songs when Michaela next opened her eyes. Looking up into the sky she realized that the sun had only been up an hour or so. She turned onto her side and felt a rush of warmth coarse over her body as she watched her husband sleeping soundly beside her, his bare chest slowly rising with each breath. She knew it was still early and that she should let him sleep, but her body was telling her otherwise.

Michaela snuggled up closer to Sully’s body, lightly resting her leg on top of his. She gingerly ran her fingers through his chest hair and across his broad shoulders and then leaning over she lightly kissed his nipples. His steady breathing told her that he was still asleep. "That will never do," she smiled to herself and then feeling somewhat wicked she slowly moved her hand lower beneath the blanket until she heard Sully gasp.

She looked up to see Sully smiling at her, a faint gleam in his eyes. "I thought I was dreaming," he said hoarsely.

"You said I could wake you like this anytime," Michaela spoke softly as she leaned in and kissed his warm lips, "and yes," she whispered seductively into his ear, "I am prepared for the consequences."

Sully looked into Michaela’s blazing eyes and laughing aloud, he replied, "You’re amazing, Mrs. Sully," and then rolling her on top of him, they once again gave in to their passions and slowly and tenderly they made love.

Holding Michaela affectionately in his arms, Sully brushed back a wisp of hair from her face. "We should probably get up and get started now," Sully stated softly as he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Alright," Michaela replied over the rumble of her stomach.

"We don’t have much left to eat so do you think we can get by with just some biscuits and some berries, and then maybe we can catch some trout on our way down and have a nice big lunch?" Sully asked as he gently rubbed her growling stomach.

"That will be fine, Sully," Michaela returned and then glancing towards the hot springs, she asked, "Do you think we have time for one last dip in the hot springs?"

"Sure," Sully answered as he threw off their blankets, "might as well get the most of it while we’re here." Standing up he reached out his arms to help Michaela stand and then swiftly lifting her into his arms he carried her to the hot springs.

After a dip in the hot springs and a quick breakfast, they were once again on their way. But this time Michaela was in a light-hearted mood and they chatted amiably as they walked side by side.

The closer they got to home, the quicker Michaela’s pace became, anxious to see her children. "I really miss the children," Michaela stated as she stepped over a fallen log, "and I feel guilty that I’ve barely thought of them this whole trip."

Grabbing her hand, Sully stopped Michaela in her tracks. "Hey," he turned her around so that she was facing him, "no more guilt, okay. You had other things on your mind, remember, that’s why we took this trip. The kids know that you love ‘em."

"You’re right, Sully, I know," she smiled up at him, "but I’m sure Katie is wondering what happened to her ma. I wasn’t exactly myself when I left her."

"Hey, I’m sure by now she’s forgotten all about that," Sully assured her, "she’ll just be happy to see ya again." Just then they came to a small stream and Sully placed his hand on Michaela’s shoulder. "Why don’t we stop here for lunch," Sully replied. Looking into the fresh, clean water, they could see the trout jumping into the air. "Looks like there’s plenty of trout to be had and we still have a potato left. How does that sound?"

"Mmmm, sounds delicious and I’m starving," she replied as she flashed Sully a smile. "I definitely think my appetite’s back."

"Good," was all Sully said as he patted her stomach. "How ‘bout I go catch us something to eat while you start a fire and throw on that potato. By the time I catch some fish and get ‘em cleaned, the potato will be done."

Soon the fire was blazing and the potato was on, along with a kettle of water for some tea. Michaela walked over to join Sully just as he was reeling in a fish. Baiting his hook again, Sully threw his line back into the water and looked up to see Michaela smiling. "What?" he asked as he looked into her sparkling eyes.

"I was just thinking about the time you took me fishing and I was explaining to you about how worms reproduce, how a worm has both male and female parts," Michaela explained.

"I remember," Sully returned her smile. "I also remember telling you that it wasn’t much fun that way and I remember you blushing," he looked up at her with twinkling eyes and tapping her nose, he added, "just like you are now."

"Sully," she spoke softly as she hooked her arm through his, "I’m glad we’re not like worms."

"Me too," he chuckled as he leaned over to kiss her lips. Just then there was a tug on his line and Michaela squealed, "You got another one Sully."

Soon they were sitting side by side eating a delicious meal of trout. "That was delicious, Sully," Michaela complimented him on his culinary skills. "I only wish I could learn to cook so well."

"Hey, your cooking has gotten much better," Sully returned as he laid his hand on her knee. "I'm not complaining any."

Michaela began to laugh and then laying her hand atop of his, she replied, "When it comes to food, you'll eat anything." After a few moments Michaela turned to Sully and said, "I'm going to clean up now, it's your turn to sit and rest."

"Michaela..." Sully started to protest.

"No, Sully," Michaela interrupted, "I want to. You've been taking care of me this entire trip, so let me pamper you a little."

After Michaela had washed the few dishes and put them away in their backpacks, Sully patted the log beside him. "Come here, rest a few minutes before we go," Sully spoke to her. Michaela came and sat back down beside him and then laying her head on his shoulder she said, "Sully, I want to thank you for bringing me here. I know I was against it at first, but I'm glad you were persistent."

Sully smiled down at her and kissing the top of her head he replied, "Well, after living with your stubbornness all these years I've learned that sometimes persistence does pay off."

"Stubbornness?" Michaela flashed him a crooked smile, "you can't possibly be talking about me."

"Yes, you," Sully snickered as he pulled her closer. "You're the most stubborn, opinionated woman I know," and then seeing her about to protest, he quickly kissed her lips. "And I wouldn't have you any other way. I love you Michaela."

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Michaela raised her head and looking into Sully's eyes, she spoke quietly. "Sully, I've been thinking about what you said to me about my mother." "Yes?" Sully encouraged. "I remember something that Sam said to me once, about how my mother may not show me that she loves me the way I want her to, but that she did love me." Sully squeezed her hand lightly.

"You were right, Sully," Michaela sighed, "I have to believe that my mother loved me, it's the only way I can live with what has happened. I know that we didn't always see things in the same light, in fact we rarely did, but I know deep down that she did love me, in her own way."

"And she did love you, Michaela, I know that for sure," Sully ran his fingers through her hair. "Your ma lost a child, and that can tear anyone up inside. Don't matter how young or how old that child is, the hurt's still the same."

"And with Father gone she didn't have anyone there to help her through it, like I did," Michaela stated softly as she quickly blinked back her tears. Lifting his hand to her cheek, Sully lightly brushed away her tears and then leaning down he tenderly kissed each of her eyelids.

"Sully?" Michaela began stammering, "You.. you don't hate my mother now, do you?"

"Of course not, Michaela," Sully assured her, "I know it wasn't your ma talking." His arm around her tightened. "Grief can make people do and say things they normally wouldn't, and besides, how could I ever hate her. She gave me you, didn't she."

"Thank you Sully," Michaela whispered softly. "For what?" Sully asked. Michaela reached up and pulling his head down, she kissed his lips. "For always knowing how to make me feel better." This time it was Sully who initiated the kiss and after finally pulling apart, Michaela looked into his eyes and said, "I'm ready to go home now."

It was almost dusk when Sully and Michaela strolled hand in hand over to Grace's Cafe. Sitting at a far table Matthew and Brian were trying to coax Katie to finish her peas. But like her mother, Katie was showing her stubborn streak and blatantly refused. "I not eat anymore, Mattchew," Katie pouted as she pushed away the spoon.

"Come on, Kates," Brian tried this time and he held the spoon to her mouth, "please, for me. You can have a piece of pie if you eat your peas."

"No!" Katie exclaimed loudly, "Papa says I only got to try one, now I want pie."

"Well, papa's not here," Matthew was becoming impatient, "so you..."

Just then Sully and Michaela walked up behind Matthew and seeing them, Katie's eyes grew wide and stretching her arms out to them she squealed, "Mama! Papa!" Matthew and Brian immediately turned around and seeing them Brian exclaimed, "Ma, Pa, you're home."

Sully reached down and swooped Katie out of her chair as Brian stood up and gave Michaela a hug. "We missed you ma," Brian said as Michaela returned his hug. "Are you okay now," he asked hopefully. "Yes, Brian," Michaela smiled reassuringly, "I'm doing much better now, thank you."

Matthew stood up and gave Michaela a peck on the cheek. "Hi, Dr. Mike. It's good to have you and Sully back." "It's good to be back," Michaela returned happily.

"Katie sure missed you," Brian told her sincerely. "She's been asking about you everyday and she's refused to eat her peas," he glanced annoyingly at his sister.

"Yes, we heard that little discussion the two of you were having with her," Michaela smiled at her two sons. "It seems your little sister has inherited a bit of her mother's stubbornness, or so Sully would say," Michaela smiled mischievously at Sully as both boys nodded their heads in mutual agreement. .

"Papa! I missed you. You been gone tooo... long," Katie hugged his neck tightly. "I missed you too sweet Kates. Were you a good girl for Miss Grace?" Sully kissed her tiny cheeks and ruffled her hair.

"Did you bring me present?" Katie asked innocently as she looked into her papa's big blue eyes. "Sorry, Katie, not this time," Sully told her gently. "We didn't go on that kind of trip."

"You always bring me present, papa," Katie didn't understand, papa always brought her a present when he went away on a trip.

Sully felt Michaela's touch on his back and turning around he handed Katie into Michaela's outstretched arms. "Katie! I missed you sweatheart," Michaela kissed her daughter's lips.

"I missed you more, mama," Katie answered with a big wet kiss.

"I missed you more, more, more..." Michaela squeezed her lightly and began to place tiny kisses all over Katie's little face. "I love you, sweetie," Michaela's tears came to the surface.

"You still sad," Katie asked in her tiny voice. "No sweetheart, I'm just happy to see you and your brothers," Michaela swallowed over the lump in her throat.

Suddenly changing the subject Katie looked at her mother and asked, "Did you bring me present, mama?" Sully started to open his mouth but Michaela quickly responded, "Your papa gave you your present before we went on our trip, remember?" Michaela lightly fingered the tiny strand of beads hanging around Katie's neck.

"Okay," Katie answered with childlike innocence and then flashing her big brown eyes at Sully she said, "I want pie."

Just then Grace appeared at their table with two steaming hot plates of food. "Thought you two might be hungry," Grace smiled at her two friends, placing the plates down on the table.

"Thanks, Grace," Sully smiled warmly, "you know I can't ever refuse your home cooked meals."

Michaela and Sully sat down at the table and with Katie in his lap he looked up at Grace and said, "And I think Katie would like a piece of your famous apple pie now," and bouncing Katie on his knee, he looked down at her and said, "what do you say to Miss Grace?"

Katie raised her big eyes up and looking at Grace she whispered, "pease."

"I hope Katie wasn't too much trouble." Michaela said hopefully.

"No trouble at all, Dr. Mike. She was a perfect angel," Grace replied as she patted her god-daughter's back.

"A perfect angel?" Sully questioned unbelievingly, his eyebrow raised slightly and a small smile on his lips.

Grace snickered and in reply said, "Well, as perfect as any little three year old." And then looking at Michaela and then back again at Sully, she waved her hand and said, "Now start eatin' before it gets cold," and away she went to fetch a piece of pie.

Four days later they were once again enjoying one of Grace's delicious home cooked meals, except this time they were sitting around the table at their homestead with a few of their closest friends. Grace and Robert E were there, along with Dorothy and Cloud Dancing.

It was Sully's birthday, and true to their promise, Michaela and the boys had planned a 'small' birthday celebration. Sully had started to object to even a small party but then he remembered what he had told Michaela about sharing her birthday with her, and so somewhat reluctantly he had agreed.

Matthew and Brian got him a new ax for chopping wood and Robert E made him a new harness for his horse. Sully had already consumed Grace’s present, a home-cooked meal. Dorothy and Cloud Dancing gave him a new pair of moccasins and Katie gave him a small box with three small colorful rocks inside.

"Pretty rocks, papa," Katie beamed, "just like Cwoud Dancin’." Sully looked at Michaela with questioning eyes.

"She remembered you telling her about the different stones that I had sewn on your wedding shirt, the one that Cloud Dancing now wears," Michaela answered with a smile. "When she went to the creek the other day with Brian she found those pretty rocks and brought them home for you."

Katie jumped down off of Cloud Dancing’s knee and ran over to Sully. Sully lifted her up into his arms and kissing her cheek, he said, "Thank you Katie. I’ll keep them with me all the time." Sully then opened up his medicine pouch and placed the three small rocks inside.

"They po-tect you, papa," Katie smiled as she touched his medicine pouch.

"You have a very wise daughter," Cloud Dancing spoke with affection as he glanced from Michaela to Sully. "You have taught her well." Michaela and Sully both beamed with pride as they shared a private look between themselves.

Katie looked up at Michaela whose hand was resting on Sully’s shoulder and asked, "Mama, where’s your present?"

"Yeah, ma, what did you get pa?" Brian asked curiously.

They all watched anxiously as Michaela pulled a package from underneath Sully’s chair. Handing the wrapped package to Sully, Michaela sat on the arm of the chair and looking into Sully’s eyes, she said, "Cloud Dancing helped me pick it out."

Sully glanced over to Cloud Dancing and nodded appreciatively and then squeezing Michaela’s hand, he began to tear open the package. Katie bounced impatiently on his knee, anxious for him to open his present. Not able to contain her excitement any longer, she began to tear at the wrappings.

"Katie," Brian scolded softly, "this is pa’s birthday, now yours. Let him do it."

"That’s alright, Brian," Sully gave him a wink, "your ma sure does know how to wrap a present, doesn’t she Katie. Did she think I was gonna try to peek?"

"If you peek, Santa Clause won’t bring you anything?" Katie answered innocently, causing everyone to laugh. She didn’t understand what was so funny. That’s what Brian had told her last Christmas when she had tried to unwrap a package under the tree.

As Sully and Katie pulled off the last bit of paper, Sully’s eyes lit up as he held up a colorful Indian blanket. "Thank you, Michaela," he replied softly as he looked into her warm eyes, "it’s beautiful."

Taking his hand in hers, Michaela gave him a light squeeze. "I noticed on our trip up Pikes Peak that your bedroll was getting pretty frayed," Michaela said cheerfully. Sully smiled up at her and lowering her eyes she added sheepishly, "and I thought you might like something new to keep you warm and this way you’d have something to remind you of me when you’re away."

"I’d like it better if you were there to share it with me," he replied seductively as he gazed into Michaela’s desired-filled eyes, causing her to blush with embarrassment. Suddenly remembering that they were not alone, Sully cleared his throat and then looking around at everyone he said, "Thank you all for the presents. This is the best birthday I’ve ever had."

Just then Grace stood up and waving her hand at everyone, she exclaimed, "Alright everyone, time for cake."

"Yeah," Katie squealed as she hopped down from Sully’s lap and running towards the kitchen, they heard her say, "I help papa blow out candles."

That night after Michaela had put a worn-out Katie to bed, she entered their bedroom to find Sully sitting in front of the unlit fire, the Indian blanket spread out before him. As the dim light of the lamps cast shadows across his bare chest, Michaela’s heart quickened. Sully stood up as she entered the room and reaching his hand out to her, he welcomed her into his arms. After kissing her lightly he helped her down onto the blanket and then sitting next to her he whispered hoarsely, "I thought you might like to help me break it in."

"Oh you thought, did you," she replied teasingly as she looped her arm around his waist. "But don’t you think the bed would be more comfortable," she smiled seductively at him.

"You’re right, it would be," he stated matter-of-factly, and with that he quickly stood up and pulled her up with him. Reaching down he grabbed the Indian blanket and then walking over to their bed, he pulled back the quilt and then spread out the blanket on top of the sheets. "What are you doing," Michaela asked in surprise.

"Now we got comfort and we can still break it in," Sully snickered as he reached for her hand and pulled her over to the bed.

"Wait," Michaela halted as she held up her hand, "let me get into my nightgown first."

"Forget it, you won’t be needing it tonight," Sully whispered provocatively, his hands moving slowly down her back. "But Sully.." Michaela began her protest, but it was more out of habit.

Sully climbed up onto the bed and patted the spot beside him. "Michaela," Sully’s voice was deep and husky and his eyes were pleading, "you can get it later. Right now this blanket really needs to be broken in."

Michaela climbed up onto the bed next to Sully, careful not to put her shoes on the bed. She smiled suggestively at Sully and then batting her eyes, she whispered, "you’re awfully anxious tonight. Any special reason?"

"Do I need a reason to want to make love to you," Sully whispered as he lightly nibbled on her ear. Slowly he moved to the end of the bed and began to remove her shoes. He then lightly ran his hands up her stocking clad legs, causing her to shiver.

Moving back up beside her, he placed his arm around her waist and drew her head down onto his shoulder. "Michaela," Sully spoke softly, "I wanna thank you for making this such a special birthday. It was a day I always dreaded before, but not anymore. Now I think I’m gonna look forward to this day, as long as I can spend them with you."

Raising her head slightly she gazed into Sully’s eyes, "Well, your birthday’s not over yet." And then batting her eyes she whispered, "the best is yet to come."

"You know Michaela, David was right about one thing," Sully smiled impishly as he tenderly brushed back a stray lock of hair.

"He was?" Michaela asked curiously, "what’s that?"

"When you bat your eyes like that it dries me crazy too." Sully leaned down and kissed each of her eyelids. "Those two years of courting and our engagement were the hardest years of my life. I wanted to take you in my arms so badly and it took every ounce of my strength to control myself."

"I know what you mean," Michaela answered softly. Her eyes burning with desire, she ran her hand lightly down his arm. "Do you remember our first kiss?"

"Sure I do," Sully lightly grazed her neck with his tongue, "it was your birthday."

"Yes, it was," Michaela’s voice quivered as his hands slowly began to undo her buttons. "Do you remember telling me later that even though you meant the kiss, you just weren’t ready." Goosebumps suddenly appeared on her skin as Sully’s tongue continued to arouse her senses.

Sully lifted his head momentarily and in a raspy voice he answered, "Yeah, I remember," he slowly slid her blouse off of her shoulders, "and then you told me you weren’t ready either."

Michaela tilted her head back as Sully’s tongue found the hollow of her throat. Michaela’s lips turned up in a smile and her heartbeat began to quicken. "I was relieved when you told me that," Michaela gasped lightly as Sully slowly lifted her camisole over her head, his hands lightly grazing her skin. "I had never felt like that before, never had such strong stirrings before," she continued breathlessly, "and I was terrified." Sully paused in his ministrations and looked up with questioning eyes.

Michaela smiled meekly at Sully and then in a soft voice she said, "I was terrified that now that we had kissed, you would expect even more from me," and glancing at Sully shyly she whispered, "more than just a kiss."

Sully met Michaela’s eyes and as his finger traced the outline of her chin, he looked deeply into her eyes and said, "I knew how scared you were, I would never of done anything improper."

"I know that Sully, but it was more than just that," Michaela stated as a slow blush slowly crept up her cheeks. "After what happened with David I think I was more terrified of my own actions, that maybe I wouldn’t be able to stop myself," and then quickly lowering her eyes she whispered somewhat shamefully, "or even worse, that I wouldn’t ‘want’ to stop myself."

Sully gently lifted Michaela’s chin so that she was gazing into his eyes. "Michaela, like I told ya before, you didn’t do anything wrong that night, and it was only natural for ya to have those kind of feelings, for David and also for me."

"I know that now, Sully," Michaela uttered softly, "but back then I was so unsure of myself."

Michaela’s neft hands quickly unbuttoned Sully’s buckskins and slowly she slid them down his legs, carelessly throwing them onto the floor. And then smiling seductively at him she continued, "But now after several years of marriage to you the one thing you have taught me is that my feelings are natural."

Sully gently seized her lips for a long and passionate kiss. Pulling back he grinned slightly and asked, "And what else have you learned?"

Michaela looked up at him with a puzzling look on her face, "What do you mean?"

Lightly brushing her cheek with his thumb Sully muttered softly, "That it’s alright to act on those feelings," and then gazing into her eyes, burning with passion, he whispered huskily, "and that I appreciate your enthusiasm." Michaela’s blush deepened even more.

"I’ll let you in on a secret," Sully’s eyes twinkled with mischief. "Before Abigail and I were married, I…. I touched her." Now it was Sully’s turn to blush, something he rarely did.

"You did?" Michaela asked in astonishment.

"It was about a week before we were married and we had gone on a buggy ride," Sully remembered vividly. "I remember it was a beautiful warm night with a full moon and we had stopped to talk under a large oak tree."

"To talk?" Michaela asked teasingly, a crooked smile on her face.

Sully tweaked her nose and then snickering he said, "Yes, just to talk," and then pausing a moment he added, "well… and maybe to kiss. But we got carried away and before I knew it Abigail was unbuttoning my shirt and then I felt my hands sliding up her blouse."

"So did she stop you then?" Michaela asked with earnest and then with an impish grin she added, "or did she ‘kick’ you?"

Sully returned her smile and then becoming serious he replied, "No, she didn’t kick me and if I hadn’t realized where it was leading to and stopped it, I don’t know how far we might have gone. But we loved each other and neither one of us felt ashamed by what had almost happened."

"You’ve never told me that before. I had no idea," Michaela stated, still shocked by Sully’s revelation.

"I never told you out of respect for Abigail. She’s gone now and I never saw any reason to tarnish her memory," Sully told her.

Michaela looked up at Sully with love in her eyes and replied softly, "I understand, and I guess I realize now that those feeling are nothing to be ashamed of."

Michaela looked timidly at Sully and biting her lip she said, "I suppose it compares to the time when we were alone at the new homestead, the day I discovered my wedding present." Sully's face broke into a huge grin as he remembered that day well.

"I've never told you this before," Michaela spoke in a soft whisper, "but that day, when you kissed me. I was just so... so overwhelmed." Michaela flashed Sully a crooked smile. "You had never kissed me that... that passionately before," she stammered "and I was feeling things that I'd never felt before, not even with David." Michaela blushed lightly and smiling, Sully gently touched his finger to her cheek.

Michaela locked her eyes with Sully's. "For one brief instant all of my reserve melted and I wanted to make love to you," her face turned a crimson red, "but in the very next instant that bubbling fear resurfaced and I found myself putting my fingers to your lips to stop you."

"I would have never let it gone any farther," Sully reassured her. "I knew how much that meant to you, and besides," Sully pulled her in closer and giving her a slight wink, he whispered into her ear, "I wanted to wait too."

Michaela raised a questioning eyebrow and noticed the twinkle in his eye. Sully smiled wickedly and slowly running his fingers down her spine, he whispered, "I wanted our honeymoon to be something special." She shivered at his touch as he reached behind her and unbuttoning her skirt and petticoat, they swiftly joined his clothes on the floor. .

Now it was Michaela’s turn to reach up and lightly kiss his lips as her fingers lazily caressed his chest. "Thank you, Sully. Thank you for sharing that with me." He gently cupped her face in his hands and kissed her full lips. "You’re welcome," he whispered in return.

Michaela returned the kiss with ardor and then pulling apart slightly, she said, "Remember what Sam said about climbing a mountain, how nothing makes you feel more alive, except maybe falling in love." She gazed deeply into Sully’s eyes, reaching deep into his soul and with tenderness she whispered, "She was right you know. Every day I fall in love with you all over again, and every day that love grows deeper and deeper."

Sully began to place tiny butterfly kisses across Michaela’s throat, slowing moving to the swell of her breasts. Her breath was hot on his neck as her fingers raked his back. Sully once again brought his lips to meet hers and their tongues engaged in a raging battle. Breathless, Sully broke off the kiss and then stilling Michaela’s roaming hands he looked into her eyes and becoming serious again he said, "Michaela, can I ask you something?"

Her breaths coming in gasps, Michaela tried to slow her breathing. "What is it, Sully?" she breathed heavily, her eyes glazed over with longing.

He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them and then eyeing her carefully he asked, "That night.. on top of the mountain, what happened up there?" Remembering how she had acted like an untamed animal that night, Michaela suddenly tensed and pulled her hand away from Sully’s grasp. Sully once again clasped her hand in his and brought it to his lips. With his other hand he gently turned her face to look into his eyes.

"No, I don’t mean that," Sully tried to reassure her as he lightly kissed each finger, "I meant afterwards, when you couldn’t seem to catch your breath. That scared me, Michaela."

Clearly embarrassed, Michaela began to blush. Lowering her eyes she spoke in a whisper. "It’s hard to explain really." Sully lightly squeezed her hand to encourage her to continue. "I was hurting so much, consumed by pain and guilt, that somehow I… I thought that if I could lose myself within you, that you could take away my hurt."

Michaela looked timidly at Sully but saw only love reflected in his eyes. "I know this isn’t making any sense," Michaela stammered, her eyes pleading for understanding, "but I wanted to somehow swallow you up, become a part of you, I wanted all of my pain to coarse through by body into yours, so you could take it all away." Lowering her eyes once again, she mumbled, "I know that sounds silly."

"No, no it doesn’t. I understand Michaela, I really do," Sully stated with conviction, his eyes locking with hers. "I wanted to take away your pain also. I would have given anything to not have you hurtin’ like that, but I knew there wasn’t anything I could do but be there for you." He leaned down and softly kissed her lips. "And I was happy to be there for you in that way. I wasn’t complaining about that at all." Sully licked his lips and in a snicker he added, "In fact, that was real exciting."

Sully ran his thumb over her full, moist lips and then suddenly he became serious again. "But afterwards, you were gasping for air, how come you couldn’t breathe?" his concern was evident in his eyes.

Wanting to allay his fears, Michaela tried to explain. "I suppose that I wanted it so badly, that I was trying so hard that I began to hyperventilate." Michaela looked up and saw Sully’s puzzled expression, "that’s when your body gets to much oxygen and your breathing becomes deep and rapid as if you’re trying to catch your breath." Michaela’s hand began to lazily caress his chest.

"Oh," Sully replied softly as he grazed his fingers down the valley of her breasts.

Michaela’s skin began to tingle as her fingers teased his nipples. "Once I sat up I was able to catch my breath and I was fine. I’m sorry if I frightened you," she murmured meekly.

Sully could feel his own body reacting to her touch and instinctively he pressed his body closer. Tracing the outline of her jaw with his finger, he once again looked into her eyes and said, "It’s just that it had never happened before is all," and then leaning down he hungrily seized her lips.

After breaking apart he looked into her eyes and holding her gaze he asked softly, his voice full of love, "Do you remember your promise to me, that you would tell me if there was something troubling you? You didn’t keep that promise," he gently reminded her.

Michaela quickly lowered her eyes in shame but Sully gently lifted her chin and locking her gaze he spoke with love. "Michaela, you gotta quit bottling everything up inside," he gently scolded. "It ain’t good for you. It ain’t good for either of us."

"I know, and I’m sorry," Michaela returned guiltily, her eyes suddenly watering up with unshed tears. "I don’t know why I find it so hard to talk about my feelings sometimes, especially to you."

"I suppose because the more ya love someone the harder it is," Sully responded softly, his lips lightly grazing hers. "Maybe ‘cause your afraid of hurting them, or afraid of getting hurt?" he raised an eyebrow quizically. "But you don’t ever have to be afraid to talk to me, Michaela, about anything," he emphasized strongly.

After kissing away her tears, Sully leaned down and lightly brushed her lips. Cupping her face in his hands he looked deeply into her eyes and whispered softly, "I love you." Wrapped in each other arms, they slowly slid down onto the bed as Sully gently cupped her breasts in his strong hands.

Michaela smiled lovingly at him as her hands moved to his backside, awakening his every senses. Sully let out a slight whimper. "So you liked that on top of the mountain?" Michaela teased naughtily as her hands lightly squeezed his buttocks. Sully shook his head eagerly and his eyes twinkled in anticipation.

Michaela looked into Sully’s eyes and smiling broadly, her voice soft and voluptuous, she asked, "So what would you like tonight?" Her eyes twinkled merrily. "Hot springs enthusiasm or top of the mountain enthusiasm?

Michaela gasped as Sully’s hands moved lower. He thought for a moment of that night not to long ago when they had made love in the hot springs. Every nerve was now on fire as her fingers barely grazed his skin. And then he thought of that night on top of the mountain and he smiled wickedly.

Meeting her gaze he lightly kissed her lips and then nibbling on her ear he whispered softly, "Definitely, top of the mountain enthusiasm."

Michaela smiled at Sully and then pulling his head down she seized his lips and kissed him passionately. With burning hunger in her eyes she pulled the covers up over their heads and in a low and deep voice she growled softly, like a lioness on the prowl.

Michaela heard Sully smirk and as they both disappeared under the blanket, she heard him reply in a muffled voice, "I think that's the perfect way to break in this blanket."

THE END
Comments to the author at: MartinXFILESDQMW@worldnet.att.net