For personal use and select distribution only © by Judy A. June 2002

Where We Belong
by Judy A.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Hold on Katie,” Sully said watching her slowly walk Flash in front of the homestead. “That’s it. Nice and easy.”

“Can I go faster?” she asked.

“Not yet. Just walk her around a bit. Get the feel of ‘er,” he returned. He was nervous about her riding, but he was doing his best to hide it from the children.

“Please, I wanna to go faster,” she persisted.

“All right, but just a little,” he relented. Sully showed Katie how to tell Flash to trot and he watched as she trotted the horse around the yard. She looked so proud and confident in the saddle, and he was proud of her.

“Papa help,” Josef called out in a distressed voice.

Sully snapped his head around and saw his son high up in a nearby tree. His heart nearly stopped as he remembered what happened to Brian when he was about the same age.

“Joe, stay there! I’m comin!” he shouted in a worried voice. “Don’t move!”

“Hurry,” Josef responded scared he was going to fall off the narrow branch.

Sully looked back at Katie on the horse. If he left her, she could fall, but if he didn’t get to Josef, he would fall. The branch wasn’t strong enough to hold him much longer. Quickly he grabbed hold of Flash and tied her to the fence and he lifted Katie from the horse. “You can ride more when I get your brother down,” Sully explained to his dejected daughter.

When Sully reached the tree his son was crying.

“Don’t worry. I’m comin,” he said as he started to climb the tree. “Katie, stay right there,” he firmly told her.

Katie watched her father climb the tree. She wasn’t sure how he was going to get Josef down, since the branch her brother was on wasn’t strong enough to hold them both.

Sully climbed higher and rested on the branch below Josef. “Joe,” he spoke calmly, though his heart was pounding. “We both can’t fit where you are so you’re gonna have ta let go and jump ta me,” he patiently explained as beads of perspiration broke out across his brow.

“I can’t,” he cried. “I’m scared!”

“Sure ya can. I’ll catch ya. I promise,” Sully affirmed in a comforting voice.

“I don’t know,” he said as he looked to his father then to the ground so far below.

“Josef,” Sully yelled to get his attention. “Don’t look down. Look at me. Look right in my eyes.”

Josef did as Sully said and felt safe. His father was there for him and he knew it.

“Now jump into my arms,” he said with his arms outstretched. “Do it Josef!”

Josef kept his eye on his father and jumped. Sully caught him, and wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Josef clung to his father with all his might.

“I told you I’d catch ya,” he said relieved. “Now let’s get down from here.”

Once on the ground he hugged his son again, frightened about what might have happened. Katie walked over to make sure Josef was all right and Sully brought her into their embrace. For the first time in a long time Sully held both of his children in his arms, and they held him. When they broke apart he looked at Josef. “How’d you get up there?” he asked as his fear turned to frustration.

“I climbed,” he innocently replied.

“But why?” Sully could finally breath normally.

“Katie was ridin’ and I had nothin’ ta do,” he told him.

“Joe, listen ta me. Don’t ever do that again. I’ll take ya places where you can climb, but I gotta be with ya and I gotta be sure you’re safe. Do ya understand?” he asked.

Josef nodded.

“Good, now let’s get back in the house. Your ma will be home soon.”

* * *

Michaela arrived home shortly after four o’clock and noticed Sully and Josef engaged in a game of checkers and Katie reading at the kitchen table.

“Sorry I’m late. I had to assist Jason with a procedure he was unfamiliar with. Did you all have a good day?” she asked entering the house.

“Mama,” Josef said running into her arms.

“Real good,” Sully responded smiling at his wife.

“Papa let me ride Flash,” Katie announced proudly.

“Really? Well, you must have had quite a day,” she said giving Sully a soft smile.

“Katie said you let her before so I thought it would be all right. I was real careful and wouldn’t let her go fast,” he said knowing she would worry.

“I wanted to go faster, but Papa said no,” Katie complained.

“She’s becoming quite a good rider. She took to it right away,” she told him as she hung up her coat.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” he responded. “As I recall, you took to it right away too, once you figured how to get on and off by yourself,” Sully sincerely jested, though regretting he had missed Katie’s first time riding.

Michaela giggled a little in response. “And you too, as I recall.”

“Papa saved me!” Josef announced.

Michaela knelt down to face her son. “Saved you from what?” she questioned perplexed as she glanced at Sully out of the corner of her eye.

“From fallin’,” he replied.

Sully walked over to them. “It seems when I was watchin’ Katie ridin’, Josef decided to climb the big oak tree and he couldn’t get down,” he explained as he watched the panic flash across Michaela’s face. He gently put his hand on her shoulder. “Don’t worry. He’s fine and we had a father-son chat about stayin’ safe and outta trees!”

“Good.” Michaela eased a few steps away. “I have to mend Katie’s dress for school tomorrow, but then I’ll start supper. Why don’t you play in here for a while longer,” she suggested.

* * *

“Can I talk ta ya?” Sully asked as he stood outside the kitchen watching Michaela put away the supper dishes. The children were asleep and he had been stewing all evening about not being told about Katie’s illness. It was time to clear the air.

“Of course,” she replied uncomfortably sensing his anxiety.

“Let’s sit,” he suggested as he motioned toward the table. When they were seated, he impatiently began, “Tell me about when Katie was sick.”

“They told you,” Michaela surmised and lowered her eyes to the table.

“Yeah they told me. Why wouldn’t they? But why didn’t you?”

Michaela registered his accusing tone. “I’m sorry, I should have told you right away,” she stated apologetically. She paused to take a deep breath. “It happened a few weeks after Christmas. That was such a difficult time for me. I was so afraid of losing her too…uh, I mean I suppose I didn’t want to relive it. And I knew how much it would upset you. But I would have told you eventually,” she insisted.

Sully noticed the “too” Michaela unconsciously added. He knew she thought she had lost him, and feared losing Katie as well. Surely he could understand why she didn’t want to relive it. But he had to know for his own peace of mind. “What happened?” he asked in a softer tone.

Michaela raised her head to look into his eyes. “She went sledding and fell in the creek. Then she contracted pneumonia, probably from not getting out of her wet clothes in time,” she patiently explained as she noticed the guilt in his eyes. “We almost lost her,” she whispered then looked down to her fidgeting fingers.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here, Michaela. He reached over to calm her hands. “Were you all right?” he asked with concern.

“Not really,” she answered honestly, her eyes watering. “I did everything I could for her.” Michaela swallowed hard to hold back her tears.

“I know you did,” he reassured.

Michaela continued, “I gave her willow bark tea and sat by her bed and held her hand. I felt so helpless and frightened. Children succumb to pneumonia very easily. Katie’s body had to fight off the infection, and thankfully it did. She was very tired and weak for several days after. I never would have gotten through it if it wasn’t for Brian and Be…uh, my friends.”

The slip wasn’t lost on Sully, but he chose to ignore it for now. “She’s fully recovered now?”

“Yes. I would never have permitted her to go sledding if she wasn’t.” She hesitated a few moments. “She asked for you,” Michaela told him meeting his eyes.

“What did you say?”

“I told her you loved her and would be with her if you could.”

“Thank you for telling her that. It’s the truth you know,” he spoke sincerely and gazed into her eyes.

“I know,” she replied as she held his gaze. Then growing uncomfortable, she looked away. “It’s late. I think I’ll turn in now.” Michaela pushed the chair out and stood. “Goodnight Sully.”

“G’night,” he responded as he watched his wife get up from the table. When she reached the steps behind him, she glanced back at Sully, then turned around and headed upstairs. As the gravity of his daughter’s illness slowly sank in, he could hardly bear the thought of Michaela enduring it alone. He should have been there holding her and supporting her. Katie should have known he was by her side telling her how much he loved her. He couldn’t have lived with the guilt if something had happened to his precious Kates. And what about Ben? While Sully was making progress with the kids, he and Michaela remained far apart. It was painful for him to hear first from Katie then from Michaela that Ben had been a great comfort to her. As much as he tried to push Ben out of his mind, his name came up with every important event concerning his family. What kind of relationship did he have with Michaela, he wondered. He worried there was more to her feelings of friendship, much more.

* * *

Sully rode up to Matthew’s homestead after supper a few nights later. Matthew was outside gathering wood and noticed him arrive. “Sully, everything all right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” he asked walking up the porch steps.

“I didn’t expect to see you that’s all,” Matthew responded with his arms loaded with wood.

“I wanted ta thank you for helpin’ out around the homestead when I was away. I owe ya,” Sully said.

Matthew placed the wood on the porch. “No you don’t.”

Sully went on. “Still, if ya need anythin’ done around here just ask.”

“I might take you up on that. It’s hard to keep up with work bein’ so busy,” he answered. “Brian’s a big help though.”

“How’s he doin’?” Sully asked saddened by the rift between them.

“He’s writin’ a lot. He’ll come around Sully. You just need to give him time,” Matthew advised.

“I hope so. I’ve never seen him so angry,” he admitted then hesitated, lowering his voice. “Can’t say I blame him.”

“It was hard on him seein’ everyone so upset,” Matthew revealed. “I wish you could have found another way to do what you needed to do.”

Sully inhaled deeply. “Me too, Matthew, me too. At the time I didn’t see any other way and now I’m payin’ for it.” He studied Matthew’s face for a moment. “Why are you bein’ so different from everyone else? Why aren’t you mad at me too?”

“I was real mad at ya, Sully. But now, well…I can see how upset you are with yourself. It don’t make sense for me to pile on top of it. Besides I done my share of foolish things,” Matthew explained.

“I appreciate it.”

“Sully, you helped me get through Ingrid’s death. You helped me see how stayin’ angry at everyone wasn’t gonna change things. I figure you could use someone on your side now, helpin’ ya make things right with the family,” Matthew told him sincerely.

Sully was moved. “Thanks Matthew.”

“Things any better?”

“A little,” he admitted. “It’s better with Josef. Katie needs more time, but she’s warmin’ back up ta me.” Sully hesitated a few long moments. “It ain’t any better with your ma.”

“She was hurt real bad, Sully. Real bad.”

“I know,” he replied as he was swept with a wave of guilt. Sully shifted uncomfortably. “Matthew…uh…did she come talk to ya? I mean as a lawyer?”

“Sully, you know I can’t discuss my clients,” he retorted sternly.

Fear gripped his heart. “So she did come see you,” he panicked.

“Who?”

“Your ma.”

“No, but if she did I couldn’t tell you about it. It’s confidential,” he explained. “What’s this about anyway?” Matthew took off his gloves and laid them on the wood.

“I was just wonderin’ if maybe she talked ta you about…about a d-divorce?” Sully could hardly say the word.

“You think she wants a divorce?” he asked stunned.

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s somethin’ Preston said,” he told him as he shuffled his feet.

“Preston? Sully, he’d say anything to get to you! You know that! Don’t listen to him.”

“It’s hard not ta sometimes. Especially when he’s runnin’ off at the mouth sayin’ stuff like this. And with Michaela not talkin’, well, he kinda makes sense, believe it or not,” Sully revealed fearfully.

“You just gotta give Dr. Mike some time. You were gone a long time and you’ve only been back a few weeks,” Matthew added.

“I keep tellin’ myself that,” he said, but he couldn’t deny that maybe there was more to it. “Sometimes I think it’s somethin’ else or…or someone else,” he blurted out.

“Someone else?” Matthew knew what was coming.

“Matthew, is anything goin’ on with Ben?”

Matthew wasn’t surprised. He knew the town was gossiping about them and at times he wasn’t sure if it might not be true. “I don’t think so Sully, but I don’t know. I know what people are sayin’, and they did spend a lot of time together before you came back, but I don’t think Dr. Mike would do anything wrong. She ain’t like that.”

Sully found no comfort in Matthew’s words. “Just ‘cause ya don’t act on feelin’s don’t mean they’re not there. If she’s got feelin’s for ‘im, there’s nowhere for us ta go. I just want her to be happy,” he said as he stared off in the distance.

Matthew thought for a long time before responding as he tried to find the right words to help him. “Look Sully, Ben was interested in the Indians and Dr. Mike cares about the Indians. Helping him made her feel like she was making a difference for them, and I think it reminded her of you. I really think anything she feels for Ben is really about what she feels for you,” he contended. “Like I told you in Boston a long time ago, you just gotta remind her of her feelings for you, show her why she belongs with you. You gotta make her see you’re willin’ to do whatever it takes to make her happy.”

“I’m tryin’ but she won’t talk ta me,” he shot back frustrated then he walked a few paces away. After several moments he asked Matthew a question that had been weighing on him for days. “What about the Sweetheart’s Dance? Did she go with ‘im?”

Matthew laughed. “Course not. Where’d ya get that idea?”

“Loren said she danced with ‘im all night.”

“That ain’t true,” Matthew said indignantly. “Brian decided he was gonna cheer her up and take her to the dance. He got Julie to look after the kids so she couldn’t refuse him.”

Sully was relieved. “She went with Brian.”

“Yeah, her and Ben danced a coupla dances and Dr. Mike seemed to be havin’ a good time, but nothin’ happened. After a time they became good friends, and Ben was there for her when she needed someone like Katie gettin’ sick, Joey’s birthday, and the holidays.”

Sully shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, I been reminded a that more than once.” But his curiosity got the better of him and he continued to question Matthew. “When did Jason and Ben get here?”

Matthew thought for a moment. “It was a few weeks after you left I think.”

Sully was stunned. “How did she find another doctor so fast?”

Matthew looked down and shifted from one foot to the other. He didn’t want to answer since he knew it would only make him feel worse.

“Matthew?” Sully pressed.

“It was supposed ta be a surprise,” he reluctantly replied.

“What was s’posed ta be a surprise?”

“The new doctor. Dr. Mike told me she advertised for another doctor several weeks before you left and had a few she was considering,” Matthew said. “She was gonna surprise you. Show you how she was gonna make more time for you and the kids.” Matthew hated to be the one to tell him this.

Sully leaned against the porch railing. He didn’t think it was possible to feel any more guilt about leaving and now this. “She did it for me?” he asked incredulously.

Matthew nodded. “Yeah, and the kids.”

Sully breathed a faint laugh of disbelief. “I’ve noticed all the changes she’s made and I figured it was because of my leavin’ or, because…,” he trailed off thinking, ‘Because of Ben.’ I never figured she’d have made ‘em if I’d stayed.”

“Looks like you were wrong,” Matthew replied sagely.

At that moment Brian stepped onto the porch curious who Matthew was talking to outside for so long. He tensed when he saw Sully.

“Brian, how are ya?” Sully asked pleased to see him despite the awkwardness between them.

“Okay, I guess,” he said detached.

“Katie and Josef miss you. Why don’t you come by the homestead and see them,” he suggested not wanting to press.

“Maybe. How are they?” Brian asked not looking at Sully.

“Good. I took ‘em sleddin’ the other day, and I helped Katie ride Flash,” he boasted to let him know things were better with the kids.

“That’s good. How’s Ma?” Brian queried knowing she couldn’t possibly have forgiven him.

He looked down. “Good. Actually, that’s why I’m here. I’m gonna make your ma a surprise birthday supper. I wanna do somethin’ special for her. I’d like for you both to be there.”

“We’ll be there Sully,” Matthew answered for both of them eyeing his brother for compliance.

“Good. Don’t tell anyone,” he told them as he stepped off the porch. “G’night.”

“Goodnight Sully,” Matthew said as he watched him ride off in the direction of the homestead.

* * *

The next morning Michaela opened her bedroom door and prepared to go wake the children. Looking down she noticed a red rose in a vase in front of her door. She bent down, picked it up, and she deeply inhaled its sweet scent. “Sully,” she whispered. A folded sheet of red paper was under the vase. She opened it, and read the words, “Michaela, I love you. Happy Valentine’s Day, Sully.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Oh, Sully, I forgot it was Valentine’s Day.” Bringing the rose into her room and placing it on the dresser, she felt a wave of despair wash over her. His gesture was thoughtful and loving, but it didn’t change anything. As much as she wanted to let him get close to her again, she was too afraid.

Hearing noises coming from downstairs she knew everyone must already be up. Michaela walked down the stairs and smiled at the sight of her children preparing breakfast with her husband.

“Mornin’,” he greeted.

“Good morning,” she returned as she stepped closer to him. “And, um, thank you,” she politely told him with a gentle smile on her lips.

Sully could see gratitude in her eyes, but he was disappointed there wasn’t more to her expression.

“Happy Valentine’s Day Mama,” Katie said excitedly. “We made you breakfast!”

“I see that. Thank you,” she answered as she gave Katie a warm hug, followed by Josef.

“Here Mama.” Josef handed her a drawing.

Michaela smiled brightly as she looked at it. Josef had drawn a red heart and he and Katie had written, “We love you Mama, Happy Valentine’s Day, Love Katie and Josef.” “It’s beautiful sweethearts,” she said as she hugged them again.

Sully silently observed his wife and children. He felt left out and envious of the closeness they had as a family. It wasn’t so long ago that he would have been part of their embrace, but now he felt like an intruder in his own family.

Sully cleared his throat. “Let’s eat before everythin’ gets cold and you’re late for school.” He longed to once again feel like he belonged.

Chapter Twenty-Three

“Grace, I could use your help with somethin’,” Sully said as he arrived at the café early in the morning.

She walked toward him, placing the coffee on the stove. “What can I do for ya?” she asked with a broad smile on her face.

“Today’s Michaela’s birthday and I wanna make her a surprise supper,” he said in a quiet voice as his eyes darted back and forth across the tables in the café.

“Oh! She’ll love that! Now how can I help?”

He hesitated. “I want it ta be special. I’m gonna make the cake, but I ain’t sure ‘bout the rest.”

“You’re gonna make the cake huh?” Grace giggled.

“Well, gonna try.”

“Ya want me to make somethin’ special for just the two a ya?” Grace asked with a sly wink.

“If ya don’t mind. It’ll be the whole family. Matthew and Brian are comin’ too,” he said grinning.

“Sure thing. But, why don’t I make the cake too?”

“I figured Katie might like ta help me with the cake. It can be somethin’ we do together for her ma,” Sully explained.

“Well, I better give you a recipe then. You two’ll need that much at least. It never fails.”

“Thanks, Grace. I really appreciate it.”

“Glad ta do it,” she replied placing her hand on his arm. “She’s gonna love it Sully.”

He looked away, unsure. “I hope so,” he sighed.

Grace looked around the near empty café to make sure no one could hear then stepped closer to him. The air was chilly and Grace rubbed her hands together for warmth. “Sully, people do things when they’re hurtin’ that don’t make sense to most folks. I understand that. Take my drinkin’. That nearly destroyed me and my family, but it didn’t. Robert E. and me are better than ever and we have two beautiful children now. You’ll see, things are gonna work out for you and Dr. Mike. You gotta have faith.”

Sully was touched. “Thank you, Grace. I hope you’re right.”

She smiled and patted his arm. “I know I am.”

“Sully!” Horace said running up to them. He paused to catch his breath and handed a telegram to Sully. “This just came for you. It’s from Washington, so I thought I better bring it right away.”

“Thank you, Horace,” he returned looking down to read the telegram. Soon a smile formed on his face. Horace and Grace watched with curiosity as Sully read the telegram. “They agreed,” he murmured under his breath as he folded the telegram and stuffed it in his buckskin jacket.

“Agreed to what?” she asked.

Almost forgetting they were there, he looked at Horace. “I need ya to promise me you won’t say anythin’ about this to anyone, especially Michaela.”

He raised his eyebrows at Sully.

Sully continued, “I’m gonna tell ‘er. I just want the time to be right so it might not be right away. Horace, don’t say nothin’ ‘til I tell you.”

“I won’t Sully. I took an oath, remember,” he replied turning to walk back to the telegraph office.

When Horace left, Grace gave Sully a worried look. “What was that about?”

“Nothin’. I’ll tell ya later.” Noticing Grace’s disapproving glare he added, “I promise.”

“Is Dr. Mike gonna be happy ‘bout it?” she asked with raised eyebrows.

“I think she’ll be real happy, but now’s not a good time.”

“I hope you know what you’re doin’,” Grace said worried.

“I do.” He smiled. “After I get through at Jake’s, I’m gonna pick up the kids and come by for the food. If you can think of a way ta keep Michaela in town a while longer, it’d be a big help.”

“I’ll try an’ think a somethin’, but it won’t be easy ta keep her,” she responded, giving him a wry smile.

Sully chuckled and shook his head. “Knowing Michaela,” he thought, “it’ll be easier than Grace thinks.”

* * *

“I don’t wanna go. I wanna wait for Mama,” Katie told her father when he arrived early to pick up the children from school.

Sully knelt in front of her, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Katie, listen. It’s your ma’s birthday. We’re gonna surprise her tonight and I could use your help.”

“Really?” Katie looked up at her father apprehensively. “My help?”

“Yeah, I was hopin’ you’d help me make the birthday cake and Joe, we can hang Happy Birthday signs and paper streamers around the house.” He paused to gauge their reaction. “What’d ya say? Will ya help me?”

“I will,” Josef agreed.

Katie hesitated, but warmed to the idea. “Okay,” she finally said, her eyes focused on her feet.

“Katie sure is stubborn,” he thought shaking his head. But considering her parents he supposed she didn’t have much of a chance. “Michaela warned me if we had a little girl she’d have her stubbornness,” he silently reflected.

“We don’t have a present,” she announced as she put on her coat.

“We gotta go to the store. See if ya find somethin’ for her there.” Sully helped Josef put on his coat and hat and taking Katie and Josef by the hand, they walked toward the mercantile.

Katie dropped her father’s hand and ran when she saw her brother and Ben walking toward them. “Brian!” she yelled.

“Hey, Katie!” Brian picked her up and twirled her in the air. “Joey, how ya doin’?” he asked placing Katie on the ground and tousling his younger brother’s hair.

“We miss you,” Josef said hugging his legs.

Brian knelt down and faced his siblings. “I miss you too, but I’ll see ya tonight,” he told them.

“You will?” she exclaimed. “You comin’ to Mama’s birthday?”

“Yep,” he answered briefly glancing at Sully.

Sully sighed heavily. “Brian, it’s s’posed ta be a surprise,” he said eyeing Ben.

“It’s just us Sully. And Ben won’t say anything,” he retorted.

“Are you comin’ Ben?” Katie asked with the innocence of a child.

Sully tensed and glared at Ben to await his answer.

“Uh…” Ben started before catching Sully’s glance. “No Katie, I don’t think so,” he responded quickly.

“Why not?” Josef asked.

“Well, uh, because I’ve got work to do,” he nervously supplied.

“Where’re you two goin?” Brian asked Katie breaking the tension.

“Mr. Bray’s. We’re gonna get a present for Mama then me and Papa are gonna make a cake.”

Brian chuckled. “I hope at least one of you knows what you’re doin,” he jokingly said to his little sister.

“I’m sure Katie knows more than I do, but we’ll figure it out,” Sully replied with a smile.

“Uh…Sully,” Ben interrupted, uncomfortably clearing his throat. “I’ll be teaching a college course next year on the Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians and, uh, I was wondering if you’d help me understand some things that happened with the Army? Brian tells me you know more than anyone around here about the Cheyenne.”

Sully was caught off guard. “I don’t know if I’ve got time,” he replied indifferently. “Maybe.” He stood firm and held his gaze.

“I hope you’ll consider it. Some good might come out of more people understanding their plight,” Ben urged.

Sully eyed Ben curiously, wondering what kind of trick he was trying to pull.

“You should really talk ta him, Sully. Ben’s work is gonna make a real difference for the Indians,” Brian said in awe.

Brian’s admiration for Ben bothered Sully so he changed the subject. “Do you wanna come with us and help with supper?”

Brian’s eyes never met his. “No, Ben and I are heading over to Grace’s to discuss an article I’m writing. I’ll ride out with Matthew later,” he informed him.

“All right, see ya then,” he responded disappointed. Sully took Katie and Josef’s hands and walked off toward the mercantile.

* * *

“Dr. Quinn, your husband came for the children today. I thought you knew,” Mrs. Slicker told Michaela when she arrived a little late at the school to pick up Katie and Josef.

“He did?” she asked surprised.

“Yes, a little while ago,” she said as she erased the blackboard.

“Oh. I’m sure Sully left me a message at the clinic. I must have missed it,” she said uncomfortably, putting on her hat, and turning to leave the school.

“Dr. Quinn,” Mrs. Slicker called again. Michaela turned around. “I wanted you to know how well Katie and Josef are performing in school since…since your husband has returned,” she told her.

She lowered her eyes to the floor. “I’m glad things have improved. Thank you for telling me. Good afternoon, Mrs. Slicker.”

“Goodbye Dr. Quinn.”

Michaela left the school and walked back toward town, unsure of what to do with the extra time. Not knowing whether Sully took the children on an outing or straight to the homestead, she decided to wait in town a while longer before returning home. She wanted to give them time alone together. She was thrilled Sully and the children were growing closer, but at the same time, she felt more alone herself. Today was her birthday and it seemed Sully forgot. It seemed everyone forgot. It had been such a disappointment when he didn’t say anything this morning, or stop by to take her to lunch. Although she virtually ignored his overture on Valentine’s Day and she hadn’t given Sully any indication she was ready to be with him, she hoped he’d remember. Perhaps he gave up trying? Michaela shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts.

“Ma,” Brian called from the café, noticing her walking toward town.

Michaela looked up and spotted Brian and Ben seated at the café. “Brian! Hello Ben,” she returned.

“Good afternoon Michaela,” Ben greeted.

She turned toward Brian. “What are you doing here?”

“Ben’s gonna help me with my article.”

“Won’t you join us Michaela,” Ben suggested with a huge smile on his face.

“I suppose.” She hesitated. “But just for a minute. Sully picked the children up from school and I have some free time on my hands that I’m not sure what to do with.”

“I’m glad,” Ben said as he rose to pull out the chair for her.

“Brian, it’s been far too long since you’ve been to supper, won’t you come tonight?”

Brian averted her eyes. “Uh…I can’t tonight, but I promise I’ll come soon.”

“I’m holding you to that,” she said disappointed. It seemed even Brian had forgotten her birthday. The three of them talked for a few minutes about Brian’s article, then he started to stand.

“Sorry Ma, but I’ve gotta go. I promised Matthew I’d help him with the chores,” Brian said standing to leave.

“I should be leaving too.” Michaela started to stand. “I have to start supper.”

“No Ma!” Brian quickly blurted out. “I mean, you know how Sully is. He’ll probably lose track of time and be a little late anyway. You have time,” he said glancing at Ben silently urging him to detain her a while longer. “Bye Ma.”

“Goodbye Brian,” Michaela replied.

“Can I get you some more coffee Ben?” Grace asked. Standing behind Michaela she gestured with her hands for him to keep her talking longer.

“Yes, I’d like some more coffee and bring a cup for Michaela,” he responded. “Let’s talk a little while longer.”

“I suppose I could stay a little longer,” she said sitting back down. “So…it’s a nice day isn’t it?” Michaela awkwardly spoke.

“Uh, yeah, it’s a real nice day.” They sat in silence a moment longer, both unsure what to talk about.

“How’s your research coming?” Michaela asked.

Grace returned and placed two fresh cups of coffee in front of them.

“I’ve written the first part of the course. I’d like you to read it and give me your honest opinion. I asked Sully if we could talk.” He paused and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “But I didn’t get the impression he was interested. Would you be willing to ask him for me?” Ben asked nervously tapping his finger on his coffee cup.

Michaela hesitated an even longer moment. “Well, um, I’m not sure now’s the best time for me to ask him.” She looked down and blankly stirred her coffee.

“I understand. Are things getting better?”

Michaela thought for a few moments, taking a sip of coffee before answering. “It’s much better with the children. Katie still resists a little, but I can tell she loves having her father home.”

“How about with the two of you?” he gently pressed.

Michaela took another sip of coffee. “We’re working things out,” she simply said. She knew this statement wasn’t true. She and Sully had barely spoken, unless it was about the children. The truth is they hadn’t come near working things out. They had barely begun. “I’d rather not discuss it right now if you don’t mind, Ben,” she added to avoid having to probe deeper into her true feelings.

Ben had run out of conversation to keep her at the café. Catching Grace’s eye he pleaded with her for help.

Grace obliged and walked over to their table. “I have a few minutes. Mind if I join you?” she asked.

“Not at all, please sit down,” Michaela encouraged. “I should say this is a pleasant change, to have you sit with me at your café and not serve me!” The two women shared a friendly grin.

“I need to be returning to the library,” Ben said rising to leave the table. “It was good to see you again.”

“Goodbye Ben,” Michaela replied.

“Dr. Mike, it’s been too long since the children played together after school. We should do it soon,” Grace stated taking the seat Ben vacated.

“Yes. I’m sure they’d love that,” she responded enthusiastically. “How are the children?”

“They’re fine. Yesterday Harriett…” For the next half hour Grace and Michaela entertained each other with stories of the latest antics of their children. Thanks to Grace, Michaela was successfully postponed.

* * *

The sun was going down as Michaela quickly rode to the homestead, aware she was late, and that Sully and the children would be expecting supper. How would she explain this? As she and Grace talked, enjoying the opportunity to catch up with each other, she completely lost track of time. Leading Flash into the barn, she was disappointed when no came outside to welcome her home as they usually did, especially since it was her birthday. Disheartened, she walked up the porch steps, turned the doorknob, and opened the door.

“Happy Birthday!” yelled the entire family.

Michaela gasped. She stood speechless in the doorway, her eyes wide in surprise.

Katie and Josef rushed over to her and hugged her. “Happy Birthday Mama!”

Michaela hugged her children, and as her eyes searched the room she noticed the “Happy Birthday” signs and paper streamers decorating the house. Inside the doorway she saw Matthew and Brian grinning from ear to ear. Off to the side by the kitchen, she spotted Sully. He stood there silently with his arms crossed and a soft smile on his face. Immediately she knew who the culprit was behind her surprise, and Michaela felt warmth in her heart that she hadn’t felt in months.

“Happy Birthday, Michaela.” Sully walked over and helped her remove her coat. “We’ve taken care of supper,” he whispered in her ear and led her to a seat at the table.

“Thank you,” she replied taking a seat. Her eyes watered as she admired the beautiful table. Sully had put out their fancy dishes, a white lace tablecloth, and adorning the center of the table was a beautiful vase of her favorite flowers. “I’m so glad everyone’s here,” she said as she glanced again at her husband. “I was certain everyone had forgotten.”

“Forget? Not a chance Dr. Mike,” Matthew replied as he sat down.

“We wouldn’t miss your birthday,” Brian said emphatically taking a seat next to Katie.

“So this is where you rushed off to,” she gently chided Brian.

Sully brought the supper out and started to serve everyone a delicious chicken meal complete with Grace’s special sauce, potatoes, vegetables, and fresh baked rolls.

“Let me help you,” Michaela said rising from her chair.

Sully gently placed his hand on her shoulder. “No. You relax, we’ve taken care of everything,” he said with a gleam in his eye. “The supper’s from Grace,” he whispered in her ear as he served her the chicken and vegetables. Before they ate, Sully led the family in the blessing.

“Me and Papa made the cake,” Katie announced before she took a bite of chicken.

“Kates, we wanted that to be a surprise,” he said pretending to be mad.

“Oops! Sorry,” Katie said as her hand covered her mouth.

Michaela chuckled at her unintentional slip and smiled. “I’m sure it’s delicious. So, did you and Papa have a good time today?” she asked tasting the chicken and nodding approvingly at her husband.

Katie nodded gaily. “I got to lick the frosting.”

“Me too,” echoed Josef.

Michaela and Sully laughed at their antics and shared a quick glance with each other.

“Ben did a good job delaying you,” Brian said as he brought his fork to his mouth. “I was afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep you at the café long enough.”

Suddenly Sully lost his appetite. He sat and picked at his food. “So she was with Ben this whole time?” he thought.

“Ben and Grace,” she amended noticing Sully’s unease. “Grace did her best to make sure I remained at the café. Once I realized the time, I was concerned you would all be angry with me for being so late. I had no idea! This was such a surprise,” she said, still feeling overwhelmed. Her heart swelled as she gazed across the table at her husband and thought, “This is the Sully I remember, the Sully I love.”

Sully looked up, caught her gaze, and lovingly smiled. Finally he could read a genuine joy in her eyes and he was pleased he was the one to put it there. Matthew noticed this connection between the two and quietly smiled in admiration. Katie and Josef noticed it too and couldn’t help giggling.

“Brian, what are you working on these days?” Sully asked not taking his eyes off his beautiful wife.

“A few articles,” he vaguely responded.

“Are you writin’ for the Boston Globe or for the Gazette?” he persisted taking a drink of water.

“Neither right now. Ben’s father works for The New York Times and he asked me to write an article. That’s what I was working on today.”

“Oh,” he said shifting uncomfortably in his chair. “I’m takin’ the kids to the Red Rocks after school tomorrow. Why don’t ya come with us?” he suggested hopefully.

“No, I gotta work,” Brian replied staring down at his plate.

Sully was disappointed but let it go. He didn’t want to press Brian, nor spoil the joy in the evening. “Matthew, how ‘bout you?”

“I’d really like to Sully, but I’m meeting a client tomorrow afternoon,” Matthew replied. “Another time though.”

“Sure,” Sully responded. After the family finished their meal Sully stood and began to gather the plates. “Why don’t all of you go into the living room and I’ll clear the table. We’ll have cake in a little while.”

“Let me help you,” Michaela volunteered feeling uneasy about being waited on.

“No. This is your day Michaela. Let us take care of everything for a change.” He pulled her chair out and gently ushered her into the living room.

As Sully cleared the table, helped by Katie and Josef, Matthew and Brian joined Michaela in the living room and sat by the fire.

“How are the two of you getting along living together?” Michaela asked her older sons when they were seated.

“It’s great Ma,” Brian replied.

“Yeah, I like havin’ him there,” Matthew concurred.

“I’m glad. We all miss you around here Brian, but I think it’s good you have each other.”

“I miss you too,” Brian acknowledged.

“Brian, I know you’re grown up and I don’t want to intrude on your life, but it would mean a lot to Katie and Josef if you would come by the homestead more often, not to mention Sully and myself,” she encouraged. “And Matthew, I know we see each other in town, but you hardly ever come to supper anymore.”

Brian lowered his eyes. “I didn’t mean to stay away from them…or you,” he told her.

“I’ve been real busy, Dr. Mike, but I’ll come by more, I promise,” Matthew replied.

“Brian, perhaps it’s time to give Sully a chance. The two of you were so close. I hate to see you so at odds with each other.”

“Yeah little brother. She’s right. Grudgin’ ain’t gonna fix nothin’.”

“Things seem better with the kids,” Brian observed looking towards his younger siblings as they cleared the table.

“They are. Sully’s been so patient and loving with them. Katie still holds back a bit, but it looks like a lot of progress was made today.” Michaela sighed thankfully.

“What about with you and Sully,” he challenged regretting his harsh tone.

Michaela bowed her head. “We’re trying to sort that out on our own. It’s difficult right now, but I don’t want you to let what’s going on between Sully and I color your relationship with him.”

“I just can’t forgive him for leavin’, Ma.”

“I’d like you to try. Please?”

“You were able to forgive Ethan when he left us,” Matthew pointed out.

“I guess.” Brian looked away and stared into the fire. “But, I expected more from Sully. I never thought he could do anything like this,” he said, his voice cracking.

“None of us did, but he had his reasons. Sometimes folks are gonna disappoint us. We gotta learn to accept them anyway,” Matthew told his brother.

Brian turned to face his brother. “Matthew, aren’t ya mad at Sully?” he asked incredulous.

“Sure, I was real mad at ‘im, but I don’t see much point in stayin’ mad. For some reason this is what Sully thought he needed to do, for himself. Believe me Sully’s more upset with himself right now than any of us could ever be,” Matthew revealed.

Michaela pondered Matthew’s words, her eyes slowly drifting toward the kitchen. “Brian, I’d like you to try to forgive him. Spend time with him and see how you feel,” she urged.

“I’ll think about it.”

“Is everyone ready for cake?” Sully asked as he entered the living room. By the sudden quiet in the room as he entered, he was aware he just interrupted a serious conversation.

“We’d love some, thank you,” Michaela replied with a soft smile.

Katie and Josef hurried over to sit next to Michaela as Sully brought out the cake. Together everyone sang “Happy Birthday.” Sully cut the cake and served a piece to each member of his family.

“Chocolate’s my favorite,” she said taking a bite of cake.

“I know,” Sully responded, pleased with himself.

“Mmm…,” she raised her eyebrows. “The cake’s delicious. I didn’t know you knew how to bake!” She was amazed, but she knew she shouldn’t be. Sully could always catch her off guard with his thoughtful gestures.

Sully chuckled. “It’s a recipe from Grace.”

“It’s real good Sully,” Matthew agreed lifting his fork to his mouth.

“Well, Katie did most of the work,” Sully modestly replied.

“Good job Katie,” Brian praised.

“Mama, we got you somethin’,” Josef announced with chocolate cake all over his face.

“We got you a present,” Katie said handing her mother a package.

Michaela was excited and carefully unwrapped the package. Inside was a beautiful silver frame. “It’s beautiful.”

“We’ll need ta get a new picture taken of the family ta put in it,” Sully suggested.

Michaela smiled at him in agreement.

“Matthew and I got you something too Ma,” Brian said handing her a present.

Michaela unwrapped the present and unveiled a clear crystal vase. Tears glistened in her eyes as she held the vase to the light admiring how it sparkled. “Thank you. It’s beautiful,” she said to Matthew and Brian. She turned to the rest of her family. “Thank you all for everything. For this wonderful supper, my presents, and most of all for everyone being here.” She glanced at Sully appreciatively, and they held each other’s gaze for a brief moment.

“Your welcome,” he tenderly replied then he noticed Katie and Josef struggling to stay awake. “I think it’s time I got these two to bed,” he chuckled.

“That’s a good idea!” She hugged the children goodnight. “Thank you for my birthday party. I love both of you so much.”

“Love you Mama,” Josef said hugging her tightly.

“I love you too,” Katie said kissing her cheek.

“Goodnight kids,” Matthew said patting their heads.

“Ma, we gotta be goin’ too,” Brian said standing.

Sully headed toward the stairs, Katie and Josef in his arms, each with their heads resting lazily on each shoulder. Michaela urged Brian with a look to say something to his father.

“Uh…Sully,” Brian began.

Sully stopped and turned around, startled.

“I was wondering…we could go huntin’ sometime soon if you want,” Brian tentatively suggested.

“Sure Brian, I’d like that,” he replied with a smile. Touched at this attempt to reach out, he proceeded carefully up the stairs.

Michaela silently thanked Brian then turned toward her husband as he ascended the staircase. “Sully.” He turned again at her voice. “Would you care to join me downstairs by the fire when you finish putting the children to bed?” As soon as the words left her mouth, her anxiety started to build.

“That’d be nice,” he softly replied.

“Goodnight Ma,” Matthew said kissing her cheek.

“Goodnight,” Brian said and hugged his mother.

“Thank you both for being here. It was a wonderful birthday,” she said as she hugged them both one more time and saw them out the door.

* * *

Sully had already put Josef to bed and told him a story by the time he entered Katie’s room. She was already in her nightgown sitting up in bed waiting for him.

“Thanks for helpin’ me with supper tonight,” Sully said as he sat on the edge of her bed.

Katie beamed. “Mama was real surprised, wasn’t she?”

“She sure was,” he agreed grinning. “The cake was good too,” he added. He tucked her into bed, smoothed her hair and gently kissed her forehead. “Kates, is this new?” he asked admiring her new quilt, wondering where it came from, and who it came from.

“Mama made it for me for Christmas. Isn’t it pretty?” she said pointing out her favorite squares.

Sully ran his fingers over the patchwork squares admiring the designs of nature and the Indians. “Yeah, it’s real pretty.”

“Papa, you missed Christmas,” she said in a small voice.

Sully drew in his breath shakily and stroked her hair. “I’m sorry Kates. I tried ta make it back in time, but I got caught in a blizzard. I had ta find shelter and I couldn’t get out ‘til the snow stopped. I thought about all of you and what you’d be doin’ on Christmas. I wanted to be here. Really,” he told her, absently tracing a quilt square with his finger.

Katie sat up a little. “I…I was scared you weren’t comin’ back,” she finally opened up, “And that we wouldn’t do things together anymore, and that Mama would always be real sad,” she revealed, eyes filled with tears.

Sully heart was breaking at the anguish he put his family through. Leaning over, he wrapped his arms around Katie, and brought her into a warm embrace. “I’m so sorry Katie. I thought about you and Josef and your ma every day. I love you all so much. I never meant to hurt you.”

Katie had her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. “Y-you were gone so long,” she choked out, sniffling.

Sully eyes watered. “I should have been home sooner. I’m never gonna be gone that long again,” he pledged, stroking her hair.

“Promise?” she murmured into his chest then pulled back to look him in the eyes.

Sully inhaled deeply. “Oh, Kates, my sweet girl, I promise. I love you so much.” He gently laid her head on the pillow and wiped away her tears with his finger. Pulling the covers up tightly around her, he leaned down to kiss her brow.

“I love you Papa,” she spoke wearily as her eyes started to close.

Sully sat a little longer gazing at his daughter, his heart full of love. When he was sure she was asleep, he carefully rose from the bed and silently tiptoed out of the room to join his wife downstairs.

“I started to think you weren’t coming back down,” Michaela nervously said as she noticed Sully descending the stairs. “You were upstairs so long.”

“It took a little longer to put Katie to bed,” he explained taking a seat on the rug in front of the fire. He looked to his wife seated in her wing-backed chair, a cup of tea in her hand, then into the fire. He didn’t know what else to say, and feared he’d say the wrong thing.

“You and Katie appear to have made quite a lot of progress today,” she said to start the conversation then paused to take a sip of tea.

“We did,” he proudly replied turning to face her, a smile on his lips. “But she only came home with me ‘cause it was for you. She wanted you to have a nice birthday.”

“All of you gave me a very nice birthday. And Katie enjoys being with you even if she doesn’t always show it,” she reassured.

Sully looked into her eyes, wondering if that was also true of Michaela. “We had a good talk tonight. I think we’re gonna be all right,” he said picking up one of the chessboard pieces and fiddling with it in his fingers.

For the next several minutes they sat silently, Sully toying with the chess piece and Michaela staring into the fire, both feeling far too uncomfortable to speak about anything except the children.

Michaela breathed deeply. “What did Josef want for his bedtime story?” she asked after a while.

“He wanted a story ‘bout buried treasure so I told him the one I told Brian when I stayed at the homestead that time you had to take care of the epidemic in Soda Springs,” Sully told her as he returned the chess piece to the board.

“Did he enjoy it?”

“I think so. Just like Brian, he wants me ta take ‘im ta find buried treasure,” he chuckled.

“Where will you go?”

“I’ll take ‘im explorin’ in the caves when the weather’s better,” he replied rising to add another log to the fire.

“I’m glad you’re getting along better. The two of you were so close.”

“Me too,” he replied. “I forgot how sensitive he is.”

“He’s a lot like his father,” she softly added.

Moved, but too uncomfortable to offer a response, Sully sat silently. He looked over to his wife whose beauty was enhanced by the firelight. This evening was a small step forward and he didn’t want to ruin it by doing or saying something wrong. After several minutes of silence he turned toward Michaela. “Why don’t you go up to bed? You have to be at the clinic early tomorrow. I don’t wanna keep you.”

She nodded. There were so many things she wanted to know and wanted to ask him, but felt far too uncertain. She agreed to turn in for the evening. Sully rose to his feet and accompanied her to the stairs. “I’ll lock up down here,” he said once they reached the bottom step. Then he reached out and gently touched her arm. “G’night Michaela. And, Happy Birthday,” he added, bringing his hand up to lightly caress her cheek.

She nervously looked down then lifted her head and locked her eyes with his. “Goodnight and thank you again,” she replied with a soft smile then headed upstairs.

Chapter Twenty-Four

“I think I spotted some rabbits over here,” Sully whispered to Brian pointing to a nearby bush.

“I’ll stay where I am,” he stubbornly replied, his bow ready at the first sign of a rabbit. Seeing something move, he aimed and let his arrow go. “I got one,” he hollered.

Sully walked over and looked down at the dead animal. “You sure did. Why don’t you come to supper tonight and we can all have rabbit?” he suggested hopefully.

Brian bent down to pick it up. “I can’t tonight, but why don’t you take it.”

Sully sighed. “No, it’s yours. You and Matthew can have it for supper.”

Sully and Brian walked in uncomfortable silence in the woods, several feet apart from each other. As glad as he was that Brian had suggested hunting, now that they were in the woods together they couldn’t think of anything to say to each other. Sully could tell how angry Brian was at him and he was at a loss to know how to fix things between them.

“Brian, are ya sure you wanna stay here?” Sully finally broke the silence. “What about your reporting and your girl, Anna?”

“I’m sure.”

“Don’t you miss her?” Sully asked determined to try to carry on a conversation with his son.

“Sure, I miss her, but I don’t belong in Boston,” he immediately answered without thinking. He hadn’t wanted to reveal any of his feelings to Sully.

Sully paused in his steps and touched Brian’s shoulder. “Don’t feel you have ta stay ‘cause a me.”

Brian shook off his hand. “This has nothing to do with you. Ya know, Sully, not everything does,” he snapped back, walking a few paces ahead of him.

Catching up to his son, he tugged on the back of his coat to stop him. “I’m sorry.”

Brian slowed down and turned toward Sully, sighing heavily. “I came home ‘cause a you, but my wanting to stay is about me. I don’t wanna live that kinda life. I belong here with my family, but…” he hesitated.

“But?”

“Nothin’, nevermind,” Brian stammered.

“No Brian. Please tell me what it is,” Sully implored.

Brian shuffled his feet. “I don’t wanna lose Anna either.”

“Maybe she could come for a visit,” he suggested realizing Brian’s dilemma. “Maybe she’ll find she likes it here too.”

“I asked her to come,” Brian admitted as they continued to walk side by side.

“Did you tell ‘er you were gonna stay here?”

“No. I just told her I was staying a while longer and asked her to come visit. I hope she does,” Brian quietly stated, his stomach churning at the thought of her saying no.

Sully tentatively stepped closer to him. “Brian, they say home is where the heart is. Well, it’s true. My heart was in Boston once too, but she decided to come back to Colorado Springs. You may not believe me right now, but no matter where I went, I always wanted ta get back here to you, Katie and Josef, and your ma. Once you’re with Anna again, both your hearts will tell you where you belong. If you wanna stay and she don’t then maybe what you have ain’t as strong as it should be. But you may also decide to leave once she gets here and that’s all right too,” he reassured, patting him on the back.

For a moment Brian could pretend it was like old times. He and Sully were talking as father and son, and the past five months hadn’t happened. Then flashes of his mother and younger siblings in pain brought him back to the present. “I guess,” he said indifferently. He was unwilling to believe Sully’s heart was really with his family. Brian slowed his steps and turned to face Sully. “Are you stayin’ around this time Sully?”

Sully returned his glare. “I ain’t leavin’,” he quietly replied.

Brian started walking again and after a few moments he got up the courage to ask him what he had wanted to know for months. “Why did you?”

Sully sighed. “I was confused and not thinkin’ clear. I know I disappointed you and let you down. I’m sorrier about that than you’ll ever know.”

“If you could go back, would you still leave?”

“I can’t go back, Brian. I wish I could,” he said then paused for a few moments. “I can tell you I’ll never leave like that again. I’ll figure some other way,” he avowed.

“How do you know?” he challenged, sounding ten years old instead of twenty. “What if you feel the same way again and can’t see another way?” he shot back, arms crossed at his chest.

Sully breathed deeply. “I know I’ll never cause your ma that kinda pain again. I’d die before I let that happen.”

“How do we know we can count on you?”

“You gotta see for yourself. I’m not gonna ask you ta trust my words, but I am gonna show ya that I’m here for you and our family. I’m not goin’ anywhere,” he pledged.

Brian could see the pain in Sully’s eyes. He could see the truth in his words now and he believed him. No more words were spoken as they continued home.

* * *

The next Saturday heavy snow blanketed the homestead and bitter cold temperatures kept everyone trapped inside the house. Sully was repairing a wobbly leg on the table and Michaela was baking cookies with the children. After he finished fixing the table, he walked into the kitchen and laughed as he saw his wife and children covered in flour. He watched Michaela laughing with the children, her hands covered in dough, and flour in her hair. He continued to be amazed by the change in her. With the free time she had from reducing her hours at the clinic, she was more rested and relaxed than he had seen her in years. And, her bond with the children was stronger than ever. Sully envied them. The scene before him was everything he ever wanted, but it seemed Michaela had found it without him.

“Can I help?” he said from just outside the kitchen.

Michaela looked at Sully with her hands covered in dough and chuckled. “Do so at your own risk.”

“I think I can handle it,” he returned with a wink. Sully walked to the basin to wash his hands then he turned to his children. “Katie, Joe, do ya wanna make the cookies into animals?” he asked reaching into the bowl and grabbing a fistful of dough and a rolling pin.

Josef walked over to him. “Can you do that Papa?”

“Sure, come here and I’ll show ya.” Sully rolled out the dough flat on the counter and took out his knife. “How ‘bout a wolf?”

“And then a deer Papa,” Katie said.

“And a bear,” Josef added giggling.

“Slow down, let me do the first one,” he said enjoying their excitement. Josef stood next to Sully as he carved out a wolf. Then he began to cut the dough into the other animals the children requested. When he finished he looked at Michaela. “Any requests?”

“Hmm…” Michaela looked at the ceiling pretending to give the question serious consideration. “Hmm…how about a hawk,” she replied as she stepped closer and handed him more dough.

Sully smiled at her. “I’ll make a pair of hawks. They mate for life ya know?” he spoke softly as his eyes met hers. He wanted to give her the gift he made, but he knew it wasn’t the right time.

As Michaela and Sully carefully placed the cookies on the baking sheet, his hand lightly brushed against hers. At the touch of their hands, he caught her eye and they momentarily held each other’s gaze. When the cookies were neatly lined in rows on the baking sheet, she shook her head in amazement. It never would have occurred to her to carve the cookies into all the figures Sully made. She lifted the baking sheet and placed it in the oven.

As the cookies were baking, Sully turned to Katie and Josef. “I know Christmas is past, but I made you presents when I was trapped in the cabin and I’ve been waitin’ for a good time to give ‘em to ya, and now’s as good as any.”

“A present!” Josef exclaimed.

“Yeah, is that all right?” Sully teased and tapped him on the nose.

“Let’s give Papa his present too, okay Joey?” Katie suggested.

“Okay!”

“A present for me?” Sully was surprised.

“Yeah! Where is it?” he asked looking at his mother.

“I’ll get it,” Michaela said and walked toward the cupboard where she had put away Sully’s Christmas presents. She reached for the gift the children made and saw her own gift for Sully off to the side. But she wasn’t ready to share hers yet. She led the children into the living room while Sully went upstairs to get his presents. When he returned, he handed a package to Katie then one to Josef. Katie opened a hand carved flute and immediately started playing, and Josef opened a carved elk with magnificent antlers to add to his collection of carved animals.

“Thank you Papa,” Katie said hugging him.

“Thank you,” Josef echoed as he climbed into his lap.

“They’re beautiful Sully. The details are exquisite.” Michaela said admiringly. She was glad to see he thought of the children, but still wondered if he made anything for her.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I had a lot of time on my hands,” he replied holding his children tightly against his chest.

Katie wiggled out of his arms and walked over to her mother to get Sully’s gift. She scurried back and knelt in front of him. “Papa, this is from me and Joey,” she said handing him the gift.

Sully looked at the package feeling a little overwhelmed. The day had been perfect and he wasn’t sure he could handle much more emotion. Slowly he unwrapped the package, his hands trembling slightly as he tore the brown paper. Tossing aside the paper, he unveiled a beautiful hand carved box with a picture he could tell Josef had drawn. He stared at the picture in awe. At the top were the words, “Papa Saves the Land,” and on the bottom it read, “Love, Katie and Josef.” In the middle was a drawing, although drawn by a child, clearly resembling the mountains, trees, and a stream, along with deer, elk, and rabbits. Sully knew a child’s view of the world was the simplest and truest, and he recognized the truth in the drawing.

“Open it Papa,” Katie said impatiently rocking back and forth on her knees.

Sully cleared the lump in his throat. “I will Kates. I just wanna look at it a little longer.” His fingers traced the top of the box. “This is real good Joe.”

“Thanks Papa, you really like it?” His face beamed from the joy of pleasing his father.

“I love it. Is this what you think I do?” Sully asked unable to stop gazing at the picture.

“It is what you do,” Katie said thinking her father could be silly sometimes. “Please open the box now Papa!”

Sully chuckled under his breath at how much Katie’s impatience reminded him of Michaela. From across the room Michaela quietly observed Sully and noticed how moved he was by the gift. She too was misty eyed at seeing her children’s love for their father and his for them. Holding his breath, he opened the box and gazed down upon its contents. Inside there was soil, several different kinds of leaves, a feather, a pine comb, a piece of the Red Rocks, animal drawings, and two stones. These articles were meant to represent what he was working to protect.

Katie smiled broadly. “Do you like it?”

Sully nodded speechless as he slowly let out his breath.

“You save the land for us,” Josef told him.

Sully starred at the contents a while longer. He thought about how he left home feeling unsure of his place in the world and worried his kids would someday be ashamed of him. All this time they could have shown him the way. He felt such remorse for how foolish he had been, but he also felt hope. He raised his head to look at them and smiled at their excited, proud faces. “Thanks, this is one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten. I love you both so much. I’m never gonna miss another Christmas ever again,” he said holding his arms open.

Katie stepped into his embrace and threw her arms around him. “I love you Papa!”

Josef pressed up against Sully’s chest. “Does that mean you won’t go away again?”

Sully hugged his children tightly. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. You know my job takes me away sometimes, but I’ll never be away this long again, I promise.”

Michaela noticed the hint of tears in Sully’s eyes and she heard his promise to the children. Now her hopes were rising. “The cookies should be ready. Who wants to help me?” she asked sensing his need for a distraction.

Sully looked at his wife, silently thanking her for allowing him a moment alone. As the children followed Michaela into the kitchen, he remained in the living room transfixed by the box. His children’s intelligence and creativity amazed him, and he marveled at how they could have created such a perfect gift. It also warmed his heart to know Michaela helped them. Only she could have placed the stones in the box. Only she would have known that they were meant to protect him.

The children returned and played with their new toys by the fire while Michaela cleaned the kitchen.

“Can I help ya?” Sully asked entering the kitchen.

“I’m almost done. We really did make a mess today,” she said laughing.

“Yeah, but we had fun,” he said as he approached her from behind.

“Yes, we did,” she agreed continuing to wash a plate.

Sully moved closer to her and gently laid his hand on the small of her back. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For my gift,” he whispered. “I know you helped.”

Michaela’s body tingled at his touch. “You’re welcome, but it was really Katie’s idea and Josef drew the picture. I just ordered a piece of glass to protect the top,” she hastily explained. “And Brian made the box.”

Sully stood behind her tenderly rubbing her back. He then ran his hand down her arm and took her hand out of the water, wiping the suds off the back of it. “I know you must have given them the stones. They’d never know what they meant.”

Michaela delicately withdrew her hand from his and moved a few paces away, nervous at being this close to him. “Uh, well you’re right, I gave them the stones, but they did everything else themselves,” she added as she dried the last of the dishes.

“We have amazin’ kids, don’t we?” he said disappointed she pulled away.

“Indeed we do,” she responded placing the last dish in the cupboard. “I’ve got some sewing to do,” she said and turned to leave the kitchen. She paused at the table and looked back at Sully who stood facing out the kitchen window. She knew they had amazing children. “And,” she thought, “Their children had an amazing father.”

* * *

Encouraged by the slight progress he and Michaela were making, Sully decided to meet her as she left the clinic to convince her to take a walk or join him for a piece of pie at Grace’s. He arrived a little after two o’clock and was disappointed to find she had already left. Jason couldn’t tell him if she had headed straight home or not. Since Sully was picking the kids up from school in about an hour, he decided to stay in town. He stopped by the Gazette to pick up the latest issue and walked to the café to wait at Grace’s.

“Afternoon, Sully. What can I get ya?” Grace greeted with her usual bright smile.

“Just coffee, Grace,” he replied as he sat down at a table in the back. Grace returned with the coffee and placed it in front of Sully. “Thank you,” he replied, his eyes focused on the Gazette.

“Well?” she stated with her hands on her hips.

Sully looked up at her puzzled.

“Are ya gonna tell me how the birthday supper was?”

Sully smiled. “It was good. The supper was delicious. Thank you, Grace.”

“And the cake?”

“It was real good too,” he said grinning.

“Really?” she asked doubtfully.

“Ya didn’t think I could do it, did ya?” Sully playfully challenged.

Grace giggled. “I wouldn’t say that. You were always pretty determined when it came ta Dr. Mike,” she teased. “I told ya things would get back to normal for you soon,” she stated confidently.

Sully’s playful demeanor turned downcast. “I’m afraid we still have a ways to go yet.”

“You’ll get there,” she said patting his shoulder.

“Have you seen Michaela since she left the clinic?”

“You just missed her. She headed out of town a little while ago,” she informed him.

“Maybe she went home,” he said aloud to himself.

“No, she headed out that way,” Grace said pointing in the opposite direction from the homestead. “Maybe she had a patient to see out of town,” she offered as an explanation turning to see the café filling up. “Well, work never stops. Have a good afternoon Sully.”

“Where could she have gone?” he thought as he looked in the direction Grace had pointed, not seeing her leave the table. “It wasn’t like Michaela to just up and leave without telling anyone where she’d be if she were needed. The only places out the way Grace identified were the woods and the old Palmer Creek reservation. Nothing else except…” Sully’s eyes narrowed as a disturbing thought occurred to him. “Didn’t the Morrisons live out that way?” If something were going on between she and Ben then the timing would be perfect. Michaela knew Sully would be with the kids and Jason would be at the clinic. They could be alone with no one suspecting anything.

Sully waited around the café scanning the edges of town to see if Michaela would eventually emerge. At three o’clock he picked up the children as planned and returned to the homestead. Several hours later Michaela walked through the door.

“Where have you been?” Sully challenged, not even giving her a chance to greet them as she entered.

Michaela was flustered by his immediate question. She registered his accusing tone and was angered. “I went out to…to the Granger place to take out Tommy’s stitches,” she stammered. Her face was flushed and her eyes were nervously fixed on the floor.

“They couldn’t bring Tommy to the clinic?” he asked with his arms crossed at his chest.

“No, they asked me to come out and I had time,” she said clumsily dropping her coat and hat on the floor. She picked them up and turned away from him, trying to breath easy to control her nervousness. “Why? Did you need me for something?”

“I headed into town early hoping we could go for a walk before I got the children from school. You apparently had just left when I stopped by the clinic,” he replied.

“Oh. Well, I’m sorry I missed you. But, uh, I should start supper now,” she said quickly and walked to the kitchen.

Michaela prepared supper and the children did their homework at the kitchen table. Sully sat by the fire lost in thought. He could tell she lied to him when she came home. Michaela didn’t have a habit of stuttering with her words and fumbling unless she was nervous or not speaking the truth. There was no reason for her to be uneasy unless she had been somewhere or with someone she shouldn’t have. She had to be lying, but he didn’t know why. “I’m gettin’ mixed signals,” he thought. “It ain’t my imagination we’re growin’ closer, but at the same time, she’s disappearin’ and lyin’.” As hard as Michaela was trying to keep the wall up between them, Sully was trying even harder to break it down, and he thought he was succeeding. But this evening he wasn’t sure what to think. Too many signs were telling him something more was wrong, but just as many signs indicated there was still hope for them. Either way he had to find out why she lied, and what she could be hiding. “There’s only one thing ta do,” he thought, “follow her and see for myself.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

For the next few days, Sully arrived in town by one o’clock and remained out of sight as he observed Michaela leaving the clinic. One day he followed her to visit a patient, and the next day she visited with Dorothy and went home. He felt terrible to be spying on his wife and he even started to think his suspicions were all in his head. “After all, she doesn’t pull away near as much and I can see her watchin’ me when she don’t think I know. This wouldn’t be happenin’ if she had feelin’s for someone else,” he thought. Then he remembered David and his stomach tightened. “Unless,” he thought, “she’s tryin’ ta decide between us.” He decided to follow her for a few more days because he just had to know the truth. He had to see it. If nothing revealed itself soon then he would stop.

The next day Sully followed Michaela to the old Cheyenne reservation. He tied his horse a good distance away, quietly stepped closer and hid behind a bush to watch her. Michaela was sitting by a tree in the spot where Cloud Dancing’s lodge used to be. He intently watched as she just sat there, appearing to be waiting for someone. “Didn’t Dorothy tell me she used to come here with Ben?” he thought. “Maybe this ain’t all in my head.”

For about a half hour he surreptitiously observed her leaning against the trunk of an old oak tree, deep in thought. At times she stood and walked around the old reservation, only to return again to sit against the tree. Occasionally she would lightly brush her hand over the ground or grab a fistful of dirt with her gloved hand and watch as it slowly fell through her fingers. No one ever showed up to join her and Sully was surprised she didn’t seem upset. Knowing her impatience, he expected her to be agitated to be left waiting, but instead she seemed calm and relaxed, even a little sad. In less than an hour Michaela mounted Flash and left.

Sully remained at the site a little longer to see if he could make sense out of what he saw. Walking around the old reservation, a place he hadn’t visited in years, brought back strong memories. In his mind he could see Cloud Dancing and Snowbird standing outside their tepee and Black Kettle with his American Flag. Shaking the images of his Cheyenne family from his mind, he returned to the present, and tried to understand what Michaela was doing out here. “She’s hidin’ somethin’,” he said. “I just don’t know what it is.”

* * *

The next day, Michaela left the clinic at two o’clock as usual and headed home. It was a rare treat for her to have the homestead all to herself and she planned to enjoy it. The children were with Sully visiting Robert E. and Grace and their children. This left her with at least two hours of complete solitude. Vowing not to do chores, she decided to take a bath.

After heating the water and filling the tub, she grabbed the fancy soap she loved. Then she climbed into the steaming hot bath. Laying her head back, she hung her hair over the end of the tub and closed her eyes to relax. Leisurely she rubbed the bar of soap over her body. It felt so nice to have this time to herself. Feeling completely relaxed, her thoughts drifted to Sully and all that had happened since he came home. He was loving, sensitive to her needs, and completely sincere in his intentions, and Michaela longed to let him get close to her again. She longed to regain what they once had. Though the pain of the past few months was still fresh in her mind, she promised she’d try harder with Sully. As the water got cold, she climbed out of the tub and wrapped herself in a towel.

On her way to her room to dress, Michaela passed Brian’s room. Out of curiosity, she felt compelled to go in. She pushed the door open and looked inside. The room was neat and orderly – just what she’d expect from Sully. She lightly walked around, looking about the room, not at anything in particular, just taking in the surroundings of where her husband had spent his past few months home. She wandered to the nightstand where she saw some of Sully’s belongings laid out – a knife, beads, a small family portrait. Michaela picked up this picture and traced her finger over the frame. As she sat down to linger over the picture a while longer, her foot accidentally bumped a bag that was situated next to the bed, knocking out many of its contents. She dropped the picture on the bed and knelt down to pick up the items that were now strewn about. She put back a bar of soap, a razor, some clothes, and other utensils he obviously used while away. Lastly Michaela reached for a book that had slid across the floor. As she returned to put it back in Sully’s bag, a sheet of paper fell out. She picked it up and started to open it, but quickly withdrew her hands. “This is wrong,” she thought. “I shouldn’t be going through Sully’s things.” But her longing to know what was on this piece of paper got the best of her. She unfolded it and began to read, “Dear Michaela…”

By the time she finished reading the letter, tears were streaming down her face. “Oh, Sully,” she thought in anguish, “Why didn’t you tell me? I had no idea how tormented you were.” Her heart ached to learn her husband’s thoughts. She couldn’t believe Sully thought he was failing them. “You never failed us,” she said, wiping her tears, “Not until you left.” Michaela reread the letter several times. It hurt her to learn he had lost faith in her and in their relationship. Sully had always been the one who resolutely believed they could get through anything together. Now even he had lost that faith.

Michaela realized that she never understood the depth of Sully’s feelings of failure at not being able to protect the land. She was proud of his commitment to preservation. Even though he couldn’t achieve permanent protection, as long as business wasn’t permitted to build on it, she saw it as a victory. Instead of trying to understand his feelings, she tried to reassure him and convince him that he was making a difference. Thinking about it now, she could see how he needed to be understood and comforted even more than he needed to be encouraged.

Michaela was trying to think about what Sully might have concluded about his work. The letter said he found his path. “What does that mean?” she wondered. Did he still work for the General Land Office? Did he want to do something else? Would he want to move? She’d have to ask him these questions soon.

She carefully put the letter back in the book and returned the book to his bag. For the first time she understood the pain he was in and why he felt he needed to leave to find his way again. “Sully almost gave up on us, but he didn’t,” she said wiping away more tears. “He came home. He’s fighting for us now, and we will never work this out if I continue fighting against him.” For the first time since Sully returned, Michaela felt hope…real hope.

* * *

When Sully, Katie, and Josef returned home their senses were immediately engulfed by the aroma of supper cooking on the stove. Sully was surprised to see Michaela greet them all with a huge smile on her face.

“Did you have fun with Papa?” she said to Katie and Josef bending down to hug them.

“Yeah. Papa and Robert E. gave us piggy back rides,” Katie said with her arm caught in her sleeve as she removed her coat.

“They did, did they?” she questioned her children while helping her daughter off with her coat. “Did you wear them out?” she said glancing at her husband.

“Not too much,” Sully responded with a smile. He took the coats from Michaela and hung them on the rack. “Somethin’ sure smells good.”

“I had some time to myself so I made a special supper,” she said. “Why don’t you clean up and I’ll set the table.”

The family enjoyed a delicious meal and lively conversation. It was the most natural and relaxed supper they had since he came home. As Michaela and Katie started to clear the table, Sully touched his daughter’s arm to indicate that he would take over for her. He brought several dishes into the kitchen and together Michaela and Sully washed and dried them while Katie and Josef played in the living room.

“Supper was real good,” he remarked sensing something different in her.

“Thank you. I was in the mood to make a special meal tonight,” she responded as she washed a plate.

“Any reason?” Sully asked eyeing her curiously as he dried and put away a plate.

She shrugged her shoulders. “Not really. As I said, I was home early, had the house to myself, and thought it would be nice.”

Sully moved closer to her and placed his hand on her waist. “It was real nice of you,” he softly spoke, noticing that for the first time Michaela didn’t back away at his touch.

“Thank you,” she casually replied, still focused on the task before her. But as Sully drew nearer and reached for her hand, her heart began to race.

“No,” he returned lifting Michaela’s hand from the warm, soapy water, “Thank you.” He dried her hand playfully with the towel he had handy then placed a tender kiss on the back of her hand.

Michaela held her breath and shyly caught his eye. “Why don’t we put the children to bed together tonight? Then perhaps you could have a cup of coffee with me downstairs if you’d like,” she said as her heart raced faster.

“That sounds, uh, real good,” he replied stunned by her overture.

They put the children to bed, told them each a bedtime story and kissed them goodnight. When they were back downstairs, they sat silently staring into the fire. An awkward silence filled the room as neither one of them knew what to say.

“You…you haven’t mentioned Cloud Dancing,” Michaela timidly began. “Did you see him?”

“Yeah, I saw ‘im. He asked about you,” Sully said as he nervously fiddled with the beads around his neck.

“I miss him. How is he?”

“He misses you too, but he belongs with his people. He’s at peace,” he said as his voice reflected sadness.

“I’m glad he knows where he belongs and I’m glad you got to spend time with him again,” she said sincerely, uncertain how to interpret his tone of voice.

Sully felt her sincerity and he guiltily turned away. He rose to add another log to the fire. “It was good bein’ with him again, talkin’, fishin’, and doin’ all the things we used ta do. I missed that,” he replied wistfully as he sat back down.

“I know you did,” she softly replied. Michaela felt too uncomfortable to press Sully further about what happened while he was gone. Again, silence permeated the room as they returned to quietly watching the flames dance in the fireplace.

“Um, Sully?”

“Yeah?” he responded, hoping this was the moment she’d finally open up to him.

“I think I’ll head upstairs now.” She got up and began to make her way to the staircase.

Disappointed, Sully followed and gently squeezed her shoulder. “G’night,” he whispered.

“Goodnight Sully.”

Sully watched from behind as Michaela gracefully ascended the stairs. Then he turned down the lamps and locked the house up for the evening. It was obvious to both of them that something had happened between them this evening. That they had grown closer. There was so much they still needed to say and neither of them knew where to begin, but Sully was confident he would know when the time was right.

* * *

Sully continued to follow Michaela out of town each day despite their progress. He arranged for Julie to take care of the children after school since he didn’t know where these trips would take him or for how long. A few days after visiting the Cheyenne reservation, she rode out to the site of the old homestead. Matthew’s homestead now stood in its place. Sully watched as she wrapped her arm around a charred post from the old homestead, the only one left standing after the fire. He saw her hug the post and stare off into the distance, lost in thought.

The day after visiting the old homestead, she rode out of town and stopped at a clearing, tied Flash to a tree, and sat down. Sully crept silently behind her and stopped suddenly, drawing in his breath. This was the place he had proposed to her. Questions spun around his head because he just didn’t understand what these trips meant. What was she doing here? Was she meeting someone? Doesn’t she know where she’s going? Doesn’t she remember what these places mean to them? It was breaking his heart to think Michaela could meet anyone else at places that held such significance for the two of them.

At each stop Sully observed Michaela alone, lost in thought. It looked as if she was waiting for someone who never showed up. Sully crouched low behind some bushes and observed as she sat in the exact spot they built the sweat lodge almost eleven years ago. Suddenly he saw another horse approach and his heartbeat quickened as he recognized the rider. It was Ben. As Ben dismounted his horse and walked toward Michaela, Sully’s legs became unsteady under him and he fell to his knees. It wasn’t his imagination. Michaela was meeting Ben here today. Clenching his teeth, Sully peered through the bushes to spy on his wife with another man.

“Michaela, are you all right?” Ben asked as he saw her sitting on the ground.

“Ben! What are you doing here?” she asked in astonishment. So lost in thought she didn’t even hear him approach, yet was clearly both surprised and irritated at Ben’s arrival.

“I was heading back to town after looking for Indian carvings and saw Flash. I thought you were hurt.”

Michaela didn’t want to be disturbed and Ben’s intrusion right now had upset her. “I’m not hurt and I want to be left alone, Please,” she said firmly.

“What are you doing?” he asked again as he sat down close to her on the grass.

“I’d rather not say,” she sighed heavily in aggravation. “But please, I’d like to be left to myself. Thank you,” she responded more forcefully.

“You have got to be kidding Michaela. I’m not leaving you alone out here in the middle of nowhere.”

“Please Ben,” she pleaded. “I need to be alone.”

Ben sensed she was upset and moved closer to her. “Not until you explain what you’re doing here,” he demanded.

Sully couldn’t hear what was being said, though he could sense that Michaela seemed angry with Ben. But why? Was she angry he left her waiting those other times or for some other reason? The only way he’d find out was to continue to observe their interaction.

Michaela knew Ben wasn’t going to leave without an explanation. “Sully proposed to me here,” she quietly told him brushing her hands lightly over the ground as she remembered that day.

Ben swallowed hard. “Oh…I didn’t know.”

“It’s almost eleven years since that day, but I remember it as if it happened yesterday,” she continued as her eyes grew misty from the memories. “He proposed in a sweat lodge in this exact spot. I can still remember his every word. She closed her eyes and looked up at the sky. “I will love you all my days,” she dreamily whispered. “For weeks before, I was hoping he would ask. When he finally did, it was so…perfect,” she finished as her thoughts trailed off. She almost forgot Ben was there until he took her hand.

“Michaela, did something happen? Why are you here? Why are you thinking about these things? Did Sully say something to hurt you again?”

It was good to know someone was there for her right now, but Ben had to hear the truth once and for all. She shifted her position on the ground and reached for his other hand. Then looking directly in his eyes she told him what she knew he didn’t want to hear. “Ben, I’m doing this because I need to remember. I need to know that what Sully and I had was real, that it is real, and that my memories of what we shared aren’t fantasies I created. I need to know that we were truly happy, and coming here helps me. I need to know because I want us to get that back somehow. I want…I want Sully and I to get everything back,” she carefully explained.

Ben’s heart sank. He finally had his answer. It was one he already knew, but he couldn’t stop himself from hoping it would turn out differently. Michaela loved Sully with all her heart and she wanted to make her marriage work. Ben looked down disappointed then cleared his throat to speak. “Have you told him this?”

“No. We’re both so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing that it’s making it so hard to even be alone with one another,” she sadly admitted.

Ben stood then helped Michaela to her feet as well, still holding her hands in his. “Michaela, you have to talk to him. I can see how much you love Sully and I want the two of you to be happy again,” he stressed, though his heart was breaking.

“You do?”

“Of course I do. It’s no secret I hoped we could be more than friends to each other,” he said lightly brushing aside the wisps of hair that had fallen in her face. “But I know that’s not going to happen. And all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. You and Sully belong together and I know you can be happy together again. But you have to talk to him!”

“I hope you’re right,” she said as she lowered her eyes to the ground and sadly shook her head. “We’ve hurt each other so much. It’s hard to imagine how we could move forward.”

Ben brought his arms up and reassuringly hugged her. “Talk to him. One of you has to make the first move. You know what you want so just say it. If you don’t you may regret it for the rest of your life. Give Sully a chance Michaela. It’s clear he loves you as much as you love him,” he said with a lump in his throat.

“Thank you, Ben. You’ve been such a good friend to me.”

Sully had seen enough. Ben’s arms were around his wife and Michaela apparently found comfort in them. He knew now that something was definitely going on. He could hardly breath from the anger, hurt, and sorrow that surged through his entire body. He wanted to walk out of the bushes and confront them, but he didn’t. What would he say? “I hope you two will be happy together,” and just walk away? No, instead Sully left as secretly as he had come, and disappeared into the woods to think about how he could ever survive without Michaela in his life.

“I’ll leave you alone now so you can think about what you’re going to say,” Ben said. He let Michaela go and walked toward his horse.

“Thank you,” she added as he rode away. Michaela sat back down then closed her eyes. Once again she tried to relive that powerful moment she and Sully had shared here together nearly eleven years ago.

* * *

“I’ve missed you, Dorothy, and I’m sorry I haven’t been much of a friend over the past few months,” Michaela said over lunch with her best friend.

“Oh, I missed you too! And I’m sorry I couldn’t figure out a way to help you. I know how much you were hurting,” Dorothy responded reaching for her hand.

Michaela looked down at her plate. “I’m afraid no one could.” She lifted her eyes to her friend. “Thank you for coming out to the homestead after Christmas. I know it didn’t seem it, but I appreciated it.” Dorothy knew these words were hard for Michaela to speak so she gave her all the time she needed to continue. After a few moments she went on. “It was so hard being around anyone. I didn’t want to go into town. I couldn’t bear to hear what they were saying about us.”

“You know I wasn’t saying those things, don’t you?”

“Of course. Oh, I’m sorry. None of this is coming out right,” Michaela said flustered.

“Of course it is. I understand, Michaela. I really do,” Dorothy comforted. “Are things any better with Sully?”

“It’s back to normal with the children. They were always so close. I’m glad his absence didn’t do permanent damage to their relationship,” she said absently stirring her soup.

Dorothy was concerned for her friend and gently pressed her for more. “What about the two of you?”

Michaela hesitated. “No, things are not better between us. I thought we were growing closer, but lately he’s pulled away again. It seems when one of us is ready to move forward the other isn’t. I don’t know what to do now,” she spoke with her voice breaking.

“I see,” Dorothy replied perplexed by Sully’s sudden change in attitude.

Michaela took a sip of coffee and continued. “When Sully first came home he tried so hard, but I kept him at a distance. For the past few days, he’s been keeping me at a distance. Perhaps I’m too late.”

“Have you told him you want to work things out?”

She lowered her eyes to the table. “Not in so many words.”

“For heavens sake, why not?”

She inhaled deeply. “I don’t know. I’m frightened, I suppose. If I tell him and he doesn’t feel the same way…I can’t go through that pain again. I wouldn’t recover next time.”

Dorothy patted her hand. “Michaela, I know Sully wants the same thing you do. I know it. Now, I understand you’re scared, but you love him and that’s what matters.”

She nodded as tears came to her eyes. “But, I don’t trust him like I used to,” she admitted. “I keep thinking he’ll leave us again,” she said sniffling. Finally she had given voice to what’s been holding her back.

“Have you talked about why he left?”

“No, but I think I understand better now,” she said as she leaned closer to Dorothy. “I found a letter he wrote me when he was trapped in the cabin. He never really gave it to me and doesn’t know I’ve read it so please don’t say anything. But in it he explained everything the best he could. Though I don’t understand completely how he could just leave, I can’t blame him either.”

“You have to talk to him,” Dorothy implored.

“I know,” she replied. “Dorothy, there’s something else. I feel a little foolish, but for the past few weeks I’ve been replaying our entire relationship – the time we met to our marriage, Katie and Josef, everything.” Her friend patted her hand urging her to continue. “I’ve been so confused. I was beginning to believe my memories of what we had weren’t real. I needed to go out to our special places to think and to remember. I never really understood why Sully went off into the woods to think, but now I think I do. It really does help,” she confessed with a grin.

“Folks noticed you disappearin’ recently,” Dorothy told her. “Well, what did you think about?”

“It may sound strange, but I replayed what brought us together and how we grew apart to see if I can find patterns. I know Sully wasn’t the only one at fault. As much as I tried to blame him for growing distant and handling problems by leaving, I was as much to blame by being too busy to spend time with him. I took what we had for granted,” she said as her voice faltered.

“Sometimes that happens when couples have been together a long time,” Dorothy sadly reflected.

“I know, I just never thought it could happen to us. When I think of all the times I disappointed Sully and the children, I’m ashamed. I cancelled so many plans with him because I was too busy at the clinic. I told him this was the life of a doctor, it was the life my father had, and there was no other way. You know, that was the one thing I hated about my father’s job though, he was rarely home.” She paused to sip her coffee. “Now I realize I was angry with Sully for being away so much. I thought he was growing restless in our life together and I used the clinic as an excuse to push him away. Sully told me before he left that he didn’t understand why I stopped making him a priority. I didn’t mean to do that. With Jason, I’ve found the right balance in my life. I should have hired another doctor years ago.”

“What’s important is that you’ve found the time now,” Dorothy reassured.

“It may be too late. Sully and I could read each other so well. He always knew what I needed before I said anything. We’ve hurt each other so much and now I’m not certain we can get that back,” she said as her heart felt like it was breaking all over again.

“Michaela, it’s not too late as long as you both love each other. Have you figured anything else out on these trips of yours?”

“A few things,” she said looking at her friend. “I realize that as different as Sully and I are in some ways, we’re very much alike when it comes to handling our pain.”

“How’s that?” she asked with eyebrows raised.

“Well, when we’re hurting, we both push people away. He does it by going off alone and I do it by keeping so busy I don’t have time to think about anything. Either way, it has the same effect,” she explained lowering her head. “I realize we fell into a vicious cycle. The more he hurt, the more he isolated himself, which hurt me, and then the busier I became, which hurt him. Instead of reaching out to each other we grew further and further apart.”

“Michaela, you’ve slowed down and learned from this experience. Don’t you think Sully learned something from all this too?”

“I suppose it’s possible. I don’t know Dorothy… I’m so frightened.”

“Michaela, talk to him. Tell him exactly what you told me. You’ll see.”

“I will,” she avowed squeezing Dorothy’s hand. “Thank you.”

* * *

Sully was working on Jake’s homestead. The hard work and solitude gave him time to think. After several hours, he decided he would confront Michaela and ask her flat out what she wanted to do. He wasn’t even sure it mattered since at this moment he didn’t have it in him to forgive that kind of betrayal. Still, if she wanted to be with Ben now, he wanted to hear it from her. If Michaela was unhappy in their marriage, it didn’t make any sense for them to stay together just for the children. Sully knew that would only make everyone miserable. “How could this be happening?” he said as he hammered a nail into the post. Each day brought them closer and he dared to believe they could again have everything they once shared. Now, ever since the day he saw Michaela with Ben in the woods, he was avoiding the homestead and things between them were strained.

As he brought the hammer down on another nail, he thought about the last place he followed her since seeing her with Ben. It was to the old oak tree where Katie was born. He remembered watching Michaela sit against that tree, deep in concentration. No one arrived that time, but he didn’t feel like waiting around to experience again the pain he felt in seeing her in another man’s arms. Sully knew it was possible Ben came by after he left.

“Sully, I was hoping I’d find you out here.”

Sully wasn’t expecting anyone, but recognized Ben’s voice. He stilled the hammer and folded his hands in front of his chest. “What do you want?”

Ben sensed his hostility, but continued. “I’d like you to read what I’ve written about the Cheyenne. I’m not going to be in town much longer and I’d appreciate your input before I leave.”

Sully turned back to his work. “I ain’t interested in helpin’ you with nothin’,” he snapped bringing the hammer down on the nail. He caught Ben’s mention of leaving soon and wondered what that meant.

“Sully, I don’t understand. I know what the Cheyenne mean to you,” he said raising his voice to be heard over the sound of the hammer.

Sully’s jaw clenched. “You know nothin’ ‘bout me,” he shot back glaring over his shoulder.

Ben stepped closer. “I know helping the Indians almost cost you your life and your freedom,” he retorted. “My work can do some good, and I need your help to get it right. Since the day I arrived here, everyone in town told me I had to speak with you – Dorothy, Mayor Slicker, Brian and Michaela.”

Sully tightened his grip on the hammer. “I heard enough! My answer is no,” he said with finality, fighting the urge to throw Ben to the ground. “Now, if ya don’t mind, I’m busy here,” he said as he picked up another nail to hammer.

But Ben wasn’t giving up. Despite everything that had happened, his reason for coming to Colorado was to help the Indians and he needed Sully’s help. He took a deep breath and decided to clear the air. “Sully, if this is about Michaela…”

With that, Sully threw the hammer to the ground and sharply turned to Ben. “Leave my wife out of it,” he warned. He could feel the blood rushing through him and the vein throbbing in his neck.

“Nothing happened between Michaela and I,” Ben calmly insisted.

“I said ta leave her out a this,” Sully repeated and stepped back before he let his anger take control. His hands clenched into fists at his side. “I seen the way ya look at ‘er, he accused. “Don’t it mean anythin’ that she’s married?” Sully shouted.

“Of course it does,” he answered sincerely. “Look, we’re only friends. She helped me learn about the Cheyenne and I helped her when you were gone. That’s it! All I’m asking is for you to listen to what I have to say.”

“I ain’t interested,” Sully replied stressing his every word. “Now get outta here.”

Without thinking, Ben approached Sully and grabbed his arm. “You better be interested in this,” he shouted.

Sully reacted. He yanked his arm free, then grabbed Ben and pushed him back, knocking him to the ground. “Go on! Get up!” he challenged.

“Wait Sully,” Ben shouted to hold off Sully’s advance. He rose to his feet and backed a few steps away. “I’m not looking to fight you. I’m not,” he insisted. “Just please, listen to me. Hear me out, that’s all I ask.”

Sully stood silent and waited for him to say what he had to say and get it over with.

Ben sighed heavily, struggling with how to begin. “Michaela loves you, more than you deserve, from what I can see, but she does. Now you were right Sully. I can’t say I didn’t have feelings for Michaela. I did, I mean what man wouldn’t? She’s beautiful and smart and caring…”

Ben began to ramble in his nervousness and Sully grew angered at his impetuous compliments to his wife.

“You expect me to stand here and listen to this from you?” Sully snapped.

Ben realized his error and continued. “The point is she loves you. She doesn’t have room in her heart for anyone else.”

Sully remained motionless at these words. He did not so much as blink an eye, but kept his glare fixed intently on Ben.

Ben, on the other hand, grew agitated at Sully’s apparent indifference. He began to silently pace back and forth in frustration, until finally he couldn’t restrain his comments any longer. “You know, you’re really something Sully! You think coming here and asking for your help was easy for me? Do you think it was any easier sitting with her night after night when I was feeling this way? Having to hear about you all the time? She’d go on about what a great husband you were, and father, your love for the Cheyenne, your passion for helping others, your integrity, your devotion to your friends! And…and how much she loved you!” Now Ben was yelling.

Someone had to say these words to Sully. Someone had to make him see the truth and Ben realized he was the only one who could. “No matter how bad things got after you left, not once did she go without declaring her love for you. Not once! The two of you are so caught up in your own pain that you can’t see what’s right in front of you! The sad thing about this Sully, is that you’re supposed to know her so well and you can’t even begin to fathom just how faithful Michaela really is. Not just in her actions, but in her heart, and her mind…in her very soul. I know you want to be with her again, and she told me all she wants is to be with you too, but neither of you are going to get there acting like this!” Ben was flustered, but had nothing else to add. He stared at Sully for a few more moments then stormed off.

Sully’s heart was pounding as he watched him leave and he wondered if Ben was telling the truth. As he stared off in the distance, he sat down in front of Jake’s homestead and thought about everything that happened since he came home. He thought about Ben and the obvious connection he had with his family, especially his wife. It angered him that he knew so much about his family. But it took courage for Ben to confront Sully as he had, given his obvious feelings for Michaela, and he grudgingly respected him for that as he would any other man who did the same.

After a while he thought about the places he followed Michaela. He needed to understand what these trips meant. As he slowly pictured each place in his mind, he was overcome with a flood of memories of their life together – meeting, falling in love, getting married, and having Katie then Josef. Suddenly it hit him – the reservation, the old homestead, the sweat lodge, and the oak tree – “Michaela’s not meetin’ anyone. She’s thinking about Us. She’s replayin’ our life together and she’s goin’ pretty much in order,” he said as a faint smile formed on his lips.

Still, Sully didn’t know if these visits were good. What was she thinking about? Was she remembering all the good times they shared? Or was she losing hope for what they once had? “Maybe she’s waitin’ for me,” he wondered. He had to talk to her now more than ever. He decided to follow her one more time and even try to guess the next place she might go.

* * *

The next day, Sully followed Michaela out of town again, wondering where she’d go next. “If it was me, it’d be the cave or the waterfall,” he said to himself. The March sun warmed his back as he rode a good distance behind her. He noticed Michaela slow down and tie Flash to a tree. Then he smiled knowing the place. “The waterfall,” he said under his breath. Tying his horse several yards away so as not to alert Flash, Sully quietly stepped closer and stood behind a tree to secretly observe his wife.

Michaela walked toward the waterfall and sat down on a rock to enjoy the beauty without getting wet. The water was glistening as it moved over the rocks, bathed in the midday sun. She was thinking about the times Sully took her to this waterfall. The first time when he “kidnapped” her, and other times when they just wanted to be alone together. It had become their most intimate of places. Closing her eyes she could vividly recall the feeling of she and Sully holding each other in the water, kissing, and making love. Here their passions burst forth like the falls themselves.

A sense of peace washed over Michaela. It was a peace she hadn’t felt in some time, like she could almost feel Sully’s presence and love there with her now. She even swore she could hear his voice speaking to her heart.

“I remember too…”

Chapter Twenty-Six

“All these memories must be playing tricks on my mind,” she thought shaking herself back to reality. “Oh,” she sighed. “Now I’m hearing things.” But still, she sensed she wasn’t alone. Michaela stood, gradually turned around and gasped. There was Sully, standing a few feet away from her, arms at his side, watching her with hope in his eyes.

“I remember too, everything, Michaela,” he softly said as he approached her. She could feel his blue eyes penetrating her heart.

“Oh Sully,” she murmured breathlessly.

“I’m here,” he said as he walked closer. “We need ta talk Michaela,” he said searching her face. “I want us to get everything back.” Relief washed over him as he saw the same desire reflected in her eyes.

Michaela was overwhelmed that he knew where to find her and at the words he had just spoken, those words she hoped to hear for so long now. She stood motionless, dazed in her mix of hope and fear.

Taking her hand in his, Sully led her back to the spot where she was sitting. They sat quietly, holding hands and gazing at the waterfall. Neither of them knew where to begin.

“H…How did you find me?” she timidly began.

Sully took a deep breath and squeezed her hand. “Promise me you won’t get mad ‘til you’ve heard me out.”

“Why would I be mad Sully? What is it?” Her heart beat rapidly as she grew confused and scared.

“Uh…well…uh, I’ve been followin’ you,” he admitted guiltily.

“Following me! Why?”

“I was worried,” he said in a quiet voice.

“Worried about what?”

Sully held his breath and let it out slowly then turned to face her. “That maybe there was someone else.”

Michaela turned slightly to look into his eyes. “Oh Sully, there’s never been anyone else,” she passionately affirmed. “How could you ever think that?”

He looked back toward the waterfall. “When you kept disappearin’ I could tell you were hidin’ somethin’. I can usually tell when you’re holdin’ somethin’ back.” Sully ran his hand through his hair wondering if he should go on. “Everyone in town kept tellin’ me somethin’ was goin’ on with you and Ben.”

“I’m sorry.” She looked away ashamed. “I didn’t mean to add more confusion to things between us.” A deafening silence permeated before she continued. “What were you told?”

“That somethin’ was goin’ on between the two a you ever since the Sweetheart’s Dance.” He lifted his head to try to read her expression.

“Oh,” Michaela murmured, embarrassed. “I’m sorry about that. Brian convinced…”

“I know.” Sully held up his hand to silence her. “Matthew told me.”

“Matthew didn’t suspect anything, did he?”

“He didn’t think so, but he wasn’t sure. Thought it was possible,” he revealed in a soft voice.

“Oh dear,” she said linking her fingers with his. “Nothing was going on, Sully. I’d never do that to you. You believe me, don’t you?”

He sighed heavily. “Yes, but I’d still like to hear about it from you.”

Michaela struggled to find the words to explain her relationship with Ben. “When I learned of Ben’s interest in the Cheyenne and his desire to teach his students about them and about what the Army was doing to them I wanted to help him. Brian and I showed him the old reservation and told him stories about Black Kettle and his people. I wished you were here because you could have taught him so much more. You would like him Sully. He has a real passion to help the Indians like you do.”

Michaela paused with this comment before continuing. “We did spend a lot of time together I suppose. I kept telling myself if you were here then we’d both be helping him. But since you weren’t I thought that you’d want me to help Ben as much as I could. I never thought anyone would think anything more of it.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“I can see he’s got feelin’s for ya, Michaela,” he said as he caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.

Michaela inhaled deeply. “I know. Ben told me a few weeks after Christmas that he had feelings for me, but I didn’t return those feelings.” She looked into his eyes. “I told him I couldn’t be more than his friend and he accepted that.”

“What if I’d been gone longer?” he whispered, his throat dry.

She brought her free hand up to his face and lightly ran her fingers from his cheekbone to his chin. She quivered as her emotions mounted within her. “Don’t you know my heart belongs to you? I enjoyed Ben’s company and I could talk to him. He was there for the children at Christmas and he supported me when Katie was sick.” She noticed the pained expression in his eyes and she clasped his hand with both of her hands. “But Sully, it was you I wanted then, not Ben. And, it’s you I want now.”

“I was so worried I’d lost ya,” he revealed, choking back his own emotions.

“You could never lose me Sully,” she affirmed. Glancing away, she added in a quiet voice, “I thought I lost you.”

“I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence for a long time, gazing into the falls. There was still so much they needed to say to each other, but for now they were content just sitting next to each other and feeling the warmth of their hands joined together.

After a while, Michaela began again. “Where did you follow me?”

“Everywhere you went when you left the clinic. Sometimes it was to patients or to see Dorothy, but other times were like this. I saw you at the Cheyenne reservation, the old homestead, the place I proposed to ya, the oak tree where Katie was born, and here. At first I didn’t know what you were doin’, but when I thought about the places, how they’re special ta us, I knew we had ta talk,” he explained. “What were you thinkin’ about?”

“I’m not sure I can explain it, but I was thinking about us. I was so confused. The longer you were gone I started to wonder if my memories were real and if our love was as strong as I always believed. For the first time ever, I doubted what we had and it was the worst feeling I’ve ever known. Later I was trying to understand what happened to us. I never imagined we could be this far apart.”

“Me neither.”

Michaela continued, “I wanted to remember everything - the good and the bad - so I could determine how to make it right again. I see so many things I did wrong.”

“Me too,” he said with a lump in his throat. “It ain’t just you Michaela. We both hurt each other. I know I hurt you by leavin’. When I got back I tried to explain, but…”

“But I wouldn’t let you,” she finished for him.

“You couldn’t hear me then. You weren’t ready to. And you told me everythin’ I needed ta know before I left, but I wasn’t ready ta hear it then either.” Sully turned to face her with eyes filled with deep emotion. “But I’m ready now Michaela. I want to listen and trust what we have again. I want to rebuild what we had, even stronger this time. Do you?”

Michaela didn’t answer immediately. “Do you remember Sam Lindsay?”

“Uh, sure,” he answered not knowing where she was going with this.

“She said seeing us together was like watching a fire burn,” she reflected.

Sully nodded, remembering those words.

“Well, I’ve been thinking. We stopped tending to the fire. Our fire should be growing bigger and burning brighter, but instead…instead it’s almost out.”

Sully’s thumb tenderly caressed her hand. “It’s not out Michaela. My fire for you has never gone out. It never will.” He looked into her eyes and added, “Never.”

“But I thought it did. When you didn’t send word and didn’t come home, I thought you gave up on us and it hurt so much. I never felt that kind of pain before. After Christmas is when it really hit me. I…”

“I know how you were hurtin’ Michaela, you don’t have ta tell me,” he interrupted.

“No Sully, you don’t know. You don’t know how bad it got for me.”

“Michaela, I do,” he repeated. “Dorothy told me everythin’.”

“Dorothy?” Michaela didn’t know whether she felt hurt or angered at her friend’s intercession.

“Don’t be mad at her. She was just tryin’ ta convince me how much you missed me when I didn’t believe you had. But trust me, I know.”

“I love you so much Sully, but I’m frightened.”

Sully swallowed hard biting back tears. “I love you too Michaela, more than anythin’. When I think a the pain I put you through, I can hardly bear it.”

Michaela’s eyes filled with tears. “I want to get everything back too, but I know I hurt you.”

Sully brought their joined hands to his heart. “There’re wounds that need healin’ in both of us. It took us a long time to get here and we’re not gonna heal overnight. But if we both want it, we can start tendin’ to the fire again right now and have it burnin’ brighter than ever in no time.”

“Where do we go from here?”

Sully put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder. “You bein’ here tells me you already know the answer to that. We do it the same way we did in the beginnin’. Nice and slow. I’m willin’ if you are.”

“I am,” she pledged.

Sully helped Michaela to her feet and pausing a few moments, he gazed into her eyes. He slowly brought her hand to his lips and softly kissed it. Hand-in-hand they walked toward their horses to ride back to the homestead, satisfied at having reaffirmed their commitment to one another.

* * *

“Sully, could you wait out here a moment?” Michaela quickly said before closing the clinic door on him.

He stood facing the door confused. He was sure she said she’d be available for their walk today and yet she wasn’t. Sully lingered outside the door on pins and needles, fearing that, yet again, Michaela would end up canceling their time together for work. He took a seat on the bench and eagerly waited for her. Minutes passed before he heard the clinic door open again.

Michaela popped her head out briefly. I’m almost done,” she said and turned to go back in.

“Wait!” Sully jumped up to stop her. “We’re still goin’ ain’t we?” he asked, his voice laced with anxiety.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it,” she said with a bright smile. “I’m just finishing my last patient. I’ll be right out.”

“I’ll be right here,” he replied relieved.

As she disappeared back inside the clinic, Sully sat again, surprised something as simple as Michaela needing to finish with a patient would bring back such strong feelings of rejection. When she wasn’t ready he was sure she would have to cancel. Before he left it had become commonplace for her to call off their plans. Taking a deep breath, he knew he had to get control of his emotions. He always knew there would be legitimate times when she would have to cancel their plans. He’d always accepted that part of being married to a doctor. But for now, he needed to feel like a priority in her life again.

From his seat on the bench Sully leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees as he looked from one end of the road to the other, taking in the day’s activities. Loren was sweeping the front porch of the mercantile. He could see Hank, cigar in hand, standing outside the Gold Nugget talking to Jake.

“Guess you was right, Sully,” Hank yelled to him from across the road.

“Hank?” Sully wasn’t sure of his meaning.

“Looks like I’m seein’ ya around town after all, since it seems ya ain’t run off again.”

“Yet,” Jake added.

Hank and Jake heartily laughed at the jest. Sully chose to ignore it.

Suddenly he saw Ben walking toward the clinic and he sat upright in his seat with his back rigid.

“Hello Sully,” Ben said averting his eyes.

“Ben,” Sully replied, equally grudged to offer a more polite greeting.

“Is Michaela with a patient?” Ben asked still looking off toward town.

Sully jaw involuntarily clenched and he nodded. “But I’m waitin’ for her. Why?”

Ben shuffled his feet with his eyes lowered. “I was just bringing over my course material on the Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians,” he explained tightly clutching a bound stack of papers. “I’d like to get her opinion on it.”

“I’ll make sure she gets it,” Sully said, reveling in the chance to divert a meeting between Ben and his wife.

Ben handed him a thick stack of loose-leaf paper held together by a piece of twine and started to walk away, but stopped short. “I’d be pleased if you’d read it too,” he added, waiting for a response with his back still turned.

Sully glared at him and considered the request. “I’ll think about it.”

Ben’s eyes widened. “Thank you,” he said turning over his shoulder to look at Sully. Then he walked away.

Sully stared at the bound stack of papers in his lap and began to read the first page… “The Plains Indians known as the Cheyenne and Arapaho Nations made their home for a time in the State we now call Colorado. Their way of life has much to teach us as this young country prepares to enter a new century. If we are to live up to the ideals of our forefathers, our legacy with the Indians must not be in how we conquered their land and pilfered their villages, but in how we learned to respect their place in history as the first Americans, and in how we came to cherish their diversity and culture, making it possible for them to succeed in our world while remaining true to their own rich heritage.”

The clinic door opened and Michaela escorted Mr. Perkins out to the street. Noticing her husband hunched over a stack of papers unaware of her presence, she sat on the bench beside him and gently touched his arm. “What’s so interesting?”

Sully’s head shot up. “Uh, n…nothing really,” he stammered. “Ben brought this by for you,” he said handing her the course material.

“Oh.” Michaela accepted the papers as she fought to hide a wry smile. “Is it any good?”

Sully shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t get very far,” he answered indifferently. He leaned back against the bench then rested his arms behind his head.

“I know it would mean a lot to Ben if you would read his course.” Immediately she felt him tense. “What I mean is you can provide him with details none of us know, and those details will tell people what really happened. He can only hope to turn public opinion around if he can get people to feel the outrage the way we do Sully.”

Lowering one arm and placing it around Michaela’s shoulder he pulled her closer. “I already told him I’d think about it,” he revealed. Abruptly he stood and pulled her up with him. “Ready for our walk?”

“Yes,” she answered as she took his hand and tucked the papers into her saddlebag.

* * *

Wildflowers were making their early spring appearance as Michaela and Sully walked through the woods with their fingers entwined together. They didn’t know how long they had been walking, enjoying the silence of the woods and being alone together. At last they decided to rest at a clearing overlooking a magnificent mountain vista.

“It’s so beautiful here,” she said breaking the silence.

“It is,” he agreed feeling at peace in the woods with Michaela by his side.

“I have a confession to make to you,” she nervously said. At last she felt ready to open up to him and she hoped he felt the same.

“What?” He turned to face her, unsure what to expect.

“I found the letter you wrote me.”

He shrugged his shoulders, perplexed. “Letter?”

Michaela grew uncomfortable. “The one you wrote in the cabin when you were stranded in the blizzard.”

“Oh,” he remembered. “How’d ya find it?”

She hesitated for a few moments. “I passed by Brian’s room and went in just to look around. I accidentally knocked over your bag and when I went to put your things back, it fell out of a book.” She stopped to look at him. “The letter was beautiful Sully. It helped me understand how you were feeling. I wish you had sent it.”

“I wanted to,” he quietly stated. “I wanted you to know I was comin’ home, but the stage wasn’t comin’ through ‘cause a the blizzard and they said I’d make it to Colorado faster than the letter. I guess I forgot about it when I got home.”

“Are you angry with me?”

He reached for her hand. “No. How could I be? I practically did the same thing by followin’ you. We both had things we needed to know,” he answered. “I meant every word of that letter, you know.”

Michaela took a deep breath and gathered the courage to continue. “Tell me why you left Sully. You said it was because you thought you were failing us. You thought we’d be better off without you. How could you ever think that?”

He lowered his eyes. “I didn’t know what else ta think. I failed with the Indians and I was failin’ with the land. I see now I was goin’ about it all wrong. When I started workin’ for the land I knew we needed to find a balance between usin’ it and protectin’ it, but somewhere along the way, I lost that balance and got too focused on protection. I kept thinkin’ if I kept at it they’d protect somethin’. I just hadn’t found the right place yet. Then when I’d get home you’d act like you didn’t need me around so I’d leave again. It was easier than stayin’. I see now that only made things worse. With the way things got between us, I started ta think I was failin’ you too. I thought it would be better for ya if I left for a while, at least ‘til I found my way again.”

“Oh, Sully, you never failed us.”

He pulled her closer. “I failed ya this time, Michaela. Everythin’ I was afraid of doin’ by stayin’, I ended up doin’ by leavin’.

She remained silent, taking a moment to ponder his words and her own thoughts. “I failed you too.”

“No you didn’t. He softly kissed her brow. “I’m the one who kept leavin’ and stayin’ away longer.”

“But I allowed the clinic to consume me to dull the ache I was feeling by your constant absences. That only made you stay away more.”

Sully breathed deeply, but remained silent, letting her continue.

“When I thought you had given up on us I was devastated. We’ve always believed we could get through anything together. I didn’t understand why you lost faith in me…in us,” she said as her eyes glistened with tears.

Sully could hardly breath as he listened to her words. “I didn’t want to and I never once stopped loving you,” he replied. Taking both of her hands in his, he tried to explain. “I lost faith in myself. I stopped believin’ I could make a difference in the world and that I could make you and the kids happy.”

Michaela’s heart was breaking over her husband’s despair. She wrapped her arms around him. “Were you really going to leave us?” she choked out into his chest.

Sully held her and tenderly stroked her hair, tears in his eyes. “I never could. We belong together Michaela,” he assured as he nuzzled deeper into her hair. “I’ve always wanted what’s best for you and the kids. I wasn’t any good to anyone and I needed guidance from the spirits to restore my faith in myself before I could come back. I told you a long time ago that you always come back to the people you love.”

She rested in his arms. “Did you hear the spirits?”

Sully nodded. “Cloud Dancin’ and the spirits showed me there’s nothin’ more important than you and the kids and doin’ what I can to protect our way a life. The sad thing is I already knew that. It took bein’ away ta realize it though. Leavin’ was the biggest mistake a my life.” He drew her in tighter than ever, gently rocking her back and forth in his arms. “When I came back I thought I was too late.”

She placed her hand on his cheek. “It’s not too late, Sully.”

Sully placed his hand atop hers and held her to him as he tenderly kissed her brow.

* * *

“Papa, can we fly the kite now?” Josef said running around in circles. Sully was trying to place the blanket on the ground for their Sunday picnic.

“In a minute, Joe,” he replied as he straightened one end.

Michaela lowered the picnic basket to the ground and walked toward her husband, touching his arm. “You go. I’ll finish here.”

Sully smiled at her. “Come on, Joe,” he called to his impatient son. The two of them carried the kite to the other end of the meadow, careful not to disturb other family picnics.

Michaela finished straightening the blanket, placed the picnic basket in the center, and opened the lid to take out a carrot. “Do you want one sweetheart?” she asked Katie.

Katie was watching her father and brother fly the kite and didn’t hear her mother.

“Katie,” Michaela repeated.

“Huh?” Katie turned to look at her mother.

“Would you like something to eat? A carrot or an apple perhaps?”

“No thank you,” she said as she turned again to watch the kite.

Michaela touched her shoulder. “Why don’t you go join them? I’m sure they’ll let you fly the kite.”

“There’s only one,” she said disappointed. “And I can’t play in my church dress.”

“Go on. I believe we can make an exception about the dress today.” Michaela smiled lovingly. “And, you and Josef can take turns with the kite.”

Katie’s eyes brightened. She jumped up to hurriedly join her father and brother.

Michaela watched her children take turns flying the kite with Sully. She marveled at her husband’s patience in teaching them despite always having to retrieve the kite when it got caught in a tree. Looking at the excited expressions on their faces and seeing them all together again laughing and smiling, she felt her heart swell with joy.

“May we join you?”

Startled, Michaela looked up. “Um, of course, Ben,” she hesitantly replied standing to her feet. Her eyes darted from Sully to Ben, then to the beautiful young woman who accompanied the Morrisons.

“Dr. Mike, I’d like you to meet Nellie,” Jason said introducing his fiancé.

Michaela smiled and extended her hand. “Nellie, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m glad you could come for a visit.”

Nellie shook her hand. “I’m glad to finally meet you. Jason wrote me so much about you and all he’s learned working with you.”

Jason’s face flushed red with embarrassment.

“Well I’m sure he exaggerated, which was kind of him. But it’s a pleasure working with him. How long are you staying?” she asked gesturing for them to join her on the blanket.

“A few weeks. The town is so beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like these mountains,” Nellie said taking a seat next to Michaela.

“I know what you mean. After seeing Colorado, I don’t think I could live anywhere else,” she replied then turned toward Jason. “You should take a few days off from the clinic to take Nellie into the mountains. Sully and I could tell you some beautiful spots to visit.”

“I’d like that Dr. Mike. Are you sure?” Jason asked as he reached for Nellie’s hand. Michaela nodded. Jason went on. “I’ll be available if anything serious happens and you need another doctor.”

“Did you travel all the way from New York alone?” Michaela asked.

“Yes. I thought about convincing my cousin Mary to accompany me since she’s sweet on Ben, but I knew my future brother-in-law would never forgive me,” she said with a hearty laugh.

“You can be sure I wouldn’t have forgiven you,” he remarked as he quickly glanced at Michaela.

Sully looked over to see the Morrisons join Michaela, and was unaware that the kite had become tangled in the nearby bushes.

“Papa,” Katie said.

His brow furrowed as he continued to watch Michaela laughing and smiling as she talked with the three of them.

“Papa,” Josef said tugging on his sleeve.

“Yeah, Joe?” Sully wasn’t paying attention.

“The kite’s stuck Papa,” Katie told him swinging her arms at her side.

“All right, I’ll get it, but then we’re goin’ back to the picnic.”

“Do we have to Papa?” Josef whined disappointed.

“Yeah, come on. We’ll play some more later.” Sully and the children retrieved the kite from the bushes and walked back towards the picnic.

“Sully, I’d like you to meet Nellie, Jason’s fiancé,” Michaela introduced.

“Pleased ta meet you,” he greeted leaning down to shake her hand. He took a seat on the blanket close to Michaela and reached for her hand. Sensing his discomfort Michaela reassuringly linked her fingers with his and leaned in closer to him. “When’s the weddin’?” he asked.

“June,” Nellie replied beaming. “In New York.”

“It sounds lovely,” Michaela commented.

Ben cleared his throat. “Sully, I was wondering if you would help me make sense of some things about the Cheyenne?”

“What kinds of things?” Sully asked disinterestedly as he opened the picnic basket to remove a piece of chicken.

Ben sighed. “The Dog Soldiers for one. I know their importance in Cheyenne society, but once they started raiding towns and killing settlers, why would Black Kettle’s village protect them? If Black Kettle wanted peace so badly, wouldn’t he know harboring Dog Soldiers would surely bring in the Army?”

“Knowin’ their role in Cheyenne society partly answers your question,” Sully said impressed with Ben’s desire to understand the Cheyenne. “The Dog Soldiers were fightin’ ta protect the Cheyenne way a life. Ya can’t defend their killin’ innocent folks, but I understand how they felt,” Sully patiently explained. “The Army was destroyin’ their way a life and starvin’ the people. The Dog Soldiers were the only ones feedin’ the tribe. Black Kettle didn’t agree with their violence, but he gave ‘em a safe harbor in exchange for food. All the Cheyenne ever wanted was ta live free on their land and ta keep their way a life.”

“Have you read my course yet?” Ben asked unable to contain his curiosity.

“Some.”

“Well? What do you think?”

“I’ll tell ya when I’m done,” Sully answered. Knowing Ben was eager for his comments, Sully decided to make him squirm a little while longer.

“Have I got it right so far?” Ben pressed thinking that Sully was exasperating.

“Some of it, but some of it ya don’t.”

Michaela squeezed his hand. “But you can help him get it right. Can’t you Sully? There’s no one here who knows what happened from the Cheyenne perspective except you,” she stressed.

“Please Sully. I want to get it right,” Ben insisted.

Sully thought a moment before complying. “All right. I’ll talk ta you ‘bout what really happened, but not here,” he said as he glanced at his children on the blanket.

“I understand. Thank you.”

“Do ya plan ta talk to any Indians?” Sully asked in a patronizing tone.

“I thought Michaela said all the Cheyenne are gone from Colorado Springs,” Ben responded defensively.

Sully still bristled when he heard Ben call his wife Michaela. “They are, but there’s some up north. You’re not gonna understand ‘em if you ain’t gonna talk ta any directly,” Sully retorted.

“Do you really think it would be safe for me to go to Montana and walk up to a tribe expecting them to talk to me?” he challenged.

Sully remembered the anger of the Cheyenne tribe he visited. “S’pose not,” he admitted.

“When can we talk?” Ben pressed.

“Let me finish what you wrote then we’ll talk,” he replied. “Meanwhile I’d like ta enjoy this picnic my wife made.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven

“It’s a nice night. You wanna drink these on the porch?” Sully suggested to Michaela handing her a cup of tea.

“That would be lovely,” she replied reaching for the cup. They walked out the front door and took a seat on the top porch step.

“You cold?” he asked noticing her hands wrapped around the teacup and her arms rigidly at her side.

“A little.”

Sully scooted closer to her, put his arm around her shoulders, and gently drew her towards him. “How ‘bout now?” he asked again with a gleam in his eye.

Michaela rested her head on his shoulder. “Now,” she sighed, “I’m quite comfortable.”

“Good,” he said then he kissed the top of her head.

It was a clear, crisp early spring evening. They sat in companionable silence staring out at the night sky as a cool breeze rustled the trees. They leisurely watched the shadows dancing in the moonlight across the yard.

“While you were gone I often sat out here thinking about you,” she said after a time. “I was remembering how this is your favorite part of the day and how much I used to enjoy sharing it with you like this.”

He lovingly caressed her shoulder. “I thought about you too,” he responded. “I’d look up at the stars at night and wonder what you were doin’, if you were thinkin’ ‘bout me.”

“I was,” she reaffirmed. “All I did was think of you.”

“Same here,” he said drawing her closer. Again, they sat silently as they lingered in the joy of their closeness. Sully was the first to break the peaceful silence. “Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout now?”

“I’m glad you agreed to talk with Ben about the Cheyenne. When I first met him I knew you could offer him the greatest help with his research.”

“His work’s real important, Michaela,” he grudgingly admitted with a sigh. “If he gets it right he might be able to do a lot of good. Teach folks the way the government tells it ain’t true.”

“You can help him get it right,” she said reaching up to grasp his hand on her shoulder, giving it a loving squeeze.

“I guess I’ll finish readin’ his course and I’ll talk ta him, but it’s up ta him ta listen and draw his own conclusions. We gotta hope he draws the right ones,” he said as he brought the cup to his mouth.

“I believe he will. He’s a good man, Sully.”

Despite reassurances that Michaela felt nothing more than friendship toward Ben, Sully still grew uncomfortable whenever she spoke of him. It reminded him of all she and Ben shared while he was away and all he missed with his family. Still, Sully didn’t really know what happened between them, if anything. He never asked and Michaela never volunteered any information. In his unguarded moments Sully could admit Ben was a good man, and he even respected him. Yet, the thought of him having feelings for his wife was driving him crazy and he’d be glad when he returned to New York.

“Sully.”

“…Hmm.”

She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply nervous about the question she needed to ask. “When you went north to be with the Cheyenne, did you…did…,” she hesitated.

“Did I what?” Sensing her anxiety he turned her head slightly to face him. “Michaela, you know you can ask me anything.”

She lowered her eyes. “Did staying with the Cheyenne make you miss your life with them…your life before us?” she asked in a quiet voice.

“No,” he said resting his hand on her shoulder. He tenderly lifted her head to meet his eyes. “I thought spendin’ time with my Cheyenne family would help me hear the spirits again and help me find my way. But I could never want my life the way it was before you.”

She smoothed back his hair. “I worried you would choose your Cheyenne family over ours since you weren’t happy,” she whispered, her voice breaking.

Sully reached for her hand and brought it to his lips for a tender kiss. “You, Katie, Josef and the older kids are my only family. I know that now. Cloud Dancin’ will always be my brother, but the rest of my Cheyenne family is gone.” He hesitated, swallowing hard. “Those Cheyenne weren’t my family.”

Michaela studied his pained expression. “What do you mean?”

He inhaled shakily. “I wasn’t welcome, Michaela.” He paused. “The tribe has so much hatred toward the white man that they couldn’t see I was any different.”

She brought her hand up to cup his face. “It must have been very painful for you.”

“It was,” he replied unsteadily. “My bein’ there made it hard on Cloud Dancin’ so I left.”

“Where did you go?”

“I went on a vision quest in the Black Hills. Once I knew where I belonged, that I belonged here with our family, I headed home,” he told her then brushed aside a strand of hair that had fallen in her face. “It was good spendin’ time with Cloud Dancin’ though. And I saw Live in Hopes.”

“Live in Hopes,” she murmured wistfully. “Oh Sully, how is he?”

Sully smiled. “He’s doin’ real well Michaela. You’d be amazed ta see how big he is. Cloud Dancin’s teachin’ his pa to be a medicine man.”

“I’ve thought of him often since Washita. He’d be a year older than Katie by now,” she said hardly believing that it had been over ten years since that senseless massacre. “Perhaps we could take Katie and Josef to visit Cloud Dancing and Live in Hopes someday? I’d love to see Cloud Dancing again,” she told him. Her hand crept into his where it rested at his side.

“He’d like that too,” he replied gently squeezing her hand. “It’d be nice to take the whole family to see ‘im, but I don’t want the kids to know they’re not welcome. If we went we couldn’t stay on the reservation.”

“The children should see Cloud Dancing again,” she responded as she rested her head on his shoulder.

“They oughta if they’re gonna remember the Cheyenne.” He paused, noticing Michaela stifle a yawn. “It’s gettin’ late. We should turn in.”

“You’re right,” she reluctantly agreed. She raised her head and sat up straight.

Sully stood and he reached his hand down to draw Michaela to her feet. Before going back inside the house, they lingered on the porch a moment longer facing each other. The moonlight illuminated her hair and face. Sully reached out and tenderly stroked her cheek, in awe of her beauty. He leaned forward slightly and searched her eyes for any sign of discomfort. Relieved to see her willingness to continue, he tentatively placed his thumb under her chin and lifted her face to his, kissing her lightly on the lips. “G’night Michaela,” he whispered.

“Goodnight Sully,” she whispered in return.

* * *

“She’s happy Jason,” Ben said pacing back and forth in his brother’s examination room.

“She’s the happiest I’ve seen her since we arrived,” Jason replied as he watched his brother’s agitated movements. “I thought you’d be happy about that.”

Ben stilled and looked at his brother. “I am,” he replied sinking into a chair. “But...”

“But?”

“It’s nothing,” Ben said as he grabbed a book from the desk and absently flipped the pages.

“I know there’s something bothering you. So spit it out,” Jason demanded in a comforting voice.

Ben bit his lip. “I hoped…I don’t know.” He paused and ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess…uh…I hoped it wouldn’t work out,” he choked out. “She shouldn’t have forgiven him.”

Jason sat down at his desk across from Ben. “They’ve been married a long time and they have children together. We met Dr. Mike when they were having problems, as all couples do, but they have a history together. It’s a history we know nothing about. I imagine it was that history that made it possible for her to forgive him and work things out,” he ventured.

“I suppose.” Ben looked out the window. “But…I haven’t felt like that since Rose,” he revealed. “And it’s hard to just let go of it again.”

“I know,” Jason softly replied and hesitated before continuing. “I worried you buried your heart right along with Rose. Now that you’ve allowed yourself to feel again you’ll meet the right person.”

Ben sighed. “I’ll never meet anyone like Michaela.”

Jason stood and circled around the desk to stand behind his brother’s chair. He rested his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Maybe not, but there’ll be some other woman. Who knows, it could even be Nellie’s cousin Mary,” he joked with a hearty laugh.

Ben forced a smile. “Do you like him?”

“Who?”

“Sully.”

Jason considered his response. “Yes. I have no reason not to I suppose. I’ve gotten to know him a bit since he’s been coming by the clinic lately.”

“What do you like about him?” Ben asked fidgeting with a pen on the desk.

“The usual things, I suppose,” Jason replied as he took a few moments to collect his thoughts. “He’s honest and has integrity, he’s a good father, he’s easy to be around, and anyone can see he’s madly in love with his wife.”

Ben lowered his head. “I’d have to disagree with you on the easy to be around part,” he said wryly.

Jason chuckled. “I imagine he’s different with you. Have you talked with Sully about the Indians yet?”

“No, we’re meeting at Grace’s in a few days.”

“Good. I really believe the sooner you finish your work here and head home the better for everyone,” his brother wisely advised.

“Trying to get rid of me little brother,” Ben chided with a soft smile.

“No, and I expect you to visit me again out here, but now I think it’s time you head home,” Jason suggested.

“I think you’re right.”

* * *

“What did you two do today?” Matthew asked his younger siblings. He and Brian had come to supper at the homestead and the family was seated around the supper table.

“Papa taught us baseball and I hit it far,” Katie proudly told him.

Matthew laughed. “Colleen was good at baseball too Katie. There must be somethin’ about the women in this family.”

“There sure is,” Sully agreed, his warm gaze fixed on his wife.

Michaela smiled at him. “Katie’s quite the little tomboy.”

“What’s a tomboy?” Josef asked.

“Uh,…a tomboy is…” Michaela began, glancing at her husband for help.

“A spirited little girl who likes to play and have fun and do some of the same things boys do,” Sully explained in a complimentary way.

“Like baseball and fishing,” Katie spoke up.

“Exactly like that sweetheart,” her mother replied.

“Brian, do you like baseball?” Katie asked

“Huh?” Brian replied not listening.

“Do you like baseball?” she repeated.

“I suppose,” he replied as he picked at his food.

Michaela studied Brian intently and glanced at Matthew.

Matthew shrugged his shoulders. “Ma, do ya think Katie will be a doctor since she likes science so much?” he asked as he took another bite of food.

Michaela thought for a moment. “I don’t know Matthew. Her interest seems to lie in how things work and the earth around her. Maybe she’ll be an inventor or a scientist.”

“Would you like Katie to follow in Ma’s footsteps Sully?” Matthew asked.

“Sure, but it’s important ta me that Katie follows her own heart. She can be anythin’ she wants ta be,” Sully replied as he mopped up the last of his gravy with a piece of bread.

“Katie, what do you wanna be when you grow up?” Matthew asked.

Katie thought for a moment, scrunching her face in concentration. “Umm…umm…I wanna be President.”

Sully’s head snapped around and Michaela dropped her fork. “Why would ya wanna be President, Kates?” her father asked thinking that a politician was the last thing he wanted her to be.

“Uh…because….because I could make all the rules,” she explained. “I could keep the Indians safe, save all the land and the animals, and I could eat all the candy I want.”

“You’d make a wonderful President, sweetheart,” Michaela said indulgently.

“Yeah, if it only worked that way,” Sully grumbled.

“Brian, what are you writing now?” Michaela asked concerned about his sullen mood.

“I’m researching a few things,” he vaguely replied as he moved his food around his plate with his fork. The rest of the family had finished eating while Brian hadn’t touched his plate. Michaela gave Sully a worried look.

“Matthew, why don’t we take the kids into the living room and play checkers,” Sully stated silently suggesting they leave Brian and Michaela alone to talk.

“Sure Sully,” Matthew replied getting up from his seat. He headed to the other room as Sully followed behind with the children. Matthew and Sully set up two checkerboards. Katie sat down to play with her brother and Josef with his father.

Back in the kitchen, Michaela watched her son intently while she cleared the table. “Brian, is something bothering you? You haven’t been yourself all evening,” she said placing her hand on his back.

“It’s nothing Ma. I’m okay,” he replied as he stood and walked away from her toward the window.

“Brian, I can tell you’re not all right. Please tell me what’s bothering you.”

Brian lowered his eyes to the floor. “It’s Anna.”

“What about Anna?”

“She’s not comin’,” he told her in a quiet voice.

Michaela stepped closer to him. “I’m sorry Brian. I know how much you were hoping she would visit. Do you want to visit her instead? We’d understand that,” she offered.

“No.” Brian paused a long while. “She…she ended it Ma.”

“Ended it?” Michaela moved to face her son and saw the meaning in his eyes. “Oh, I’m so sorry Brian. What happened?”

“In her letter she wrote that she knew I would rather be in Colorado and that she never wanted to leave Boston so we should stop seein’ each other. Then she told me she met someone else,” he told her then paused. “How could she have met someone else so fast? I thought she loved me, Ma,” Brian said deeply hurt.

Michaela wrapped her arms around her son. “I know this hurts, but it’s best to find out now that you’re not right for each other than after you’ve invested more time in the relationship or even gotten married.”

“This wouldn’t have happened if I stayed in Boston.”

“Perhaps not right away,” Michaela counseled, “But home is where the heart is Brian. Anna’s heart is in Boston, yours is here. Over time you would have discovered that Anna was not the right young lady for you to spend the rest of your life with.”

“Sully once told me the same thing,” Brian reflected.

“Everythin’ all right in here?” Sully interrupted from the entryway to the kitchen.

Brian swung around to face him with anger in his eyes. “This is all your fault,” he shouted and stormed out of the homestead.

Sully looked at Michaela confused. “What’d I do?”

“Brian received word from Anna. She ended their relationship.”

“Why’s he blamin’ me?” he asked incredulous, pointing at himself.

“He doesn’t really Sully. He’s angry and hurt and he needs someone to blame. I’m afraid you’re an easy target for him right now,” she explained.

“I’m gonna try ta talk ta him,” he said as he turned around and walked out of the homestead. Once outside on the porch, he sat down on the top step. He watched Brian pace back and forth in front of the house. “Ya wanna talk about it?” he offered after a while.

“Not to you,” Brian snapped.

“Then you mind at least tellin’ how this is my fault?” Sully shot back.

Brian glared at him. “This wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t leave.”

Sully sighed heavily. “Brian, I know you’re mad at me for leavin’, but I’m doin’ the best I can ta make it up to all of ya. What happened with Anna ain’t my fault,” he insisted. He looked at Brian trying to gauge whether he should continue. “You decided ta come back ta Colorado and you decided ta stay. I think if you bein’ here caused her ta end things then maybe she wasn’t the right person for ya.”

Finally Brian gave in. He slowly walked toward the porch, sat beside his father, and dropped his head despairingly into his hands. It was difficult for Sully to see Brian in so much pain, but he wasn’t sure how to comfort him without making him angry. Instead he sat beside him in silence letting him know he was there. They sat quietly for a long time before Brian felt ready to talk.

“Do ya think Ma would have stayed in Boston and married William if you didn’t come after her?” Brian asked after a long while.

Sully flinched at hearing William’s name, especially after seeing in his vision that Michaela had married him. “I’d like ta think she would’ve come back anyway, but I don’t know,” he softly said. “I’m sure glad I went, though. I couldn’t have lived with myself if I never told her how I felt about her.”

“Would you have moved to Boston if that’s where Ma wanted to live?”

“I could never live in Boston, but I don’t think I could have stayed away long if your ma was still there,” he admitted. “I’m sure glad I never had ta make that choice.” Sully turned slightly to face Brian. “Are ya thinkin’ of goin’ back ta Boston ta convince Anna you belong together?”

“No, it’s not like you and Ma back then. Anna knows how I feel,” Brian replied. “I guess I was hopin’ she would come here and wanna stay with me, but I guess she didn’t love me enough.” He hesitated another moment. “But I didn’t wanna change my whole life for her either. I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t even come for a visit or how she could have met someone else so quickly.”

“It sounds ta me like you both want different things right now. Your timin’s not right,” Sully said as he tentatively rested his hand on Brian’s back. “Don’t worry Brian, you’ll meet the right person for ya at the right time.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so,” Sully affirmed. “Take it from me, when she’s the right one you won’t ever let go. Now let’s go back in the house for dessert.”

* * *

“Ready or not, here I come,” Sully shouted from behind the rocks as he, Michaela, and the children were engaged in a game of hide-n-seek at the Red Rocks. Looking behind several large sandstone formations he found no one there. Behind the next one he spotted Josef.

“I got you,” he announced lifting the little boy high in the air and twirling him around.

Josef giggled. “Put me down, Papa,” he said wiggling his legs. “Put me down.”

Sully placed Josef on his feet. “Now I’ll close my eyes and you go hide again while I go find your ma and Katie,” he told him tousling his hair.

“Okay,” he said turning around and running to hide. Sully waited a few minutes for him to disappear.

“Ready or not, here I come,” he shouted again as he began to walk around searching behind several large formations. Suddenly he spotted a piece of Michaela’s skirt peeking out from a nearby rock. He slowly sneaked up behind her and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

“I got you,” he whispered in her ear.

Michaela laughed. “Yes you did!” She turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his waist. Holding each other close in this playful moment, they gazed into each other’s eyes. Then Sully cupped her face in his hand, leaned forward, and kissed her tenderly on the lips. Stepping back a little to gauge her reaction, he smiled when he saw passion and love reflected in her eyes. Slowly, she raised one hand and placed it on his chest. Then she brought her other hand up to gently trace his lips with her fingers. Tugging lightly on his shirt, she drew him forward to kiss her again and Sully willingly obliged. Her breath quickened as she wrapped her arms around his neck drawing him closer to deepen the kiss, savoring the sensations he was reawakening in her. The kiss transported them to another world, where all that mattered was the two of them and their undying love for each other.

Soon they were startled out of their ardor by sounds in the distance of “Papa, come find us.” They broke apart breathless. Sully lovingly caressed her cheek then slowly walked away to return to the game of hide-n-seek.

As Michaela watched him look behind the rocks for the children, she was still stirred by his kiss. She brought her finger up to gently trace her lips where Sully’s lips had just been. This was the first real kiss they shared since he came home and she didn’t want it to end. Each day he was home brought her closer to believing they could get everything back, and it was almost too perfect to imagine.

Sully found Josef then Katie and all three of them joined Michaela at Cathedral Rock. Out of breath, they sat down to rest and to marvel at the unique beauty of the Red Rocks.

“Papa, will these rocks always be here?” Katie asked sitting in her father’s lap.

“I hope so Kates.”

“You’ll save them Papa,” Josef said.

“It’s what I’m workin’ for. No place like it in the world. Least none I’d ever seen. I want it ta be here for your children and your grandchildren,” Sully told them, gently rubbing Katie’s back.

“I know Joey’s right Papa, you’ll save them, I know so,” Katie said swinging her legs back and forth.

“I know so too,” Michaela chimed in.

“I’ll try. I’ll sure try,” he said hopefully.

Katie slid off her father’s lap. “Come on, Joey. Let’s play.”

“Stay where we can see you,” Michaela told them as the children ran off to play.

“They’re sure spirited today,” Sully said edging closer to her.

“They’ll sleep well tonight, I imagine,” she replied leaning into him.

“Michaela,” he began.

“Hmm….”

“I been thinkin’,” he said slowly running his hand from her shoulder down her arm in a gentle caress.

She was distracted by his touch. “Uh…about what?”

“Have you been to Grace’s new restaurant?” he timidly asked.

“No.”

Sully turned to face her. “You haven’t?” He was surprised. “Seein’ as it’s been open months now, I figured you woulda gone.”

“There’s no one I wanted to go with except you,” she told him smoothing back his hair. “I had hoped we would go together the night of the Sweetheart’s Dance.”

He reached for her hand. “Seein’ as I missed the dance, would you like to go with me Friday night?”

“Why, Mr. Sully! Are you asking me out on a date?”

“Well, yes, I s’pose I am,” he laughed.

“Then, I’d love to.”

He raised her hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it. “And I thought we could spend the next day together, just the two of us.”

“Oh, Sully, I’d love that,” she accepted excitedly. “We could ask Brian and Matthew to watch the children. I’m sure they’ll agree,” she said squeezing his hand. “Thank you for thinking of this. I can’t wait,” she said her face beaming with delight.

“You’re welcome,” he said as he pressed his lips softly to hers. “Let’s get the kids and head home.”

* * *

“What can I get ya?” Grace asked seeing Ben anxiously sitting at the café alone.

“Just coffee,” he said tapping his pen on the table.

“I’ll be right back with the coffee,” she replied as she placed meatloaf in front of another customer.

“Grace, I’ll be sittin’ with Ben for a bit. Can ya bring me some coffee too?” Sully said as he entered the café.

“Sure thing, Sully,” she returned eyeing him apprehensively.

“Sully, glad you made it,” Ben nervously greeted. Sully nodded and sat down with a stack of papers in his hand. Ben took a deep breath before speaking. “What did you think?”

“Here ya go,” Grace said setting down two cups of coffee on the table and hurrying off to take another order.

“Thanks,” Sully replied to her retreating figure. Sully turned to look at Ben after a few awkward moments. “You really gonna teach it like this?”

Ben stared down at his hands. “I know there’s some parts I don’t have right and I’m still trying to get copies of government documents, but, yes, I had planned to teach it like that. Is something wrong?”

Sully stirred his coffee. “There’s parts ya don’t got right, but it’s good. If ya teach it like this, it might make folks angry enough ta do somethin’ about it,” he said removing the twine from the stack of papers. “Michaela and I wrote comments on some a the pages,” he explained and showed him the markings.

Ben scanned the comments and noticed several corrections to his description of the Sand Creek massacre. “Can you tell me about Sand Creek Sully?” Ben asked as he took a sip of coffee. “I know what happened from the Congressional hearings, but I don’t know everything. I’d like to hear about it from your perspective.”

Sully’s eyes darkened and he took a deep breath. “Black Kettle negotiated a peace treaty with Colonel Chivington. I was there translatin’ for ‘em. I heard the promises myself, but the government never honored any of those promises.” Sully paused to take a sip of coffee.

“Go on,” Ben urged.

“This time was one of the worst because Chivington lulled the Cheyenne into thinkin’ they were safe then attacked ‘em knowin’ where they’d be,” he said as he bit his lower lip.

“I heard Chivington received different orders when he negotiated the treaty,” Ben added.

“That’s the problem. The government can’t be trusted ‘cause they never keep their word,” Sully shot back frustrated.

“What happened when the Army got there? Published reports have told different stories.”

Sully took a deep breath before continuing. Reliving these painful memories was far more difficult than he had anticipated. “When the tribe got to Sand Creek, Black Kettle believed they were safe and he ran up the American Flag he got from President Lincoln on a large pole outside his tepee. When the Army came, Black Kettle told his people that the soldiers wouldn’t hurt them. Then the troops opened fire killin’ over 200 people, mostly woman and children. They didn’t stop at killin’ them, they…they…” he couldn’t finish as he lowered his eyes to the table.

“So, it’s true,” Ben said aghast. Sully nodded. Ben had heard rumors that the soldiers had scalped the victims, even the children, and done far more horrible things, but he didn’t want to believe it.

Sully raised his head and continued, “Despite all this, Black Kettle still fought for peace. He believed the Cheyenne could live in peace with the whites,” he said shaking his head.

“Michaela told me he was killed at Washita,” Ben said deeply disturbed by what Sully had just told him.

Sully nodded. “Washita finished what Sand Creek started,” he softly said.

“Congress found Chivington’s actions deplorable and they court-martialed him.”

“He got away with it didn’t he,” Sully said slamming his fist on the table in frustration. “They didn’t do nothin’ to ‘im for killin’ all those innocent people,” he said in disgust.

Startled, Ben cleared his throat. “Why did you become an Indian Agent given all the corruption?” he nervously asked taking another sip of coffee.

Sully inhaled deeply. “President Grant offered me the position personally. I thought I could help the Cheyenne. I didn’t know the agents were stealin’ the supplies and sellin’ ‘em off. I thought if they were forced to live on the reservation it would be good for them to have a friend on the inside, but I was wrong.”

Ben was silent for a few moments as he digested all he had learned. “I thought about what you said,” he finally said.

“What’s that?” Sully asked indifferently.

“That I won’t really get this right until I speak to the Indians directly.” Ben hesitated. “Sully, can you help me talk to some?”

“I don’t know. There’s none around here now,” he said with sorrow in his voice.

Ben nodded. “I can go up north…to Montana.”

“The tribes up there don’t trust the whites. They won’t talk ta you.”

“What about your friend Cloud Dancing?” Ben persisted.

“I don’t know. I ain’t lookin’ ta leave my family, or my wife, right now. I’ll think about it,” he replied as he stood and placed some coins on the table. “I gotta go. We got plans for supper.” Sully gave Ben a quick nod farewell and left the café.

“Thanks Sully,” he said as he watched him leave. Ben was humbled by what he had learned. He realized now that his work had the potential to be far more important than a mere college course.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“You look so beautiful tonight,” Sully whispered in Michaela’s ear when she reached the bottom of the stairs. For a moment he stood still gazing at her in the royal blue dress he had given her as a birthday present a few years back. Her hair was styled just the way he liked it with a cascade of curls down her back.

Michaela blushed slightly and reached for his hand, gently squeezing it to express her thanks.

“Mama, Papa, you look pretty,” Josef exclaimed from his seat at the table where he was doing his homework.

“Joey, Papa can’t be pretty. That’s for girls,” Katie said.

Michaela slipped her arm around Sully’s waist and looked at her children. “I think your father looks very handsome tonight too, sweethearts.”

Uncomfortable with the flattery, Sully led his wife toward the door and turned to address the children. “Now you two be good for Brian tonight,” he said to Katie and Josef.

“We will,” Katie replied.

“Have a good time,” Brian said noticing how happy his mother and Sully looked this evening.

“We will,” he said, his eyes sparkling. Closing the door to the homestead they walked hand-in-hand down the porch steps and toward the wagon. First Sully helped his wife up to her seat then he climbed up next to her, and sitting as close as possible, he steered the wagon toward town.

When they arrived at Grace’s new restaurant, they were immediately seated at a cozy table by a window in the back. It was away from the main dining room, where they could enjoy their meal in privacy. Michaela was nervous. Although she and Sully had been married for almost ten years, on this evening it felt like they were courting for the first time. It reminded her of their dinner in Boston so many years ago. Sully shared her nervousness. More than anything he wanted this night to be special for them.

Having already ordered, they sat with their hands clasped together across the table, gazing into each other’s eyes. They didn’t notice that Grace had arrived with their meals. “Now this is the Dr. Mike and Sully I remember,” Grace thought to herself as she placed the entrées in front of them.

The sudden movement startled Michaela and she looked up. “Thank you Grace.”

“Thanks,” Sully echoed.

“Now, you two behave alone back here,” Grace giggled and quickly walked away to let them enjoy this time together. They began their meals and marveled at how wonderful the food was.

“Mmm,” Sully said nodding approvingly as he tasted the food and lifted his head again to meet her eyes.

Michaela nodded too. “This is delicious,” she stated taking another bite of her meal. “You and Robert E. did an outstanding job building this new restaurant.”

“It turned out nice,” he agreed looking around.

“Did you think about our being here together when you were working on it?” she shyly asked.

A soft smile formed on his lips. “Yeah. Robert E. asked me to draw up the plan so I designed it thinkin’ ‘bout how I’d like things ta be if it was you and me eatin’ here,” he admitted. “I even put this window here in the back for us.”

“It’s perfect,” she said reaching across the table to place her hand atop his.

“It is,” he replied linking their fingers together.

They soon returned to enjoying their meals. In the silence Michaela wondered about Sully’s vision quest. She looked up from her plate to search his eyes hoping he might be ready to tell her more about his journey. Relieved to see contentment in his eyes, she began. “Sully, you haven’t told me what you’re going to do now that you’re home.”

“Do?” he asked eyes widened.

“Yes, about work.”

“Same things I guess,” he said as he took another bite of his supper.

“Does that mean you still work for the General Land Office?”

“Yep.” He continued to eat.

Michaela rested her fork across her plate and twisted the napkin in her lap. “I don’t understand. You said you had figured out what you needed to do now. But you’ve been home for almost two months and nothing’s changed.” She began to ramble, as she feared she wasn’t being clear. “It’s not that I want it to change. In fact, I was frightened you might want to move, but…but how could you need to be gone so long if nothing’s changed?”

Sully squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I’m not makin’ any big changes, Michaela, but I do see things clearer now. I know what matters ta me, and what I need ta be workin’ on. That’s you and the kids and doin’ what I can ta save the land here in Colorado. I saw in a vision that if I don’t stay workin’ for the government then no one will speak for the land and things would be worse.” He paused for a moment. “When I was with Cloud Dancin’ I could see his people had stopped listenin’ ta him and I asked him why he stayed. Know what he told me?”

“What?”

“Even if only one person listens, it will keep their song alive. It’s like what you told me when the train was comin’. I’m not gonna stop all the changes comin’ and I’m not gonna have us move all the time runnin’ away from them. They’ll only follow us. I hate what’s happenin’, but I see now I can’t stop it. But if I can preserve some of what we got here for the future, I wanna do that. So I wrote the Interior Department with some conditions on my remainin’ a surveyor and they agreed.”

“Conditions?”

“I’m gonna keep showin’ politicians the land, but only closer ta home. I’ll have a say in which businesses can come into Colorado Springs. I figure they’re gonna develop the land whether I’m involved or not so I might as well work ta keep out unsafe business. I can also suggest other places ta build so I can keep fightin’ ta protect the best places. I may not be able ta do it forever, but I’ll keep at it for now.”

Michaela had tears in her eyes. “I like what the spirits told you.”

“There’s somethin’ else. I wanna keep workin’ ta get a national park here in Colorado like they have in Yellowstone. But I see now I gotta get more people behind it if it’s ever gonna happen.”

“Oh Sully, I know you can do it. I’m so proud of you.”

“I ain’t done nothin’ yet and I’ll probably lose more than I’ll win, but I need ta learn how ta pay attention ta what I can do and not what I can’t like you always told me.” He caressed the back of her hand. “Most of the work will be closer ta home so I won’t be away as much. I thought that was important after how much I was away these past few years.”

“After I read your letter I thought a lot about how I never understood why you seemed so disappointed. I didn’t realize you thought you were failing in your efforts to protect the land. To me, as long as there was hope, you could try again.”

“You were right. Cloud Dancin’ said the same thing ta me,” he said leaning back and returning to his meal.

Michaela continued. “I better understand how you were feeling.”

“How’s that?” He asked between bites.

“Like a doctor who loses all her patients. During the war I saw talented physicians, ones like David and Doc Eli, give up practicing medicine because the constant death and destruction was too unbearable. When I lose someone it always makes me more determined to save the next. A doctor needs the satisfaction of saving a life to balance against the despair of losing one. You spent years having all your requests for preservation turned down with no success to hang on to. Now I see how hard it was when you had no success to balance against the disappointments.”

He rested his fork on his plate and reached over to lightly squeeze her hand. “That’s exactly how I felt, but I know now that ain’t right. Those doctors lost their patients and they couldn’t bring them back. I still got a chance. The land ain’t dead yet and I gotta be like you ta work harder to heal it, ta save it. That’s what I gotta focus on.” He lowered his voice. “It’s hard though and I can’t say I won’t feel like givin’ up again. But I can promise that if I ever, I ain’t gonna try ta hide it from you again.”

“And I’ll understand those feelings,” she promised as she reached across the table and grasped his other hand.

“And encourage me to try again.” He smiled at her.

“That too.” She returned the smile.

“Now I got a question for you,” he said with a serious expression on his face.

“Anything.”

“You gonna keep Jason on at the clinic?”

“I’d like to. Why? Don’t you like him?” Michaela asked worriedly.

“I like ‘im fine. I just need ta know if all this free time you’ve had since I been back is gonna disappear,” he said immediately regretting the edge to his voice.

Michaela gently stroked his hand and looked into his eyes. “No, it’s not going to disappear. I could see what my hours were doing to our family and I was going to make these changes before you left. I was going to surprise you. If it’s all right with you, I’d like to make my arrangement with Jason permanent. If he doesn’t want to stay on I’ll find someone else. I don’t ever want us to go though another period like this again.”

“Me neither.”

“Sully, I think we both lost sight of what was truly important. Our bond was always so strong that when other things started to pull us in different directions I think we took it for granted.”

“You were the only thing I could count on when everythin’ else was spinnin’ out of control. I kept tryin’ ta do somethin’ about what was happenin’ ta the Indians and the land, but in doin’ that I neglected you. I’m so sorry Michaela.”

“And I’m sorry I let work take over my life. The more you were gone, the more I threw myself into my work. I didn’t think you wanted me and I used the clinic to fill that void. Then with the town growing and all the changes in medicine it was easy to get out of balance. It’s always been hard for me to admit that I can’t do everything.”

“You’re tellin’ me!” Sully cut in.

“Please Sully, let me finish. Deciding to take a partner wasn’t an easy decision. I was afraid I would lose a part of myself if I shared my practice with someone. Instead, I almost lost you.”

“No you didn’t,” he pledged. “But I missed ya. It hurt when you never had any time ta spend with me. I started ta think you didn’t need me in your life anymore. That you were movin’ on.”

Michaela looked down at the table. “I thought you were getting restless being tied down and you wanted your freedom. I often stayed busy to avoid having to face that you might not be happy.”

They sat silently letting one another’s words sink in. So much was coming out, so much that needed to be said.

Sully sighed heavily in reflection. “I guess both of us had things in our heads that we shoulda talked about before they got so out a hand,” Sully remarked. “Let’s promise we’ll keep spendin’ time together like we’ve been doin’. I’m gonna have ta get back ta work soon, and I know you’ll have emergencies at the clinic, but we have ta make time for us, no matter what.”

“I promise.”

“Good. Now you gonna finish eatin’? With us talkin’ you hardly touched your plate.”

“No, I’m done. It was delicious, but filling. Besides, I’m ready to head home now,” Michaela replied.

“Good, ‘cause I got somethin’ I wanna give ya.” Sully stood and circled the table to pull out the chair for her. Reaching for her hand, he drew Michaela to her feet.

* * *

Hand-in-hand, Michaela and Sully walked up the porch steps. They paused at the front door to gaze adoringly at each other for a long moment then Sully opened the door. They entered the homestead and saw Brian seated in a chair reading.

Brian looked up when his parents entered the house. “Did you have a good time?” he asked, though it was obvious they did just by looking at them.

“Yes, wonderful,” Michaela responded. “Were the children good for you?”

“Yeah, but Joey found a million excuses for not goin’ ta bed.”

“He doesn’t want to miss anything,” she explained as Sully helped her remove her coat.

“Kinda reminds me of another little boy I remember,” Sully teased.

Brian closed his book and got up from the chair. “I best be getting back to Matthew’s.”

“Brian, it’s late. Why don’t you stay here tonight,” Sully suggested. “You can sleep in your old room.”

“You sure?” Brian asked surprised then he glanced at his mother.

Michaela tensed and looked away.

Sully glanced at his wife, aware of her uncertainties, and turned again to Brian. “I’m sure. Go on upstairs,” he said eyeing Michaela carefully. He could sense her anxiety.

“Goodnight Ma, Sully,” Brian said as he headed upstairs.

“G’night Brian. I’ll be up in a minute. I gotta get somethin’ outta the room.”

“Goodnight Brian,” she returned.

Sully walked toward Michaela. “I’ll sleep down here tonight,” he whispered.

“Brian could have slept down here.”

“But I had ta get you alone so I could give you your Christmas present.”

“Christmas present? In March?”

“Well, I wasn’t here in December and I’ve been savin’ it,” he said taking her hand and leading her to the fireplace. Michaela took a seat in the chair in front of the fire. “I’ll be right back.” Sully disappeared upstairs to retrieve the present.

Michaela felt confused by her emotions. She stared into the glowing flames thinking about how much she longed to have Sully hold her and wake up next to her in the morning. At the same time she knew she wasn’t ready to resume their intimacy. She needed more time before she could give herself to him fully.

Sully returned with his gift and knelt down in front of her on the rug. “I made you this for Christmas when I was stuck in the cabin. Now seemed like the right time to give it to ya,” he said handing her the package.

Michaela smiled at him and looked down to unwrap the brown paper, unveiling an exquisite hand-carved jewelry box. Etched into the top of the box was a heart with two hawks inside. She lightly ran her fingers over the intricate design. “Sully, it’s so beautiful – the heart, the hawks. Thank you,” she said deeply moved.

“Open it.”

She slowly lifted the lid and noticed that Sully had lined the inside of the box with black velvet. There were wooden dividers to organize her jewelry. “This must have taken you a long time,” she said impressed with the fine craftsmanship.

“Like I told ya, I had a lot of time on my hands,” he modestly replied.

Michaela reached out to stroke his hair. Grabbing her hand, he brought it tenderly to his lips, first kissing its back then kissing each finger in a slow sensuous motion. Michaela edged forward in the chair to wrap her arms around his neck. He raised his head and his lips met hers for a soft kiss. Quickly their passions ignited and their mouths explored one another as if for the first time. Michaela gradually moved her hand to his chest and slid her hand inside the material of his shirt to feel the warmth of his bare chest. Slowly Sully began to unbutton the first few buttons of her dress. Then he moved his lips from her mouth, trailing soft kisses down her neck and throat. She moaned, breathless, and slowly pulled back. Tracing his swollen lips with her fingers, she tried to catch her breath.

“I have a present for you too,” she said.

Sully looked up at her, his breath coming quick. He watched as she rose and walked toward the cupboard, tying to hide his disappointment at their not continuing. At the same time he knew one of them had to stop before there was no turning back. Still, it was wonderful to be in her arms again, kissing her, smelling her hair, her skin. “Everything is falling back into place,” he thought, “I just have to be patient.”

“This was your Christmas present,” she said as she handed him the package.

Sully looked up at her. “You got me somethin’ even after I left?”

“Yes, I still hoped you’d…I mean, we always spent Christmas together. Even before we were courting. I couldn’t stop thinking about those times together. When you didn’t come home I really believed you might not be back.”

He looked at her and reached for her hand. “I thought about you and how I should be here and not in some cabin in the woods.”

“You’re here now. That’s all that matters,” she said caressing his arm.

Sully’s curiosity couldn’t hold. He tore open the wrapping and revealed a beautifully framed picture of Black Kettle and Cloud Dancing. He gasped in surprise. “It’s beautiful! Where’d you get it?” he asked as he gently ran his fingers across the features of the Cheyenne Chief.

“I thought we should have something in our home to honor your Cheyenne family. They’re the closest you have to family before our own. So I contacted Mr. Watkins to see if he had any pictures of them from when he was here and he sent me this picture of Black Kettle and Cloud Dancing.”

“I remember takin’ this picture with ‘im, but I never saw it,” Sully said unable to take his eyes off the photograph.

“I had it framed. I hoped you’d like it.”

Sully was deeply moved. “It’s perfect Michaela, especially after seein’ what’s happenin’ ta them up north. This’ll remind us of how it was when they were livin’ free,” he said as he brought her into a tight embrace. He eased her off the chair and onto the floor beside him as his lips met hers for a loving kiss. When they broke apart, they sat together on the rug holding each other and staring into the fire, content with just being together. After a while he continued. “Cloud Dancin’ and Black Kettle saved my life once when I was lost and this time they showed me where I belong,” he softly said as he ran his hand up and down her arm.

“What do you mean?”

“Cloud Dancin’ told me I stopped listenin’ and I was runnin’ away. He told me you and the kids needed me and that I should go home and let you help me,” he revealed.

“I wish you had.”

“I should have.”

“How did Black Kettle help you this time?”

Sully put his arm around her and drew her close. “When I was on the vision quest, it was his Spirit who came to help me find my way again. He showed me some of the good things I done. He showed me that I could still make a difference.”

“Sully, did he tell you what a difference you already made to the Cheyenne,” she perceived.

“How’d ya know?”

“Because you have, whether you believe so or not, and Black Kettle would want you to know that just as I do.”

He tightened his hold on her and kissed her cheek. “Don’t ya see? This picture is even more important now. It’s like you could see my heart and you knew what I needed. Thank you.”

Touched, she turned her head and pressed her lips to his. “You’re welcome.” They continued to sit staring into the fire, each contemplating how it was that Michaela came to give Sully this picture, taken over twelve years ago, at precisely the time in his life when he needed it most.

After a long while he turned her face toward him. “It’s gettin’ late. You should go upstairs. We have another big day tomorrow ya know.”

“I can’t wait.”

They both stood and Sully walked Michaela to the staircase. As she started to ascend, he touched her arm. She turned and he gently leaned forward to kiss her goodnight. “See ya in the mornin’,” he said as he watched her walk up the stairs to their bedroom.

It saddened him that Michaela was uncomfortable with the idea of sharing a bed with him again. He longed to hold her and touch her, but she wasn’t ready. Sully didn’t even know if he was ready. He remembered times last year feeling hurt and resentful when he thought making love would bring them closer and fix what was wrong between them. Instead it only made him feel more alone. They both had endured so much rejection by the other recently that it would be better to continue to take things slowly. Sully curled up on the quilt facing the fire, confident they would both know when the time was right.

* * *

Having no idea where they were headed, Michaela mounted her horse and followed behind Sully as they rode in silence, each thankful to be back together like this again. He led them to a valley to enjoy a walk in the woods and perhaps the sight of deer or elk venturing out after the long, cold winter. They walked in companionable silence reveling in the beauty of the mountains. As they strolled leisurely hand-in-hand beside a stream, neither of them could remember the last time they felt this at peace and content. All of a sudden Sully turned to her holding one finger to his lips for silence, and he pointed to a nearby thicket. A doe and her fawn were grazing undisturbed, the fawn nuzzled up to his mother.

“It should always be like this for them,” he whispered.

She nodded in agreement in awe of the beauty before her.

Taking her hand, he led her back toward the horses to collect a blanket. “Ya hungry?” he asked as he spread out the blanket in a sunny spot with a beautiful view of the mountains.

“A little,” she admitted as she carried the picnic basket to the blanket. They both sat down and silently ate lunch enjoying the beauty around them. “Is everything all right? You’re awfully quiet,” she observed and took a bite out of an apple.

“I was just thinkin’,” he said as he gazed out at the mountains.

“About what?” she gently prodded, searching his eyes.

“Actually I was wonderin’ somethin’,” he stalled as he finished his lunch.

“You know you can ask me anything,” she said echoing his words from a few nights ago.

Sully smiled and leaned back on the blanket, resting on his elbow facing Michaela. “Would ya work with me on the national park?”

“Me? What can I do? I don’t know anything about creating a national park.”

“You’ve done lots of things you didn’t know nothin’ ‘bout before,” he reminded her.

She searched her husband’s face and saw something different in his eyes. “Sully, what’s this really about?”

He lay back on the blanket, staring up at the sky. “I don’t know. I miss us doin’ things together. Things that make a difference, like when we stopped that minin’ company from dumping mercury in the water and when we helped at the reservation.”

“We made such a good team,” she reflected as she looked at her husband.

He rolled over to look at his wife again, finally feeling safe enough to open up to her. “Us workin’ together and standin’ up for what’s right is one a the things I miss most. I feel like we have separate lives now. You have your doctorin’ and I have the land. We have the kids, but nothin’ else connects us anymore.”

Michaela inhaled deeply. “I thought you wanted it that way.”

Sully sat up. “What do ya mean?”

“Well…you…you kept secrets from me,” she nervously replied. “And you went off on your own more and more.” Sully just listened, knowing she was right. “It started with the dam, then the uprising at the reservation, and when we went to Mexico to rescue Katie. It kept getting worse. We stopped making decisions together and you chose to do things on your own without consulting me first.”

Sully lowered his eyes to the blanket. “I think I was tryin’ ta protect you, especially after we had Katie and maybe even more after Josef. When I was up north I thought about my best memories of us fallin’ in love, and they always involved us workin’ together. I realized how much I missed that.” He lay back down and rested his head in her lap.

She gently brushed the hair from his face. “It was the same for me. When I replayed in my mind what brought us together it was all those same things – the mercury poisoning, freeing Cloud Dancing from Custer, and warning the Indians of what the Army was planning,” she revealed.

“You haven’t answered my question. Will ya work with me on this?”

“Of course, I’ll do what I can.”

“Good. I been thinkin’. It’s gonna take a long time and we might not even be here when it’s done, but we can start and hope others pick up after us.”

“Where do we start?”

“We’re gonna have ta build support in Colorado first and then convince some a the politicians in Washington. It might be a good idea to visit Yellowstone and see it for ourselves.”

“And I can contact Rebecca. Her charity work brings her in contract with many philanthropists. Surely, there’s one interested in land preservation,” she said quickly forming ideas in her mind. “We should also write other conservationists. Perhaps if we all work together we can accomplish more.”

Sully chuckled lightly. “I’m enjoyin’ this already,” he said as he sat up with a playful smile on his face. “Now close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. Please.” When he was sure Michaela’s eyes were closed, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box and placed it in her hand.

“Happy Birthday,” he said placing a soft kiss on her lips.

Michaela opened her eyes. “Sully,” she exclaimed staring at the box.

“It’s your birthday present. I had it for you then, but I wasn’t ready to give it to you,” he quietly admitted. “Open it.”

Michaela opened the package and stared down at a small velvet box. She looked up at Sully as she lifted the top of the box and revealed a gold heart-shaped locket. Underneath the locket were two small pictures to put inside, one of Katie and the other of Josef. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured.

“I got it after I got back. I had Loren special order it. I knew it was perfect for you,” he told her. “Open the locket.”

She opened it and engraved inside were the words “To my heartsong, love S.”

“Oh, Sully, thank you,” she said as she reached up to kiss him. The kiss was long and passionate, reaffirming their love for each other. When they broke apart, Sully gently maneuvered her to sit between his legs with her back to him so he could fasten the chain. Taking the locket from her, he first placed the pictures inside then lifted her hair and kissed her neck before fastening the locket. Michaela turned to face him and cupped his face in her hands as she drew him closer for a loving prolonged kiss. As they continued to kiss, he reached for the clasp holding her hair up, removed it, and placed it aside. They broke apart and Sully pulled her close, entwining his fingers in her hair as it flowed down her back. Michaela lightly trailed soft kisses down his neck. Out of the corner of his eye he suddenly noticed the clasp’s Cheyenne markings. His hands stilled and he picked it up to examine it more closely.

Michaela continued to caress his back and kiss his neck when she noticed his hands were still. “Sully, don’t stop,” she said breathlessly as she tried to draw him near.

Sully didn’t move. “Is this new? I’ve never seen it before.”

She glanced down at the clasp, but thought nothing of it. “It was a Christmas present,” she murmured running her hands over his chest, trying to continue their embrace.

“From who?” he asked as he admired the fine workmanship and the Cheyenne symbols.

She sat back and caught her breath. Then she realized Sully’s confusion and tried to explain. “Please don’t get the wrong idea,” she started to explain. “Ben gave it to me for Christmas to thank me for helping him with his research.”

“This…this is from Ben,” he stammered as he felt the air around him evaporate.

“It’s not what you think,” she responded flustered.

“He’s in love with you Michaela. Don’t you know what these mean?” he asked pointing at the symbols and finding it difficult to breath.

She shook her head no, frightened by the tone of his voice.

“What are you doin’ wearin’ it today?”

“I liked it. That’s all,” she simply defended. “Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Maybe he meant more ta you than you’re sayin’,” he accused as he continued to stare at the clasp.

“Sully, he’s only a friend.” She was starting to panic from Sully’s reaction.

“This ain’t from just a friend,” he retorted. “Do you know what these symbols mean?” he asked again pointing to the clasp. Then he answered his own question. “This here’s friendship, this one pledges devotion, and this one…this one is love,” he choked out in anger.

Michaela swallowed hard in shock at hearing this. If she had only known.”

“What do you expect me ta think when I see it on ya?” he asked as he moved away from her.

“I expect you to trust me,” she replied, tears threatening.

“There’s somethin’ you ain’t tellin’ me.” Sully stood and dropped the clasp back down to the blanket. He clenched his jaw in frustration. “What exactly happened between you and Ben? I wanna know.”

“Nothing happened Sully!” She stood and approached him apprehensively. “Why are you doing this now? I thought you understood that we were friends! That nothing else happened between us.”

He turned from her to hide the doubt in his eyes. “But somethin’ did happen Michaela. I saw it in your face when I told you what those symbols meant. You knew.”

“No Sully!” She desperately turned him to face her. “I didn’t let anything go further than friendship.”

“In here ya did,” he replied pointing to her heart.

Michaela was speechless, shocked and hurt at Sully’s words. When she failed to respond he walked off without a word.

“Sully, please don’t leave,” she called after him. “Let’s talk about this! I’ll get rid of the clasp if that’s what you want. Please!” she pleaded.

Feeling incredibly hurt and betrayed, he kept walking away.

Michaela watched his retreating figure from her spot on the blanket. Tears rolled down her face. Staring off in the distance, she was angry and hurt that he didn’t trust her. She decided to remain at the clearing hoping that after Sully cooled off, he would return and they could clear up this misunderstanding. They had shared so much over the past several days and even opened up to each other in new ways. Yet it amazed her how simple things could so easily set them back. Sadly she realized they still had a long way to go to rebuild the faith and trust that formed the foundation of their bond.

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