- part 33
Monday morning dawned and thus began a week Michaela soon wanted to forget. More people were coming down with the stomach virus and Michaela was being run ragged trying to keep up with them. She was thankful she had a good supply of the medicines she needed but even the best supply would be depleted sooner or later with constant use.

Tuesday the wagon from the Chateau clattered to a stop in front of the clinic bearing an ill guest whom Preston insisted Michaela keep at the clinic. "I cannot have my well guests exposed to such sickness!" he declared in a loud voice. "Speaking of which, Michaela -- ah, excuse me, ‘Dr. Quinn’" here he gave a little bow, "when did you say you would be out to my clinic to attend to my guests? You’ve been quite lax in your duty!"

Michaela, who was busy trying to make her new patient comfortable snapped, "If they’re so ‘well’, they’re hardly in need of my services, are they?" Then, not wishing to make trouble for Andrew or, for that matter, Sully, she added, "I will be out this afternoon as soon as I’ve seen to my patients here".

"See that you are!" Preston said commandingly, and he stomped out of the clinic.

But Tuesday passed and Michaela was unable to leave her many patients to make the trip to the Chateau. On Wednesday, Dorothy was sent home with orders to rest as much as possible and Michaela reminded herself to stop by and check on her. She was just about to close up the clinic and head out to the Chateau when Brian stumbled in. "I don’t feel so good, Ma" he moaned, holding his stomach. "My head hurts and I think I’m gonna be sick!"

"Oh, Brian" Michaela helped him up onto her examining table. "I should have known this would happen with Katie sick, and Roberta brought Sam and Bonnie in just yesterday". She dosed Brian with medicine and made him as comfortable as possible on the cot in the examining room, with a basin ‘just in case’. Not wanting to leave him alone for a long period of time, she dispensed with her plans for a visit to the Chateau and settled herself at the desk to update her patient records. Brian had been her only new patient today and most of the others had gone home, so she had hopes that the virus had nearly run its course in town and things would settle down soon. She’d get out to the Chateau tomorrow, or Friday at the latest.

She had hardly seen Sully all this week. He’d been sleeping at the work site and she’d been staying at the clinic. He’d stopped by a few times and they’d managed a few meals together when they could. She’d been taking her meals at Grace’s and while there usually spent time visiting Katie and Gordon. She’d been hoping to bring them back to the clinic to stay with her, but with a sick Brian there she decided to wait another day or two.

After checking on her patients and making sure Brian knew she’d be nearby, she walked over for a lonely supper at Grace’s. It shouldn’t have been lonely with the fully-recovered Katie’s lively chatter and Gordon’s babbling keeping her company. But she wished Sully had come in to have supper with her tonight. It seemed their schedules hardly ever meshed. She hoped he was eating.

During a break in the suppertime bustle, Grace sat with her for awhile. "You all right, Michaela?" she asked softly, peering into her face with concern. "Don’t you go gettin’ sick, now".

Michaela shook her head. "No, I feel fine. I’m just a little ... overwhelmed, I guess."

"You’ve had a lot on your mind" Grace said understandingly.

"Grace, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your taking care of Katie and Gordon through all this".

"Don’t even mention it. It’s kinda nice havin’ little ones around the place" Grace said wistfully.

Michaela felt a pang of guilt and sorrow. If any two people deserved children they were Robert E and Grace. But things don’t always work out the way it seemed as if they should. Sighing, she rose from the table, picking up Gordon and beckoning to Katie. "I’ll just take these two back to your place and get them settled for the night".

"Robert E should be there" Grace acknowledged. "An’ I’ll be along soon’s I get things squared away here. My girls will finish up with supper".

Brian was asleep when Michaela returned to the clinic. Her other patients seemed to be resting comfortably so Michaela settled herself at her desk with some reading. But her eyes kept wanting to close so finally she decided to give in. Brian was occupying the cot on which she’d been sleeping so she rolled herself up in a blanket on the floor to be near him. It wasn’t the first time she’d slept on a hard surface and she thought about the various floors, lean-tos and places in the woods where she and Sully had spent the night together since they’d known each other. These mostly pleasant recollections lulled her to sleep.

Thursday morning she was awakened by a loud banging on the door, accompanied by the frenzied ringing of the bell. She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and hurried to answer the door before her patients were awakened. A glance at the clock told her she’d slept much later than she’d intended. She opened the door to find Loren standing there.

"Loren? Are you feeling all right? I know you’ve been exposed ..."

"No, it ain’t me" Loren said impatiently, "it’s Dorothy!"

"Oh dear. Has she had a relapse?"

"What’s that?" Loren asked suspiciously.

"Is she ill again?" Michaela explained.

"No ... not exactly ..."

"Then what’s the trouble?"

"Well ... she seems better but she’s just mopin’ around all the time. She stays in bed real late, she don’t eat much, she cries a lot ..."

"It’s normal to take awhile to recover from this illness. I did tell her to get as much rest as possible".

"Yeah, but I think it’s more than that. She’s been sick before an’ she always bounces right back. I think not havin’ the paper to bounce back to is what’s makin’ her sick!"

Michaela, who know a little of Dorothy’s problems with Preston, asked, "So she definitely decided to quit printing the ‘Eagle’?"

"No one’s buyin’ it!" Loren said. "No one except you an’ Grace an’ Roberta. An’ me" he admitted. "Ya can’t keep printin’ a paper that don’t sell and Preston’s the one sellin’ all the papers!"

"It sounds as if Dorothy may be becoming depressed" Michaela said.

"Ya mean like Horace was that time?" Loren’s eyes widened in horror.

"I’m sure it’s not that bad" Michaela reassured him. "I think it might be best if we ..."

She was interrupted when Hank burst into the clinic, pushing two of his girls in front of him. "These girls need doctorin’" he said without preamble.

Michaela drew herself up. "It is customary to ring first and then wait to be admitted" she said.

"Yeah, Hank, an’ I was here first!" Loren declared.

"Ya don’t look sick ta me" Hank observed.

"It ain’t me, it’s Dorothy!"

"Thought she was better -- or didn’t the good doctor do such a good job o’ treatin’ her?" Hank grinned saucily in Michaela’s direction.

Loren began to describe Dorothy’s languor and possible depression but Hank interrupted him impatiently. "She ain’t throwin’ up on your customers, is she, Loren?" Loren looked suitably taken aback and Hank turned to Michaela. "I need ya ta give them somethin’ ta settle their stomachs" he demanded. "I don’t need ta lose any more business!" He gave the girls a look and said, "Go on. Let the doc take a look at ya". The girls scuttled forward and Michaela gently examined them, talking to them all the while to put them at ease.

"They have it, all right" she said at last. Seeing Hank’s puzzled look she said, "The virus".

"I already know that" Hank said. "What I wanna know is what are ya gonna do about it? The Nugget is full up this week an’ I need ‘em workin’!

Michaela went to get the bottle of paregoric. "I’ll give them a dose of medicine now, and then some to take with you with instructions for the dosage."

"So they can go back to work this afternoon?" Hank prompted.

"Don’t be ridiculous" Michaela retorted. "They need bed rest for at least two days!"

"They can stay in bed" Hank rejoined, "just so it don’t keep ‘em from workin’!"

Michaela’s lips thinned. "I don’t consider that kind of activity in bed very restful" she said tartly.

"Don’t ya, Michaela?" Hank said with a laugh. "Didn’t know Sully had it in him!"

Michaela, red-faced, wheeled and placed the bottle of medicine in Hank’s hand. "Complete bed rest" she enunciated carefully.

Hank sobered and said, "I’m losin’ money every day those girls don’t work. Unless ya wanna pay me for their lost time, ya best come up with somethin’ that’ll cure ‘em a lot quicker ‘n two days!"

Loren was growing impatient and plucked at Michaela’s sleeve. "I gotta get back ta the store" he cried, "What’re ya gonna do ‘bout Dorothy?"

Just then the door burst open and an imperious voice cried, "So here you are. I thought perhaps some dire circumstance had prevented you from visiting my clinic Tuesday afternoon!"

"Aw, Preston,"Loren protested, "We were here first!"

"Yeah, wait your turn" Hank drawled.

Everyone began talking at once and the commotion woke Brian who called feebly, "Ma? Ma!"

Michaela hurried to his side, saying over her shoulder, "I’ll thank you all to be quiet. This is a medical facility and I have sick patients here who need rest!" She gave Brian some medicine and water and promised to bring him some soup, later, if he felt up to it. "Why don’t you go on up to the middle recovery room" she suggested. "I think there are some books up there you might like if you don’t feel like sleeping. I’ll bring you some tea as soon as I can"

She got Brian started on his way upstairs and turned to see that Jake had entered the fray and was confronting Preston. "What d’ya mean, ‘no’? Ya can’t just buy up all the fireworks to be had for miles around and then say only your guests can come ta see ‘em! What’s the rest of the town supposed ta do?"

"That’s really not my concern" Preston said smugly.

Michaela paused and put a hand to her forehead, closing her eyes for a moment. "Gentlemen," she said quietly, "I hardly think this is the place ..."

"You’re on the council, Dr. Mike!" Jake cried, "Tell Preston he can’t keep all the fireworks for himself!"

"Aw, who cares about fireworks," Loren whined, "I want ya ta tell me what we can do about Dorothy!"

Hank renewed his demands for a quick cure for his girls. There was a sound of crying children and an astonished Grace, with a wailing Gordon in her arms and a crying Katie in tow, walked in the open door of the clinic and looked around incredulously. She caught Michaela’s eye and said, "I’m sorry if this ain’t a good time, Michaela. Gordon was up fussin’ all night, an’ then on the way over here, Katie ..."

"I fall, Mama, I fall!" Katie cried, lifting her skirt to display a scraped knee. "Hurts!"

"Will someone keep those kids quiet!" Jake said through clenched teeth. "I’m tryin’ ta get somethin’ settled here!"

"Dr. Mike!" Loren demanded.

"Dr. Quinn, I must insist you attend to my clinic right away" Preston demanded. "I would hate to have to penalize Andrew due to your negligence ..."

"About them fireworks ..." Jake said, shaking a finger in Preston’s face.

Michaela closed her eyes and felt the room whirling around her. "Shut up!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Shut up, all of you!" Sudden quiet descended on the room as all turned to look at her in astonishment. Michaela looked from one to the other and with a sudden cry she turned and ran through the door that led upstairs, slamming it behind her. They heard her feet pounding on the stairs then another door slamming above them.

- part 34
"Michaela? Michaela?" Grace spoke softly outside the recovery room door. "It’s all right. You can come out, now. I made them all leave!"

There was silence and then she could barely hear Michaela say, "I’m not coming out!"

Grace didn’t know what to make of this. She was still holding Gordon who was getting fussy again and Katie was starting to whine for attention. "Miss Grace?" A pale Brian emerged from the adjoining recovery room. "Miss Grace, is somethin’ wrong?"

"Brine!" Katie cried and ran to him. Lifting her skirt and pointing she exclaimed, "My knee hurts. I fell. Mama’s in that room and won’t come out. Gordon’s hungry. Who will fix it?" she asked, giving an exaggerated shrug of her little shoulders.

Brian bent to hug Katie and to give her knee the proper sympathetic attention, then looked to Grace for an explanation.

"I guess it just got ta be too much for your Ma" she explained. "Everybody was downstairs and everyone was yellin’! Once she sees everyone is gone and it’s quiet again, she’ll be out".

From inside the room, Michaela’s voice came again, "I’m not coming out. Not now. Maybe not ever." Brian and Grace exchanged worried glances as Michaela went on, "I’m tired of sick people. I’m tired of whiny children. I’m tired of cold husbands and I’m tired of Preston! I’m tired of everything!" Her words dissolved into sobs.

Grace bit her lip and held Gordon a little tighter. "Brian" she said at last, "you go on back ta bed. I’ll take Katie and Gordon back over ta the cafe an’ feed ‘em lunch an’ I’ll get someone ta ride out an’ get Sully. Go on, now. Don’t want you gettin’ sicker!" Katie was loath to part with Brian but he bent and whispered in her ear and she reluctantly let go of him and walked over to Grace.

"Cookie?" she said, looking up at Grace innocently. Grace flashed a quick look at Brian who shrugged helplessly. Shaking her head, Grace led Katie toward the stairs.

When Grace got back to the cafe, she saw that most of the folks who had been gathered in the clinic were now gathered there and were awaiting a report. Apparently they had spread the word because the group had been augmented by a number of people and there was an excited buzz of conversation as she entered the cafe. Pressing her lips together she made as if to breeze right past them but hands waved and voices cried out to her. "Is it true Dr. Mike has the ... the hysterics?" Horace asked in a voice of awe.

"Aw, that’s not what I said, Horace" Loren growled with a guilty look at Grace. "I just said she sounded hysterical!"

"Did she really shut herself up in a room at the clinic?" one woman cried out. "Is she gonna jump?" another person called hopefully. Soon the excited babble of conversation rose once more to a crescendo as the people compared notes, drew conclusions and told each other what they ‘knew’ about what had gone on at the clinic.

Grace was just about to do a little yelling of her own when a voice at her elbow said, "What can I do to help?"

"Oh, Roberta! Thank God you’re here" Grace said gratefully. "Could you take care o’ the children this afternoon? They need ta be fed an’ see if ya can get ‘em ta nap".

"Of course" Roberta said, taking Gordon from Grace’s arms. "I’ll take them back to our homestead. I’ve got some ‘emergency’ bottles there and some infant food there for the twins that’ll do for Gordon" She reached out a hand to Katie, "You’d like to come back to our house and play with Bonnie, wouldn’t you?"

Katie, who had been looking around uncertainly, fingers firmly crammed in her mouth, nodded and reached out her other hand to Roberta. "Cookie?" she asked hopefully in a wavering voice.

"Just made some this morning" Roberta promised. Then in an undertone she said to Grace, "Is Michaela going to be all right?"

"I don’t know" Grace said honestly and Roberta nodded, hurrying away with her charges.

"I’ll keep them as long as need be" she said over her shoulder.

Thankful that at least the children were taken care of, Grace turned and faced the crowd. "Now, Dr. Mike’s been under a lotta pressure lately an’ she just needs some time ta rest. The best thing you all can do is ta go about your business an’ let her get that rest".

"What if someone gets sick?" a voice from the crowd asked.

"We ... we’ll make arrangements ta see that they get taken care of" Grace promised. "Now everybody, if ya ain’t gonna eat, it’s time ta clear outta here".

Reluctantly and with much grumbling, the crowd dispersed, leaving Hank, Loren, Jake and Preston remaining in the cafe. Hank reached out and touched Grace’s arm, saying, "What’s really goin’ on, Grace?"

Grace looked down at where his hand was touching her, then back at him ready to make a retort. Surprised by the sincere look of concern on his face, she instead admitted, "She’s locked herself in one o’ the recovery rooms upstairs. Says she ain’t comin’ out."

Hank rose immediately. "I’ll go ride out an’ get Sully".

"Ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you" Preston said. All eyes turned to him and he went on pompously, "Sully is much too busy building my homestead to be brought back to town in the middle of a working day just at the whim of an hysterical woman!"

Hank bent, looking Preston in the eye and enunciated carefully, "Shut -- up -- Preston!", then turned to leave the cafe.

Preston looked taken aback but then recovered himself enough to say, "Fine. Go get him. Just don’t blame me when the judge comes back and finds Sully had been slacking off and decides to sentence him to hang after all. The whole family is a bunch of slackers. Dr. Quinn hasn’t shown her face at my clinic all week, Sully isn’t ..." he looked up to find Grace standing over him, eyes shooting sparks.

"The man said ‘shut up’" she advised him.

Preston looked as if he were about to retort, then, thinking better of it, he rose and strode away.

"Is Dr. Mike gonna be okay?" Loren wanted to know.

"She’s crazy!" Jake commented. "Always knew she was close ta th’ edge, but she’s gone over it now. She ought ta be put away". A look from Grace silenced him.

To Loren Grace said, "Hank’s gone ta get Sully which is the best thing anyone could do for her right now. Then we’ll just have ta wait an’ see".

"Well ..." Loren said, "I guess I could go tell Dorothy what’s goin’ on. Maybe if she gets worried for Dr. Mike it’ll snap her outta mopin’ over that fool paper". He, too, rose to leave. "C’mon, Jake. Grace has work ta do and you’re gonna be needed over at th’ Nugget with Hank gone".

Grace watched them leave, then murmuring a prayer for her dear friend, she went to oversee the meal preparations.

Hank galloped swiftly and soon reached the site of Preston’s homestead. He couldn’t see what Preston was complaining about. The house was beautiful and looked to be almost done. He walked around it, admiring Sully’s handiwork until he found Sully around back, up on a ladder, slapping paint vigorously on the boards of the house. "Looks real good, Sully" Hank said, looking up at him.

"What d’ ya want, Hank?" Sully asked, never breaking the rhythm of his painting.

"Need ya ta come back ta town" Hank informed him. "There’s kinda an emergency".

"What sorta ‘emergency’?" Sully asked skeptically, still painting.

Hank, chafing a little at being semi-ignored, said, "Well, if ya’d come down here for a moment I could tell ya. Don’t fancy talkin’ ta the bottom of a man’s shoes!"

Sully stopped painting and looked down at him. "I’m real busy, Hank" he began.

"That’s obvious" Hank said sarcastically. "Too busy ta see what’s been goin’ on right under your nose".

"You gonna tell me what the problem is, Hank?" Sully asked with exaggerated patience.

"Problem? Did I say there was a problem? There’s no problem. ‘ fact, it’s probably nothin’ unusual, now I think about it. Michaela’s just gone and locked herself in one o’ th’ rooms at the clinic. Refusin’ ta come out" Hank informed him.

This, at last, got Sully’s attention. He was down the ladder in three hops. "What happened?" he demanded of Hank.

Hank shrugged. "Buncha us was all at the clinic demandin’ attention" he explained. "Everyone was talkin’ at once and she finally told us all ta shut up an’ ran upstairs". He shook his head, remembering. "Boy, do I love it when she gets all fired up like that ..."

Sully was not amused and quickly began cleaning up the worksite. "Someone with her?" he asked as he worked.

"Dunno" Hank said, grinning. "Grace chased us all outa there". He paused to light a cigar. "Y’ know, anyone coulda seen this comin’, they had their eyes open".

"What’s that s’posed ta mean?"

"Well, it’s pretty obvious Michaela’s overwhelmed and overworked. Everyone’s been makin’ demands on her -- her friends, her patients --- her family" he said meaningfully. "She’s been spendin’ a lotta time givin’ out, but she ain’t been gettin’ much back lately" Hank grinned and winked, "Now, has she, Sully?"

Sully ignored him while he put away his tools and supplies.

"Well," Hank said, unable to get a rise out of Sully, "guess I best be headin’ back ta town. Can I tell ‘em you’re comin’?"

"I’ll be along" Sully said. "An’ Hank?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks".

Hank nodded, threw his cigar stub aside, mounted his horse and rode off.

- part 35
Michaela sat on the bed in the recovery room, her breathing rapid and shallow. She told herself she was safe here. It was out there that all the trouble was. If she could just stay here for awhile, maybe it would all go away. All the sick people. Preston with his incessant demands. The children -- always hungry or thirsty or dirty or in need of something -- whether it was help with homework, something to wear, a diaper changed. All the troubles with Sully -- the upcoming hearing, the problems at work, the coldness and distance that had sprung up between them. She had tried. She had tried being everything to everyone but now she just felt depleted. She had nothing more to give. If she stepped outside that door and someone took one more thing from her, she felt that she would disappear -- cease to exist. So she would stay here where it was safe. She pressed her back against the headboard and drew her knees up to her chin, making herself as small as possible.

Sully rode swiftly back to town, his face creased with concern. He could easily imagine Michaela telling a roomful of people to ‘shut up’, but then to lock herself in a room and not come out? He comforted himself by telling himself it was probably all over by now. Once everyone left and it was quiet, she’d calm down and come out and everything would be back to normal. He hoped so. He could ill afford this trip back to town in the middle of the day. He tried to suppress the anger and frustration that had joined his anxiety. He and Michaela had been going through a rough spot lately but he thought they’d come to an understanding. During the infrequent times they’d managed to get together this week he’d done his best to assure her of his love.

He rode up to the clinic, flung himself from his horse and ran inside in time to meet Grace coming through the door that led upstairs. "Sully, you’re here" Grace breathed in relief. "I just brought a tray over from the cafe but she wouldn’t open the door. I just don’t know what ta do for her. D’ ya think we should try ta find another key so we can get in to her?"

"Thanks, Grace" Sully said, touching her arm gratefully. "I’ll go up t’ her now, see if she’ll open for me. I don’ wanna break in on her ‘less I have to".

Grace nodded understandingly. "Well, just come get me if ya need anything. I’ll stop by every now an’ then ta see how you’re doin’ an’ ta bring food. See if ya can at least get her ta eat. Oh, and Roberta has the children -- says she’ll keep ‘em as long as ya need".

Sully took the stairs two at a time and then realised he didn’t know which of the rooms Michaela was occupying. He saw a tray sitting on the floor outside the room at the end so he headed down there. As he passed a room with an open door he heard a voice call, "Pa?"

"Brian?" he said in surprise. "What are you doin’ here?" Brian, clad only in his longjohns, padded out to the hallway to give Sully a quick hug.

"I got sick yesterday" Brian told Sully, "but I’m feelin’ better now. Is Ma gonna be okay?"

"I hope so, Brian. I’m gonna try talkin’ to her now. Ya better get back ta bed before you get sick again. I’ll come see ya after I talk ta your Ma". He clapped Brian on the shoulder reassuringly, surprised to see that he seemed taller than he remembered -- almost as tall as himself.

"I’m glad you’re here, Pa" Brian told him. "I’ve missed you".

Sully thought about that as he moved down the hall to what he guessed was the room where Michaela was. Perhaps he had been neglecting his family too much. He tapped lightly on the door and said softly, "Michaela?" There was no sound from within and he knocked again, a little harder. "Michaela? Are you all right?"

At last, from within, he heard a voice, very low. "Leave me alone". It didn’t even sound like Michaela.

Sully closed his eyes in worry and frustration. "I ain’t leavin’ ya" he said. "Now could ya please come out, or at least let me in there so we can talk? Grace left ya a real nice lunch an’ ya need ta eat ..."

"I need to be left alone" came the same low, strained voice.

Sully sighed and bit his lip. He wanted to pound the door down but he knew that wouldn’t help the situation. He could, as Grace suggested, find a key to let himself in but it would be better if Michaela came out of her own accord. "All right," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "I’ll be right downstairs if ya need me". He headed back down the hall and, remembering his promise, went into Brian’s room.

"Hey, Pa" Brian said, "is Ma okay?"

"Your Ma ... needs ta be alone just now" Sully said carefully. "Things’ve kinda got ta be too much for her".

Brian nodded understandingly. "When I was downstairs seems like th’ whole town was there yellin’ at her about stuff. I just never saw her get so upset before."

Sully perched on the edge of Brian’s bed. "I think these last couple years been harder on her than she let on. Now that the judge is comin’ soon, she’s gettin’ real nervous. But you know your Ma, she doesn’t want anyone ta know when she has trouble dealin’ with things. So she just holds it all in. I guess today was just th’ last straw."

"I kinda know how she feels" Brian admitted, looking at Sully. "I’m kinda worried too ... ‘bout what’s gonna happen ta you ... to us".

Sully felt his throat tightening. "I’m sorry, Brian. I’m sorry about causin’ you ... an’ all the family -- all this worry. I’m sorry I haven’t been here for ya more, that I’ve been so busy ... I been thinkin’ about how I feel, about all I gotta do. I been forgettin’ how everyone else in the family has worries, too. I’ve been so fixed on this one last thing -- Preston’s homestead -- that I let everything else get out of balance. Well, that’s gonna change, I promise you!"

"Remember that epidemic of the grippe, back after we first went ta live with Ma? When she first started using this house as a clinic?" Brian asked suddenly.

Puzzled, Sully nodded, wondering where this was going.

"Back then ya promised me Ma wasn’t gonna die".

"That’s right, I did" Sully acknowledged.

"She didn’t die" Brian said.

"No, she didn’t" Sully said, looking right at Brian.

Brian nodded, then abruptly changing the subject again, said, "D’ ya think you could bring me some soup or somethin’? I’m startin’ ta feel hungry again".

"Sure, Brian" Sully said. "I bet Miss Grace has somma her famous chicken soup just for you".

After stopping outside Michaela’s door to tell her where he was going (and getting no response), Sully descended the stairs thoughtfully, his mind going over the conversation he’d just had with Brian. He tried not to let the little fingers of anxiety choke his resolve to pay more attention to his family. So engrossed was he in his thoughts that he wasn’t even aware of the commotion going on until he opened the door and stepped into what seemed to be a mob waiting outside the clinic. They pressed in on him as he tried to push his way out the door.

What’s wrong with Dr. Mike? ... When’s she gonna be back? ... Where’s the doctor? ... What ‘m I gonna do about my little girl’s fever? ... I was s’posed ta come here today ta get my stitches out. ... Is Dr. Mike ever comin’ back? ... Is she crazy like Jake said?

Sully suddenly had an inkling of why Michaela was locked upstairs. It might not be a bad idea to join her. Instead, he held up his hands for silence. "Now I know ya all been waitin’ for Dr. Mike" he began, improvising like mad. "She just ain’t feelin’ very well at the moment. But if ya can just come back tomorrow, there’ll be someone here ta take care of ya". He prayed this would be true.

There was a lot of grumbling, then one voice was heard saying, "Well, I suppose even the doc can get sick" and with resigned and grudging murmurs of agreement, the crowd slowly dispersed, some looking over their shoulders as if hoping to see Dr. Mike miraculously appear and call them back.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Sully went to get Brian’s soup. He would also pay a little visit to Jake on his way back

- part 36
"You want me ta do what?" Jake asked incredulously.

Sully was almost at the end of his patience. He never knew where to look for Jake anymore. He’d tried the barbershop first, and then the Gold Nugget where Hank told him to try the cafe. Sully hadn’t seen him there when he stopped for Brian’s soup, but when he went back and asked Grace, she gave a little tilt of her head toward the back of the cafe and her eyes spoke volumes. Sully followed her gaze to the most remote corner and there sat Jake, having an early supper with Theresa Morales. Well, Sully knew they’d been having an off and on courtship the last year or so. He hated to interrupt them when they were seated at what the townspeople jokingly called the ‘courtin’ table’, but having found Jake, he didn’t want to lose him again.

Jake had nodded civilly and Miss Theresa had acknowledged him with a soft-spoken ‘Mr. Sully’. Sully knew she didn’t always approve of Michaela and him, or their choices. But she had been unable to conceal her delight when she saw the homestead he had built to replace the one burned by the Dog Soldiers. After getting the ever-curious Brian to question Miss Theresa about Mexican ranch houses, Sully had added little touches to the construction to make it seem more homey.

Jake indicated an empty chair at the table as he said, "What’s on your mind, Sully?"

As Sully sank into the chair, Theresa leaned forward, saying, "And how is Dr. Quinn?"

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Sully hated revealing aspects of his private life and he hated asking favors of Jake Slicker. But as a doctor, Michaela belonged to the public, too, so he forged ahead with his plan. "That’s just it" he began, "I ... I think she’s gonna need ta rest up for a coupla days. With everyone bein’ sick an’ Andrew away, she hasn’t taken much time out for herself".

"If Andrew’s gone, who’s gonna run the clinic?" Jake wanted to know. "Folks ain’t gonna stop gettin’ sick just ‘cause Dr. Mike needs rest".

"I know, Jake, I know" Sully took a deep breath. "That’s where you and I come in".

"What d’ ya mean?" Jake asked suspiciously.

"I’m askin’ if you’ll come ta the clinic tomorrow, maybe the next couple days -- at least for a little while. Help out with somma the folks come ta see Dr. Mike ..."

Jake’s explosive response was about what he’d expected. "Look, Jake, I know we can’t handle nothin’ fancy. But you can take care o’ stitches and cuts an’ boils an’ such an’ I can, well maybe, take care o’ givin’ out medicines. Some kinds, anyway. You’d still have time for your barberin’ or workin’ at th’ Nugget. We’d just tell folks we’ll only be open a few hours in the mornin’ ‘til Dr. Mike’s back -- or ... or ‘til we can get a doctor t’ come in from Denver" This was the first indication that Sully had doubts that Michaela would be back right away.

Jake looked at Sully darkly. "I dunno. When she first got here she just took over from

me -- made out like she could do it all. Told her we didn’t need no doctor, but did she listen? Noo-oo, she just went on stealin’ my customers and worse, tryin’ ta tell me how ta run my barberin’ business. She hasn’t had much use for my skills these last seven years. I don’t know if I’m so eager ta get back into ..." he paused as he felt Theresa’s gentle touch on his arm.

"I think you should do it, Jake" she said quietly. "If not for Dr. Quinn and Mr. Sully, for the people of the town. You are the mayor -- they are your friends and need your help. These people are also your customers. Do you not want to keep them healthy?"

Jake took a deep breath, looked into Theresa’s calm brown eyes, swallowed a large lump of pride and said, "All right. When d’ ya wanta start?"

Early the next morning Jake and Sully prepared to set up shop in the clinic. Jake looked in drawers and on shelves finding bandages, needles, thread, and other things of that nature. They had agreed that Jake would take care of cuts, bruises, boils, stitching of wounds and removal of stitches.

Sully, who was going to try to dispense medicines shook his head as he searched through the well-organised cupboards. There were all sorts of bottles there, clearly labeled with their names, some of which he couldn’t begin to pronounce, a few of which were familiar, none of which he knew well enough to give to patients. He was getting more and more discouraged as he rummaged about, but finally, in the last cupboard he hit pay dirt. It was where Michaela kept her Cheyenne remedies, put together with knowledge gifted her by Cloud Dancing, gleaned from the forests and fields nearby, and often successful when all else failed. These he knew a little about -- at least enough to get by for a day or two. Willow bark tea, stinging nettles ... he was on familiar ground now. He looked over to where Jake was completing his inspection of the medical supplies. Jake raised his eyebrows and Sully nodded and went to change the sign on the door from ‘Closed’ to "Open".

- part 37
At 3:00 that afternoon Jake growled, "I thought we were only stayin’’ open a few hours!" Since they’d turned the sign around that morning they’d had a steady stream of customers. Sully had given out medicines for headaches, fever, rheumatism and hay asthma. Jake had taken care of a head wound, stitched a cut leg, removed three people’s stitches, set a broken arm and lanced 2 boils. As the bell rang again they looked at each other in desperation. It wasn’t just the business, but the constant barrage of questions -- Where’s Dr. Mike? When will she be back? Are you sure she won’t be back soon? Do you really know what you’re doing?

Sully guessed it was worse for Jake than it was for himself. Some of these people had entrusted their cuts and bruises to Jake long before Michaela had arrived, had, in fact, been quite wary of the ‘lady doc’ from the East. But now it seemed the tables were turned.

Wearily Jake opened the door to reveal old Zeke Walters. Zeke had a homestead out beyond Cripple Creek and rarely made it into town. Sully knew he suffered from rheumatism and that Michaela had been going out there regularly to treat it since he was so reluctant to come into town. Perhaps she’d missed a visit and he’d come in to see why.

Zeke said ‘Howdy’ to Jake then squinted at Sully. "Well, hello there, young fella" he said. "I remember you. You’re the one brings out the flour an’ beans an’ stuff after the winter to tide us over ‘til we get our crops in. Mighty neighborly of ya. You’re Dr. Mike’s husband, ain’t ya? Ya helpin’ out t’day?"

Sully glanced at Jake who raised his eyebrows and shrugged slightly, leaving it to Sully to explain the situation. "Well, actually, Mr. Walters ..."

"It’s Zeke, young man, just call me Zeke"

"Yes. Well, um ..." Sully licked his lips. "Actually, Jake an’ me, we’re kinda fillin’ in for Dr. Mike today"

Zeke squinted at Sully suspiciously. " ‘s that right? Well now, I dunno. I’d kinda like ta be seen by the real doc".

Sully suppressed a smile, recalling the numerous times in the past that people had expressed the same wish to his wife. He thought she’d be gratified to learn that she’d finally become the ‘real doc’ in so many people’s hearts. Aloud, he said gently, "Why don’t we see what we can do for you. Is it your rheumatism?"

Zeke looked up at him with large, frightened eyes and for the first time Sully noticed he was holding his left hand close in to his body. He finally held it forth, revealing a nasty cut. "I was slicin’ some bread an’ th’ knife slipped" he admitted. "Thought th’ doc oughta take a look at it. An’ I gotta admit, I don’t mind takin’ a look at th’ doc while she’s at it" he added with a smirk.

Sully grinned weakly and Jake rolled his eyes, then reached for Zeke’s hand. "Lemme take a look at that, Zeke" he said.

Zeke pulled his hand away, casting a suspicious look at Jake. "Well, I dunno ..."

"Wha’ d’ ya mean ya don’t know!" Jake exploded. "Ya came ta me long before anyone ever hearda Dr. Mike an’ I always treated ya right!"

"We - ell," Zeke looked from Jake to Sully, "if you’re sure Dr. Mike can’t look at it ..." reluctantly he held it out for inspection and Jake almost grabbed it in his impatience.

Sully chuckled to himself as he turned to open the door for another ringer. Before he reached the door, however, it burst open and Trevor stumbled in. "I need a doctor!" he declared, his commanding tone an eerie echo of his uncle’s. "What does it take to get to see one around here?"

"You’ll wait your turn is what you’ll do!" Zeke cried, pointing the finger of his good hand at Trevor.

"Please -- hold still!" Jake cried tensely, having almost jabbed himself with the needle when Zeke moved.

"I’ll wait" Trevor grinned. "Where is, Dr. Quinn, anyway?"

"She ain’t feelin’ well" Sully said shortly.

"That’s not what my uncle says. Why are you here, anyway? Why aren’t you out working on his homestead?"

Sully looked at him levelly. "D’ ya need medical attention? ‘Cause if not, there’s others waitin’ ..."

"No, no" Trevor raised his hands, "I just didn’t realise you were ‘doctor for a day’ or whatever -- ‘in loco doctoris’, hmm?" Seeing Sully’s face, he grew more serious. "It’s my stomach. It’s been hurting pretty badly. Guess I have that ‘thing’ that’s been going around, huh?"

Before Sully could answer, Jake said, "There, that should do it!" as he finished bandaging Zeke’s newly stitched hand.

Zeke inspected his hand. "Ya done a good job" he allowed. "Now, about what I owe ya ... I was wonderin’ ... that is, Dr. Mike usually lets me ... could I bring ya a bushel of potatoes come harvest?"

Jake and Sully eyed each other then Sully said, "That’d be fine, Zeke".

Jake added, "Don’t forget ta come get th’ stitches removed".

"And here" Sully handed him a packet of tea. "Drink somma this every day. It’ll help prevent infection".

With a wave of his hand, Zeke was gone.

" ‘Drink somma this’?" Jake said as he turned from the door."Don’t Dr. Mike usually give an exact amount?"

"Don’t know the exact amount" Sully admitted, "But ‘some’ ‘ll be better ‘n none! ‘Sides, there’s instructions on th’ packet".

"That’d be great if he could read" Jake muttered.

"Gentlemen!" Trevor’s voice rose over their talk. "My stomach? I mean, this is all very touching, but, as you said, you do have other patients!"

Sully motioned Trevor to sit on Dr. Mike’s examining table. "D’ ya have any other symptoms?" he asked.

"Like what?"

Sully shrugged. "Headache? Sore throat? Fever?"

"Ya real thirsty? Been visitin’ th’ outhouse kinda often?" Jake chimed in.

"Are you crazy?" Trevor cried, "I said my stomach hurts. Now are you going to give me something for it or aren’t you?"

Sully was trying to decide between giving Trevor paregoric, which Michaela had apparently used on most of her virus patients, or the Cheyenne herb Cloud Dancing liked to use, when Jake beckoned to him. He’d been searching through Michaela’s cupboards and handed Sully a bottle. Sully looked at it dubiously but Jake nodded encouragingly. "Trust me" he said.

Shrugging, Sully poured a dose and fed it to Trevor who immediately set up a sputtering and yelling worthy of a three-year-old. "What is that stuff?" he cried when he had regained his voice.

"It’ll cure what ails ya" Jake said dryly, then added, "That’ll be a dollar". Sully glanced at him swiftly but said nothing.

Smirking, Trevor reached into his pocket and produced an apple which he held out. "My payment, gentlemen. Hope you have a knife!"

"That’ll be cash money" Jake said.

"I don’t have any money" Trevor replied. "I thought when your patients couldn’t pay you allowed them to find more ... creative ... ways of settling their bills".

"That’s only the ones that don’t have no means o’ payin’" Jake said, while Sully continued to look on in amazement. "You got th’ means. If ya don’t have it on ya, we’ll just bill your uncle" Turning to Sully, Jake explained, "Trevor had plenty of money ‘til he spent it all in the saloon on bad whiskey. That’s all that ails his stomach. Been raidin’ his uncle’s supply of th’ good stuff, t’ boot, I bet, though why Preston hasn’t noticed yet I can’t imagine. Anyway, there’s more cash where that came from, so Mr. Sully’ll just write up a nice bill an’ send it out t’ th’ Chateau. I’m sure your Uncle Preston’ll be glad ta take care of it for ya".

Trevor dug angrily in his pocket and produced a coin which he threw on the desk. Then a sudden look of surprise came into his eyes. "Outhouse" he muttered and flew out the door.

Jake watched him go, a knowledgeable glint in his eyes. Sully watched him, also, then their eyes met and both burst out laughing.

It was now 4:00 and no more patients seemed to be forthcoming. As they began tidying the clinic Jake said, "I hope ya don’t think I’m comin’ back for more tomorrow!"

Sully shook his head. "We musta already treated everyone in town today!"

Even as he spoke, the bell rang again and a young couple entered. The woman looked to Sully to be about 9 1/2 months pregnant. "We’re here ta see Dr. Mike?" the anxious young man said. "She told us ta come by today for a checkup ..." He paused, uncertain, as Jake and Sully exchanged glances. Then he and his wife looked on in astonishment as each turned to the other and said simultaneously,

"Your turn!!!!"

-- part 38
True to his word, Jake did not show up the next morning and Sully braced himself for a long day. The first person to arrive, however, was Dorothy and she wasn’t seeking medical treatment.

"Oh, Sully" she cried, "Loren told me about Michaela! Has she come out, yet?"

Sully ushered her in, looking at her pale face with concern. "No, not yet. Are ya sure you’re all right?"

"Oh, don’t go frettin’ about me" Dorothy waved away his worry. "Loren helped me ta see I was just feelin’ sorry for myself. He knew if I got out an’ started doin’ somethin’ I’d feel better. Is it all right if I go up?"

"Ya can try" Sully shrugged helplessly. "Grace just went up with another tray but she ain’t openin’ the door to anybody".

He watched as Dorothy went through the door that led to upstairs, then smacked the door frame in frustration. He was going to have to do something, he just didn’t know what. His thoughts were interrupted as the clinic door burst open and Preston strode in.

"Where is Dr. Quinn?" he demanded without preamble. "My nephew tells me he was treated here yesterday by you and Jake Slicker and that the medicine you gave him made him worse!"

"How is he today?" Sully asked quietly.

"He’s ... he’s fine" Preston admitted, losing a bit of his bluster. "That’s not the point. If Dr. Quinn is unable to perform her duties here, then we should see to it that a doctor is engaged who is able to meet the needs of the townspeople. I’ve already wired Andrew to come home since it is evident that Dr. Quinn is unable to keep up with her own duties, let alone take on those of anyone else! I think we should wire Dr. Cassidy in Denver and ask him to fill in here until a new doctor can be procured" His teeth flashed in a grimace of triumph. "It is fairly obvious that Dr. Quinn’s delicate sensibilities are not up to coping with the ever-expanding needs of a growing town. A barber cum barkeep and a ... a ... you know, I still don’t know what you are, Sully ... in any event, the two of you are woefully inadequate as town physicians. You are supposed to be building my homestead and instead I find you lounging around the medical clinic. I am going to have to record this incident in my report to the judge!"

"Are you finished?" Sully asked when Preston’s tirade had ended.

"For now" Preston replied, nonplused.

"Good. ‘Cause I got business to attend to" Sully moved to the door and opened it for Preston.

As he reached the door, Preston turned and fixed Sully with a hard stare. "I’m sure, in the long run, that your wife would much rather have you around in the years to come, rather than here right now and in jail later" Seeing that no reaction was forthcoming, Preston shrugged. "Have it your way" he said, almost to himself as Sully shut the door behind him.

Sully turned to see that Grace and Dorothy had come downstairs and had probably witnessed Preston’s departure. Grace’s mouth tightened but she didn’t say anything, and Dorothy’s eyes shot sparks as she declared, "You need ta be right here where you are! Michaela needs you, Sully!"

Grace spoke up, "We’re worried about Michaela, Sully. She hasn’t eaten any of the food I left" she nodded at the full tray she was carrying. "This is the third time I brought a tray over an’ it’ll probably go untouched just like the others. How long ya gonna leave her ta work things out? How do ya know she’s okay in there? She won’t even talk to us!"

Sully nodded. It was time to do something. He had gone up regularly to check on her, to tell her what was going on with the clinic. But even his stories of people asking for a ‘real’ doctor had gotten no reaction. "I know" he said, his voice breaking. "I have an idea of what I wanna do, wanna try ... I’m just not sure it’ll work. If it doesn’t ..." he left the sentence unfinished.

"You just go with your instincts" Dorothy said reassuringly. "You an’ Michaela got somethin’ real special ... you got a real connection. If anyone can help her, you can!"

"And remember," Grace put in, "you just call on us if ya need anything ... anything at all!"

"Thanks," Sully said gratefully as he saw the women out. He turned to see that Brian had come downstairs. "What’re you doin’ up?" he asked. He noticed that Brian was fully dressed.

"I’m better now, Pa" Brian said. "I don’t need ta stay here anymore. Miss Grace says Miss Bobby took Katie an’ Gordon home with her. I thought I’d go see if she needs anything, an’ then go back ta stay with Matthew".

"Ya sure you’re okay?"

"Yeah, I’m sure. I ate that soup an’ I feel fine. I’m tired o’ bein’ cooped up in bed. Matthew an’ I can take care o’ the chores at th’ homestead. You just take care o’ ... take care o’ Ma, okay?"

"Sure thing, Brian" Sully answered, his voice breaking once again as he hugged his son.

After Brian left, Sully sat at Michaela’s desk and closed his eyes. Sitting here, in the chair she occupied nearly every day, it was as if he could feel her spirit. He prayed to have some idea of what she was feeling -- to know how to help her find her way through whatever darkness she had entered. He remained like this for a long time, then abruptly he stood up, left the clinic, turning the sign to ‘Closed’ and headed out to make some arrangements. He’d go to the sheriff’s office, then the cafe and finally the barber shop. He just hoped Jake was easier to find today.

Part 39
Early that afternoon Jake and Sully could be seen coming down the street between the barber shop and the clinic, struggling under the awkward weight of Jake’s tin bathtub.

"Still don’t see what this’s got ta do with Dr. Mike" Jake grunted.

"You don’t hafta see" Sully told him shortly.

"You wanna do a water treatment" Jake continued, "ya could just take her out and dump her in th’ trough. They say cold water’s best for snappin’ people outta fits like hers. I had a cousin once ..."

Mercifully, they arrived at the clinic and talk ceased as, grunting, they maneuvered the tub in the door and set it down on the clinic floor. Jake stood, wiping his hands on his trousers. "Well, there y’are" he said.

"Thanks, Jake" Sully said, waiting for him to leave.

"Well," Jake said, hoping to get some clue as to what Sully had in mind. When Sully just stood there, he said, "Well, let me know when you’re done with it".

Sully nodded and closed the door behind him as he left. He had already filled the largest pots he could find with water and had set them on the stove to heat. Now he went to the cupboard looking for a bottle he had seen yesterday ... there it was. He had a pile of fresh, clean towels, some soap ... he was almost ready. He checked to be sure the sign was still turned to ‘closed’, then he locked the door. He closed all the shades and lit the lamps, turning them low. Carefully he poured the now-hot water into the tub. He added a few drops from the bottle to the water and a lovely herbal smell wafted up. He set the bottle aside for later. He checked the fire in the stove and stoked it with some wood. When all was in readiness, he checked through the desk drawers until he found the extra key to the upstairs rooms. Clutching the key in his hand, he headed for the stairway. Pausing at the bottom, he told himself, It’s now or never and slowly began to ascend. Reaching the door to the room where Michaela had imprisoned herself, he stood outside for a moment, taking deep breaths, trying to reach out to her with his spirit and praying for the strength and wisdom to do what he had to do. Finally, gathering his courage, he rapped lightly on the door. "Michaela? It’s me, Michaela. It’s just us, now. Everyone else is gone, the door’s locked ... no one will be comin’ in ..." He paused, but there was no sound from within. Swallowing hard, he went on, "I’m worried about ya, Michaela. I can’t let ya keep yourself locked up like this, so if ya can’t let me in, I’m gonna let myself in so I can see how y’are." Silence. Breathing deeply, Sully remembered how devastated Michaela had been by the massacre at Washita, now she had emotionally violated herself from her family and friends. She had been in the barn letting out all her rage and anger - at the government, at the army and mostly at her own powerlessness and inability to have stopped the outrage. Matthew had begged him to go in to her, to help her, but Sully had known it was not the right time. She had to be left alone to work things out for herself. Just as he had known then to leave her for a time, he now knew this was not the time to leave her alone. Taking the key, he carefully inserted it into the lock and turned it, then gently pushed the door open and stepped into the room.

He would not have been surprised if Michaela had thrown something at him as he entered, but he was not prepared to see her as she was -- back pressed tightly against the headboard, knees drawn up to her chin, hugging herself tightly. His heart went out to her. She looked more like a scared, trapped animal than his normally vibrant, spirited wife. He approached her slowly, keeping his voice low.

"Hey, Michaela, it’s just me"

"Go away, Sully" she said, her voice barely audible.

"No, I won’t go away" he told her, gently pushing her hair away from her face. It was damp and her forehead glistened with a sheen of perspiration. "I fixed ya a nice bath downstairs," he told her conversationally, "so I’m gonna take ya down there, now". He put one arm around her shoulders and the other under her legs and began to lift her. Immediately she stiffened.

"No, Sully" she cried, trying to push him away. "Don’t make me leave here. It’s safe here!"

Continuing to lift her, Sully said firmly, "You’re safe with me". He carried her slowly down the stairs and when they reached the examining room where the tub was set up, he set her gently on her feet. Then he put his arms around her, holding her close, stroking her hair, whispering words of love and comfort. Finally, he drew back a little and said, smiling, "Bath’s gettin’ cold". He glanced at the tub, then turned back to Michaela, raising his eyebrows in silent query. She gave a barely perceptible nod. Then, as if she were Katie, he undressed her and lifted her into the tub. "Water okay?" he asked anxiously, hoping it had cooled down enough to be pleasingly warm.

She did not reply, but leaned back and closed her eyes. Suddenly she opened them, "Sully?"

"I’m here" he said quietly. He took a cloth and began to wash her, lapping the warm water over the exposed parts of her body so she wouldn’t get cold. He heard a scratching at the door and turned to see Grace quietly letting herself in as they had planned. She re-locked the door behind her then, finger to her lips, tiptoed past them and up the stairs. Michaela, who had finally relaxed again, did not open her eyes.

Suddenly she stiffened and grabbed his hand as tears began to course down her cheeks. She was trembling, whether due to cold or stress he wasn’t sure, so he gently lifted her out of the water and wrapped her in a towel he had at the ready. She clung to him, still trembling and crying so he picked her up, towel and all, and carried her over to a chair where he sat with her in his lap. Grace tiptoed back downstairs and sketched a wave as she let herself out. Sully acknowledged her departure with a smile and a nod of his head. Michaela was speaking now and he leaned close so he could hear her.

"I can’t do it, Sully" she was saying, "I can’t do everything for everyone"

" ‘course ya can’t" he told her. "Folks don’t expect ya to".

"Yes, they do. Everyone wants something from me -- you, the children, my patients, Preston. I have no more to give" Her crying spent, she spoke quietly now. "I’m empty, Sully".

Wordlessly, Sully held her, caressing her, stroking her wet hair. At last he stood, still holding her in his arms, reached precariously for the bottle of herbal oil he had set aside earlier, then holding her more firmly, made his way up the stairs.

Part 40
Brian was despondent as he left the Taylor homestead. Instead of heading for Matthew’s, he headed for home. He needed time alone to think. After leaving the clinic, he had gone to the Taylor’s to check on Katie and Gordon, feeling very grown-up and responsible, ready to bring the children back to Matthew’s with him and to take care of them if need be. He’d left feeling chided, chastened and like a little boy. He kicked at a log in frustration. Was this what being almost 15 was always like - one minute a man and the next a child - never sure of what people expected of you?

His offer to take care of Katie and Gordon had been rebuffed by Roberta who had behaved rather coolly towards him. "I think your parents would prefer that they stay here, Brian" she’d told him. "Sully has enough to worry about right now with your mother so overwhelmed and all. Their minds will rest easier if Peter and I look after the children here." Brian didn’t have a response to that. Did she mean Ma and Pa would worry with Katie and Gordon in his care? Roberta continued with her supper preparations as Brian stood there feeling awkward and dumb. She evidently wasn’t going to invite him to eat with them and he knew he ought to take his leave. But he did have other business to take care of here.

Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Is ... is Bonnie around, Miss Bobby?" Just then Bonnie appeared in the kitchen, leading Katie by the hand.

"Brine!" Katie cried, trotting over to hug his knees. "We go home?" she looked up at him hopefully.

Roberta walked over and squatted down beside Katie. "Brian’s going back to Matthew’s now and later they’ll be going home to take care of the chores, but you and Gordon are going to eat supper here and stay all night! What do you think of that? You’ll get to sleep with Bonnie in her room!"

Katie looked from one face to another, trying to make up her mind how she felt about this new turn of events. Bonnie smiled encouragingly. "After supper maybe Mother will let us give Gordon and the twins a bath and then we can go to my room and play with my doll and look at books and I’ll read you a story!"

"Okay, I stay" Katie decided. "But ..."

"But what?" Bonnie smiled.

"Well," Katie said seriously, "Better have lotsa towels - Gordon splashes!"

Everyone chuckled then Roberta said, "Bonnie, please take Katie to get washed up, then run to the barn and tell Sam that supper will be in half an hour". Brian hugged Katie and looked as if he wanted to say something to Bonnie, but ignoring him, she whisked Katie away.

"Brian," Roberta said when they had left, "Bonnie told us about the other night. She was very upset."

"I know" Brian replied. "I been feelin’ real bad about that an’ wanted to apologise. But she won’t even listen ta me!"

"I think it will probably take some time before she wants to listen to you" Roberta said quietly. "You can’t just say you’re sorry every time you do something wrong or unkind and expect things to go back to the way they were. It’s like when someone gets hurt and your mother stitches or puts a dressing on the wound. It takes time for that wound to heal."

"Well, how can I ‘stitch things up’ if she won’t even talk ta me?"

Roberta turned to face him. "I think you’re going to have to spend some time apart, first" she said. "And while we’re on the subject, your mother and I were talking the other day when I brought the twins for their checkup. We were both very disturbed by the reports of what you and Sam have been up to with Trevor Lodge. We decided it would be best to keep you boys apart for awhile. Brian opened his mouth to protest but Roberta went on, "I wouldn’t be telling you this except that I know your mother hasn’t had a chance to and I wanted you to know why I’m not inviting you to supper tonight. I know each family has its own form of discipline and punishment but this is one part we agreed on - that you and Sam are not to be together for two weeks".

"Two weeks!" Brian exclaimed, his voice breaking.

Roberta went on, "And you both are certainly to stay away from the Lodge boy - permanently. If, when you come of age, you boys decide you want to smoke or drink, that will be your prerogative. But for right now, you are too young to do either. I would have hoped that as the older boy you might have been a better influence for Sam and not let Trevor’s wild tales lead you astray. Sam might have become very ill!"

"I’m ... I’m sorry" Brian said. "Are ya ... are ya real mad at me?" He hated to ask but ever since Roberta had been instrumental in seeing that Sully got home after his fall from the cliff and that he got a fair trial with her husband as his lawyer, he had seen her as a sort of ally, an extra someone in whom he could confide. And Sam was a god friend and fishing buddy. They might never have as close a relationship as the one he’d shared with Anthony, but they enjoyed each other’s company. And now that he thought about it, he really did like Bonnie, too. He was flattered by her admiration, but she was also a fun and interesting person to be around. Peter was real nice, too. He had kept Sully from hanging two years ago and they were counting on him to get his complete pardon when the judge returned. To be on the outs with the entire family made Brian feel rather lost and alone.

Roberta turned to him. "No, Brian, I’m not really angry with you. Just disappointed. I think, and your mother does, too, that both you and Sam need some time apart from the situation to think about how you’ve been behaving and the effect your behaviour has had on those around you. It’s not smoking and drinking that make you a man, Brian. You boys need to start thinking about what sort of men you want to be and what you can do to achieve that. Use the time well and when the two weeks are up we’ll all get together again and I’ll see to it that Bonnie will listen to what you have to say. By that time Sully’s name should be cleared for good and we’ll have a real celebration - perhaps for July 4th!" She smiled at him encouragingly. "Now run along ... Matthew will be wondering where you are!"

There seemed to be nothing more to say so Brian thanked Roberta and took his leave. He guessed he should be angry at Bonnie for tattling on him and Sam, but he really only felt resigned. He wondered what Roberta had meant about using his time wisely, about what it took to be a man. It was so frustrating to want to be grown-up yet still be treated as a little boy. How was he supposed to show he could handle responsibilities if no one was willing to give him the opportunity? Suddenly he recalled a recent conversation with Sully and an idea began to form in his head. It would be a way to begin to prove himself a man and now might be a very good time to carry it out. Filled with new resolve, Brian broke into a trot, hurrying to the homestead to prepare.

"Good evenin’, Matthew" Grace stopped at the table where he was seated alone. "What’ll it be tonight?"

"Ya got any fried chicken?"

"Sure do" Grace wrote on her pad. "Mashed potatoes an’ carrots?" she asked.

"Sounds great" Matthew replied.

"Where’s Brian?" Grace inquired before leaving the table.

"Went over to the Taylor’s ta check on Gordon an’ Katie. He prob’ly stayed there for supper".

Grace looked as if she were about to say something, then thought better of it. Roberta had told her of the plan to separate the boys for a time, but the ban had probably been temporarily lifted due to the current circumstances. She stuck her pencil behind her ear and hurried off to fill Matthew’s order.

As Matthew waited for his supper, he reflected on the events of the past week ... the tension at the homestead and then Dr. Mike’s emergency call to the clinic to attend to Dorothy ... Dr. Mike’s eventual breakdown ... Matthew’s heart went out to her with all the demands on her and the pressures she’d been under lately. He and Brian had managed the homestead chores together and then Matthew had taken on the whole load when Brian got sick. He’d been glad to hear from Sully this morning that Brian was better, then later he had spoken to Brian as he’d left the clinic. Sully had also confided to him his plans to help Dr. Mike’s recovery. He’d admitted to being overly focused on completing Preston’s homestead and neglecting his other responsibilities. "I need ta be spendin’ more time with the kids, too" he confessed. "But first things first. Your Ma needs me right now". Now Matthew was trying to figure out how he could help Sully. And the person who might be able to answer that question was just entering the cafe."

Part 41
Sully reached the upstairs hallway still holding his silent wife. He made his way down to the corner recovery room and eased the door open with his foot. Grace had done her work well. The bed was made up with fresh linens and a flannel nightgown and warm robe lay across the foot. Michaela’s hairbrush was on the dresser, where a lamp burned brightly, dispelling the twilight that had already darkened the room. A small table was set with supper - soup, rolls and butter and a pot of tea.

Gently, Sully sat Michaela down on the bed and unwrapped the damp towel from around her. She shivered and he quickly grabbed the robe and helped her into it, squeezing her shoulders reassuringly. "C’mon" he said, and led her carefully over to a chair. He sat her down and pulled the table closer to her, then served up a bowl of the succulent soup and put a spoon in her hand. "Here. Try ta eat somethin’" he said, "ya need ta get back your strength".

Silently Michaela took the spoon and stared at the soup as if it presented as great a challenge as climbing Pike’s Peak. Slowly she dipped into the soup and took a small bite, heaving a deep sigh as she savored the first food she’d eaten in awhile. Sully smiled encouragingly then sidled slowly over to the dresser where he picked up the hairbrush. Coming to stand behind Michaela he paused for a moment, then ran his fingers through her damp hair, carefully pulling its length from beneath the robe and smoothing it out before beginning to run the brush through it in sure, even strokes.

Michaela continued to eat mechanically and Sully paused in his brushing to butter a roll for her and pour her a cup of tea. Michaela thanked him with her eyes, but still said nothing, as if it were taking every ounce of her strength just to eat. Sully finished brushing her hair and gazed at her, relishing the sight of her with her hair spilling over her shoulders like an auburn cape, but then, knowing it would be easier to manage, he took her hair in his hands again and plaited it into a loose braid that hung down her back. As he completed the task, Michaela pushed her still half-full bowl away and sighed. "Had enough?" Sully asked and she nodded wearily. "That’s okay. Ya done real good" he told her. "Did ya drink the tea?" Sully inspected the cup. He knew dehydration was a real danger here. Pleased to see that she had drained it, he said, "Good. We’ll try more later. C’mon over here, now". He assisted her to her feet and led her over to the bed where he made her lie down on the clean, fresh-smelling sheets. "Here, on your stomach, like that. Good!" he told her, guiding her with gentle hands. Carefully he pulled the robe back from her shoulders, removing her arms from the sleeves and folding it back to her waist. Taking the bottle of herbal-scented oil, he uncorked it and poured some into his hand. After rubbing his palms together he began to gently massage the oil into his wife’s tense shoulders and back. As he kneaded her soft skin he felt the fingers of desire stir within him. He remembered watching the women wash her back when she was so ill with the influenza and again washing her back himself after she’d delivered the calf when they were driving Matthew’s newly-inherited cattle back to town. Now, as then, he knew the time wasn’t right to act on his feelings. His intention was totally to give to Michaela, to try to fill up some of those empty places created by so many demands on her. He didn’t want to ask anything of her right now. Instead, he concentrated on communicating all the love he had for her down through his fingertips and onto her skin.

When he noticed goosebumps beginning to appear, though, he ceased his ministrations and carefully rolled her over to sit her up, reaching for the nightgown as he did so. As he lifted it over her head, she moaned a little bit and he paused before easing her arms into the sleeves. "Ya okay?" he asked anxiously. A sudden thought struck him. "Are ya ... are ya uncomfortable? I ..." Unsure how to broach the subject, he hesitated. "I know ya used ta get ... uncomfortable when ya went a long time between nursings with Katie ... She an’ Gordon are stayin’ at the Taylor’s, but if ya need me ta bring him in ..."When he’d made his plans all he’d thought about was that Gordon would do fine on the infant formula at the Taylor’s. It hadn’t occurred to him that Michaela might need to nurse ... that problem just hadn’t come up in Gordon’s nine months of life.

But Michaela was shaking her head. "No Sully" she said, her voice a little hoarse, "It’s all right. Truthfully, I don’t know if I could nurse right now .. I haven’t been eating right or drinking enough ...he’s been giving up some of his feedings lately ... all this stress wouldn’t be good for my milk, anyway ... I just don’t seem to get as uncomfortable between feedings as I did with Katie ..." It seemed to cost he a great effort to speak and she ended by dissolving in tears. "I’m a terrible mother .. I can’t even feed my own child..."

"Shhhh" Sully hushed her gently and helped her slip her arms into the sleeves of her gown. "This is good. Now ya can get all the rest ya need" Michaela did not resist as he pulled back the covers and helped her slip down underneath them. He pulled them up snugly and tenderly stroked her brow. "Try ta sleep now" he soothed. "I’m gonna get ya up in a little while and take ya away from here". He half-expected a protest, but Michaela was already asleep.

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