Part Eight
At breakfast the next morning Sully remained baffled by the workings of a large,
well-to-do household. He had no sooner sat down than a plate of breakfast appeared
magically before him but when he turned to smile a thank you at the person who
had brought it, it was as if a faceless nonentity had served him -- as if the
person were meant to be invisible. He could never get used to that.
He was a little nonplused when Michaela hopped up almost as soon as he'd sat down and breezed off with that William character, leaving him in the hands of the children. Capable as they may have been, they were not the hands he'd been hoping for. But it was good to see the kids again and he was going to enjoy spending time with them.
As they headed off down the cobblestoned street, Brian took one of his arms and Colleen the other as they chatted excitedly about what they had to show him. He observed with a pang that in just a few short weeks they were as at home here as they'd been in Colorado Springs. Only Matthew was sullen, trudging along behind them, head lowered, hands jammed in his pockets.
Meanwhile, the children pulled him this way and that, pointing out places of interest. "That's the store that don't sell nothin' but candy an' ice cream!" Brian exclaimed. "Ma bought me somethin' called a sundae with two kindsa ice cream an' choc'late an' whipped cream ..."
"An' he ate it all, too!" Colleen laughed. "Dr. Mike said she didn't know where he put it!"
"Where'd she think I was gonna put it!" Brian rubbed his stomach. "It was good, too!" As they peered in the window at the colorful array of sweets, a passing woman gave a little cry of disgust as she saw Sully. That didn't pain him nearly as much, however, as hearing Brian call Loren Bray's candy selection "stupid", comparing it unfavorably to that of the Boston store.
But Colleen was pulling him the other way. "Look, Sully! That's where we got new dresses before we went out to dinner with William." She hesitated a moment, not sure she should have mentioned that to Sully, then plunged on. "I can't wait for you to see the one I got! It's the most beautiful dress I ever had!"
"Wait'll you see Ma's new dress" Brian chimed in. "She sure looks pretty!"
Sully had almost forgotten what a city was like and he stared at the houses and shops seemingly built on top of one another with no open space at all. How could folks live all crowded together like this? They had to make special parks just so the people could get away. It was to one of these small parks that the children led him next. "Here's where Dr. Mike an' William picked the dandelions for Grandma!" Colleen explained. Lowering her voice she said, "They hadta be real careful they didn't get caught."
"Yeah, or th' park keeper woulda thrown 'em out!" Brian added.
"For pickin' *dandelions*?" Sully had a hard time believing this was so.
"In Boston ya c'n look but ya can't touch" Matthew spoke in a voice dripping with scorn.
"Well, at least they got 'em an' could make the tea that made Grandma better" Colleen said.
"So why're we still here?" Matthew muttered to no one in particular.
"What I don't get" Brian removed his hat and scratched his head, "is why, when Grandma got better, everyone got so mad! Dr. Hanson fired Dr. Burke an' Aunt Marjorie an' Aunt Claudette an' Aunt Maureen all yelled at Ma like she'd done somethin' terrible!"
Sully squinted in disbelief. "Folks got upset 'cause Mrs. Quinn got better?"
"It wasn't *'cause* she got better, it was th' *way* she got better" Colleen explained patiently. Then they all sat on a bench in the park and filled Sully in on what had happened after his telegram, with the information Dr. Mike had requested, had arrived. "It musta been really funny the way she an' Dr. Burke had to sneak around and give Grandma the medicine when Dr. Hanson and the nurses weren't around." Colleen giggled.
"Yeah, even Grandma had fun foolin' Dr. Hanson!" Brian put in. "Too bad he didn't think it was funny."
"He just didn't like bein' shown up by a woman" Matthew explained impatiently. "Can we go back t' th' house now? It's almost lunchtime."
As they left the park and headed down the street again, Sully's feelings were mixed. He was proud of Dr. Mike, proud that she'd been able to cure he mother using the Cheyenne medicine, proud that her ma had finally acknowledged her as a doctor. He ached for her that she had to withstand the scorn of her family who couldn't see the end result but only the means. He wondered if they would have preferred their mother to die under Dr. Hanson's misdiagnosis and he found himself feeling angry at the man who would not acknowledge a colleague simply because she was a woman. It put him in mind of Dr. Cassidy who *had* allowed a patient to die rather than be treated by Dr. Mike. Mixed in with the pride and anger he was feeling something else -- a sort of unease -- he didn't like hearing how Dr. Mike and William had snuck around together to obtain the dandelions, to extract the tea and to dose Mrs. Quinn. It seemed so ... companionable. They probably had a lot in common ... He snapped out of his reverie when he realized Colleen was speaking again.
"There's where the boys got their outfits" she was saying, "but you probably can't make them show them to you ... ' cept th' ones they're already wearin', of course."
"Yuck!" was Brian's heartfelt reply.
"Seems like a waste" Matthew agreed. "Just 'cause we gotta dress up here every day. Where'm I ever gonna wear a suit like this back in Colorado Springs?"
"There'll be times, Matthew" Sully told him, "when you'll wanna dress up fine for some special occasion," with a smile he added, "or special person."
"Yeah," Brian chimed in, "like when *you* got all dressed up for Ma's birthday!"
Sully remembered that time back last winter. The kids had wanted to do something special for Dr. Mike and , in addition to a surprise party, thought finding her a suitor would be nice. He was their prime candidate. Their enthusiasm had almost caused him to cut and run, staying away until the festivities were over. It was Matthew who'd reminded him of how important his friendship with Dr. Mike was and he knew he'd have to stay. Figuring he might as well do it right, he'd swallowed his pride, braved the old memories and asked Loren's permission to delve into Abigail's trunk for his one and only suit. Loren had been typically gruff, grumbling and grousing and using the words 'darn fool' a lot, but he'd finally allowed him access to the trunk. Sully had almost lost his nerve at that point, but he gathered his courage and retrieved the outfit. Grace had helped him clean and press it. With trepidation he had donned the unfamiliar clothing, pushing back the memories it brought up, trying to keep Dr. Mike in mind the entire time. He picked up the gift he had made for her and headed over to the clinic, where he knew Dr. Mike had been summoned on a pretext. The townsfolk had chipped in for a sign for the clinic which Robert E had told him he was making. It was sure to please her and it was a good way of letting her know that the town finally accepted her and her doctoring. But he'd wanted to give her something himself so he'd made her these saddlebags for carrying her medical supplies when she rode out to see her patients. Suddenly the gift seemed painfully inadequate. But the look on her face when she saw him told him he'd done the right thing. And she loved the gift -- she used it all the time back home. And they'd shared their first kiss ... the kiss she'd later called her 'best gift'... Sully returned to the present to find Colleen and Matthew smirking at him.
"Ya okay, Sully?" Brian asked worriedly. "Y' looked like you were gonna be sick!"
Embarrassed, Sully resumed walking. "Let's go." He was feeling uncomfortable again. Uncomfortable with his memories, with the way the kids were talking about Dr. Mike and William ... They didn't need to tell him that William like her -- he could see that for himself. What he was less sure of was exactly how she felt about him. The way Dr. Mike sometimes acted around men it was hard to tell ...
The children were squabbling again. Colleen wanted to visit the Art Museum and the library -- places Dr. Mike had apparently been too busy to take them. Brian wanted to go back to Beacon Hill for lunch ..."I'm hungry and the food's *good* here" he insisted. Matthew just wanted to go home -- to Colorado Springs. He couldn't understand, now that Mrs. Quinn was better, why Dr. Mike wasn't ready to go.
"Home is where the heart is, Matthew" Sully told him and pointed out that it wasn't often that Dr. Mike had an opportunity to visit her home, where she'd grown up. Now that the medical crisis had been averted, she'd want to spend some time there before going back. Even as he defended her, though, he wondered where her heart truly was.
"Well, I wanna go back with you" Matthew stated.
"Who says I'm leavin'?" Sully asked mildly. Surely Dr. Mike would find some time to spend with him now, since he'd come all this way. They rounded the corner and approached the house and as if at a signal, all four came to a halt. Dr. Mike stood on the stoop, smiling and laughing with William. He smiled back at her and as Sully watched, took her hand and kissed it. "I'm not in any hurry" he muttered, wondering if he had his answer about Dr. Mike and William, surprised at how upset the scene before him made him feel.
After her confusion of the night before, Michaela was just as glad to leave Sully with the children for the morning. If she felt a twinge of guilt at abandoning her guest, she told herself that he had arrived uninvited and must understand that she had plans made prior to his arrival. Soon her guilt was forgotten in the exhilaration of once again doing rounds with a colleague. As she moved through the worst slums Boston had to offer, in the company of William who introduced her with courtesy and respect, old memories returned to her of the life she once hoped to have. How like her father William was, with the same compassion and gentle manner. Could it be that the opportunity for the life she'd always dreamed of was being put before her now? But ... but she had a life ... in Colorado Springs. It may not have been what she'd always dreamed of , yet in many ways it was so much more ... But William was leading her on, telling her they had one last stop. "I thought Mr. Gould was your last patient" she replied, puzzled.
"This isn't a patient" William assured her. They were climbing the steps of a narrow building and eagerly, William led her inside ...
Later, Michaela stood with William on the steps to the Beacon Hill house, thanking him for including her in his morning and blushing as he raised her fingers to his lips. His gaze was intense and meaningful as it had been when he'd showed her his new office where he intended to go into practice for himself. She'd remarked on his partners' desk, recalling the one she'd shared with her father and William had expressed his hopes for someone with whom to share his desk. "The *right* partner" he had said in a voice dripping with meaning. Her heart fluttered now as she thought of it. He couldn't possibly have meant ... Turning her head slightly she spied Sully and the children rounding the corner, coming home for lunch. Disengaging her hand she smiled her thanks to William and promised to attend his Boston Medical Society lecture the next day. Then she quickly slipped inside, for some reason not wanting to face the others before lunch.
Part Nine
Sully had washed, amazed at the amenities city life had to offer, and now stood,
staring at the clothes that Mrs. Quinn had carefully laid out on the bed. He
had already been feeling trepidation about this little affair tonight, the last
couple of days having done nothing but reinforce the differences between his
and Dr. Mike's worlds.
Mrs. Quinn had been gracious and polite, making every effort to include him in mealtime conversations, inviting him to her birthday ball. Colleen and Brian were still themselves, albeit a trifle too "at home" here in Boston. Matthew was angry, longing to return to Colorado Springs and Ingrid. It was this new, strange Boston Dr. Mike he couldn't fathom. This Dr. Mike spoke in a cool, formal voice, addressing him as "Mr. Sully" and plying him with tea and crumpets. She'd let down her guard a little as she despaired over Matthew's anger at having to be in Boston, but soon the mask came up again and she'd turned down his suggestion for them all to spend the day together exploring and had, instead, invited him to a lecture. Sully snorted as he recalled the impeccable Dr. Hanson trying to bar him from the meeting, calling him a "heathen". Dr. Mike had tried to go head to head with the man but Sully resented their behaving as if he weren't there and decided to speak for himself. Mrs. Quinn had surprised him by backing him up, treating the good doctor to a chilly but ladylike put-down. He wasn't sure it had been really worth it, once he gained admittance, to have to sit there and watch as Dr. Mike listened, entranced, to that William expound upon diseases of the stomach. Now, tonight was the ball given in honor or Mrs. Quinn's birthday and he felt obligated to attend, if only out of respect for her hospitality and the courtesy she had afforded him.
He stared at the clothes again. He'd felt right enough in his own clothes. When he'd first arrived, Mrs. Quinn had mentioned having some of her husband's suits altered to fit him and Dr. Mike had chimed in that he might find it "easier". Easier than what? It seemed here in Boston that outward appearance was more important than what was on the inside. He remembered Dr. Mike's panic at the idea of Brian packing his favorite trousers, telling him "no patched pants in Boston". Bostonians, it seemed, would have a hard time accepting a sweet, kind boy like Brian if he wore patches, but had no trouble accepting a narrow, bigoted man like Dr. Hanson who dressed "acceptably". Sully disliked the stiff, formal wear and these garments looked even more restricting than his own seldom-worn suit. But for Dr. Mike's sake, at Mrs. Quinn's request, he was willing to give it a try. If it would make things easier for Dr. Mike, he would endure an evening in a choke collar.
As he donned the unfamiliar garments he wondered what the evening held in store.
The affair was supposed to be a ball and he knew a ball meant dancing. He'd never been much of a one for dancing -- never could seem to get the steps right. Abigail had sometimes coaxed him to the town dances, but she hadn't minded if he didn't want to dance much. Last time she'd been content just to sit and watch everyone else, but, of course, she'd been expecting then ... He stopped his thoughts right there and turned to the complicated task of tying the tie. His fingers fumbled as he gazed in the mirror, but finally he was ready. He felt foolish and a little miffed that he'd allowed himself to be bullied into this. But then he remembered Dr. Mike's face when he had dressed up for her birthday and he held himself proud and tall. He'd give that William a run for his money. He'd out-Boston the best of them. With a final tug at his tie and brush of his shoulders, he headed down to where the carriage was waiting to take them to the Holman's. He couldn't help a nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He hoped he didn't turn into a pumpkin or something.
Michaela hummed to herself as she finished getting ready for the party. Martha had helped her dress and had arranged her hair, then had bustled off to assist Mother. Michaela twirled in front of the mirror, excited at the thought of dancing. Growing up here in Boston she had been so busy with her studies and her doctoring that she had eschewed the cotillions and dances that enthralled her sisters. Once in Colorado Springs she realized she enjoyed such affairs, but the opportunities there were scant -- the Sweetheart's Dance, Founder's Day ... Miss Olive had opened that Hurdy Gurdy but she had been distracted then, helping to rescue Cloud Dancing from the soldiers. There had been that time dancing with Ethan Cooper ... for a moment she remembered what it had been like to float in his arms, but memories of his subsequent betrayal blotted out any pleasure she had found in his company.
She smiled to herself as she examined her reflection. She knew William was a good dancer. He had demonstrated that when he had taken them out that evening. She wondered how Sully was coming in his preparations. She knew Mother had taken him one of Father's suits to wear. She hoped he hadn't put up a fight about it. She sighed, praying he would behave himself and not embarrass her in front of Mother's friends. Chiding herself for that thought, she reached for her shawl and headed down the hall to check on the children. It was almost time to leave.
Sully sat near Mrs. Quinn and the children, watching couples whirl about the floor. He squirmed a little, tugging unobtrusively at the tight collar, wishing he dared scratch. The suit was itchy and smelled of camphor, despite the fact that Martha had aired it for him. Dr. Mike had given him an appreciative glance and complimented him on his attire, but beyond that she'd barely acknowledged him this evening. He'd felt pretty good when he'd thought to bring Dr. Mike a cup of punch, pushing past William who was just standing there gawping at her, but a moment later Mrs. Quinn was thanking Dr. Mike and William for her cure, claiming she owed this birthday to them. She proposed a toast in their honor, and Sully had drunk, the punch tasting like turpentine in his mouth. "To Michaela and William" he'd said, looking into her eyes. Her name felt good on his lips but he disliked pairing it with William's. Just what *was* it he was drinking to? Dr. Mike beamed at William, basking in her Ma's praise. And a moment later she was in William's arms, dancing to the music of the hired strings. They had been dancing together ever since, seemingly tireless.
Mrs. Quinn had made some pointed comments to Sully about why he wasn't dancing and had questioned his motives for coming and, it seemed, for staying. He was beginning to question that himself. Just then the orchestra played a fanfare and an enormous cake was wheeled out. The crowd began singing to Elizabeth, headed up by Dr. Mike and William. Sully suddenly recalled Matthew's words the other evening. "You don't need me here ... you haven't needed me since we got here." He knew how Matthew felt. He rose and eased to the back of the crowd as the servants began to cut and distribute the cake. He managed to find and excuse himself to Mrs. Holman, to whom he'd been introduced upon their arrival, then he slipped out the door and down the stairs, loosening his tie as he went. He would head back to the Quinn house now, but tomorrow, he would head for home.
Michaela was enjoying her cake and laughing with William when she felt a tugging at her arm. "Ma!" Brian was standing at her elbow, bearing a plate with an enormous piece of cake.
"Brian" Michaela said chidingly, "isn't that your second piece of cake? You know you're not supposed ..."
"It ain't ... it's not for me" Brian corrected himself before Michaela could do it. "It's for Sully. But I can't find him anywhere. Do you know where he is?"
"No, I don't, Brian." Michaela felt a pang of guilt. She glanced at William nervously. She had been having so much fun dancing, she'd hardly given Sully a thought. She probably should have sat out one or two dances to converse with him, to make sure he was having a good time. But then she told herself once again that Sully was the one who had turned up here uninvited. If he'd wanted to be with her he could always have cut in. Deep inside she knew this was something Sully would never do -- perhaps did not even know how to do ... but shrugging, she remembered one of Mother's favorite sayings ... "When in Rome ..." Sully would just have to adapt ...
"Oh, Michaela, there you are!" Michaela turned as her hostess bustled over, followed by Marjorie who had a knowing look on her face. With a small bow, William withdrew to allow them privacy.
"Good evening, Mrs. Holman" Michaela said politely. "This is a lovely party. You've really outdone yourself!"
Adela Holman made a dismissive gesture with her hands. "Oh really, it was no trouble. We're just so grateful that your mother is here to celebrate! Why, I've never known her to be ill. But I came to you because I was a bit concerned about your friend... Mr. ... Scully, was it? I hope he is feeling all right ..."
Looking puzzled, Michaela replied, "I suppose he is. He seemed to be earlier, that is. I ... I haven't seen him lately. In fact, Brian was looking for him to give him some cake." Brian, who was still by her side, nodded.
Marjorie could keep silent no longer. "You won't find him here" she said, a sarcastic note in her voice, "he left!"
Mrs. Holman fluttered her hands. "I didn't mean to cause trouble ... he came to me a little bit ago ... he was quite polite -- thanked me for having him and all and said he was going back to your mother's house. I offered to call a carriage for him but he refused. I hope he was not indisposed ..."
"*You're* not the one causing trouble" Marjorie stated, bitterness and scorn sounding in her voice. "It is very evident that despite the 'borrowed plumage', Mr. Sully hasn't the first idea what it means to be a gentleman!" Her penetrating gaze rested on Michaela, as if she were responsible for Sully's behaviour.
Mrs. Holman looked uneasily from one sister to the other. "Not at all, not at all" she protested nervously. "As I said, Mr. Scully was most polite. I was just concerned that he was feeling unwell and since he is your friend ..."
Michaela managed to smile at her hostess, then give her sister an exasperated look. "I'm sure he is fine, Mrs. Holman, but I appreciate your concern."
"Well, if you're sure" Adela smiled doubtfully. "I do need to get back to my other guests ..." When she had fluttered away, Marjorie turned on her sister.
"Mr. Sully's behaviour was just plain rude, and an embarrassment, if you ask me. It is clear he has no idea of how to behave in civilized society!"
"Well, I *didn't* ask you" Michaela said sharply, feeling anger at her sister and annoyance at Sully for taking off again without speaking to anyone.
"Ma?"
She had forgotten Brian was still there. "What is it, Brian?"
"Ma, d' ya think Sully's all right? Maybe we should go back t' Grandma's, too, just t' be sure!" He was clearly concerned.
Marjorie's eyes glittered. "Of course, go after him. It's probably just what he wants!"
Michaela reflected ruefully that it was probably just what he *didn't* want. "No, Brian, we must wait for your grandmother. This is her party, after all. Sully can take care of himself." Disappointed, Brian wandered off, still carrying the plate of cake.
Marjorie sniffed. "All I can say is, if Mr. Sully is an example of the kind of 'friends' you have in Colorado Springs, the selection must be very meager indeed!"
Michaela turned on her. "Marjorie, I very much doubt that that is *all* you can or will say about the matter. I have never once known you to keep your opinions to yourself! Now if you'll excuse me, I must go check on Mother!" She stalked off, tears stinging her eyes, angry at Marjorie for her interference, angry at Sully for coming here and causing this embarrassment and ... angry at herself for reasons she could not fathom. She managed to gain control of herself before approaching her mother, finding William already in conversation with her. He smiled as she approached.
"I was just telling Mrs. Quinn that it was high time for her to be going home. She still needs her rest."
"Nonsense" Elizabeth dismissed him with a gesture. "I never felt better in my life! I'm having a wonderful time and you should, too! Now go out there and dance some more!"
"Well," William glanced at Michaela, "perhaps we might enjoy another dance or two. Then I really must insist that you take her home." He held out an arm. "Shall we?"
Lowering her eyes and blushing, Michaela accepted. After all, when would she have such a chance again? Dismissing Marjorie and Sully from her thoughts, she lost herself once more in the music and the dancing. Tomorrow she would worry about Marjorie again. Tomorrow she would think about what to do with Sully.
Part
Ten
Back in his room, Sully removed his garments carefully, folding them neatly
and placing them on the bed. He reflected that rich folks sure wore a lot of
clothes. He, for one, would be glad to return to his simple buckskins and tunic.
Comfortable once again, he sat in a chair and thought about the evening gone by. Dr. Mike had looked so beautiful as she danced and smiled... He was happy for her -- happy that she'd been having such a good time. There were certainly no fancy dances like tonight's in Colorado Springs. He sighed. He'd been a fool to think that he could lure her back there when all she ever wanted was right here. Remembering how she and William had looked together, he admitted that she could probably even have the husband she wanted so bad. One thing was clear, this was her world, but it was certainly not his. He'd been aware of the covert glances sent his way and heard the whispered 'Michaela Quinn's friend' throughout the evening. Even in the borrowed clothes, he stood out as not belonging.
'Michaela Quinn's friend.' He chuckled without humor at the irony of it. He wondered how folks had come to that conclusion. For all the mind she'd paid him this evening, he might have been one of the butlers or part of the wallpaper. He thought he'd meant something to her, that they'd at least had a friendship. It appeared, however, that he just wasn't good enough for Boston. Well, he wouldn't get in her way. His feelings were swinging back and forth between hurt and anger and so lost was he in thought that at first he didn't hear the tapping at his door. Quickly rearranging his facial expression and swallowing the lump in his throat, he croaked "Come in".
The door opened slowly and he breathed a sigh of relief that it was the children and not Michaela who entered. They filed in hesitantly and stood in a row, staring at him anxiously. Brian was holding a china plate covered with a cloth napkin. He was the first to speak. "We brought ya some cake, Sully, since ya left b'fore ya could get any." He stepped forward, handed Sully the plate then dug in his pocket, producing a silver fork. "There ya go. The cake's real good. Mrs. Holman said it was okay ta bring ya some."
Sully managed a small smile. "Thanks, Brian." He took the plate. "That's real nice." He set the plate down on the dresser.
"Ya better eat it t'night" Brian advised. "We gotta return th' plate an' napkin an' fork t'morrow!"
Sully nodded and for Brian's sake took a bite of the cake. It tasted like sawdust. The children regarded him solemnly. "We're sorry ya didn't have a very good time tonight" Colleen volunteered at last.
Brian climbed up on the bed, shoving aside the clothes Sully had lain there, and sat on the edge, his legs dangling. "Maybe you'da had more fun if *you'da* danced with Ma some o' th' time ... 'steada William."
Matthew, who had been leaning against the wall by the door spoke scornfully. "Sully don't care about dancin'!"
Colleen turned on him. "He might, if he knew how!" She looked at Sully speculatively. "Do ya know how ta dance, Sully? I could teach you -- it's real easy!"
Feeling trapped, Sully lowered his eyes. "Kids, I ... I'm kinda tired right now. We can talk in the mornin'." He knew he was going to have to break the news that he was leaving, but he didn't want to do it at bedtime and he just wasn't in the mood to talk right now.
Brian hopped down from the bed. "That's all right, Sully" he comforted. "You'll feel better after a good night's sleep. That's what Ma always says. G' night. Enjoy your cake!" He and Colleen hugged Sully, then traipsed out the door after Matthew.
Sully swallowed hard as he closed the door behind them. He heard them whispering together as they clattered down the hall. They were great kids. He was going to miss them.
Michaela sat in the chair by the fire in her room, too keyed up to sleep. She reflected wryly that this had been the norm since she'd been home.
Returning from the party, she'd felt as if she were wrapped in a bubble of happiness. She had had such fun tonight ... strains of music the small orchestra had played kept running through her head. She'd never had enough time to enjoy such affairs before, but now ...
She was jarred back to the present when the papers she'd been holding in her lap began to slide off. Catching them before they slithered to the floor, she straightened them and placed them on the little table beside her. William had given her the papers to read -- they were full of medical research he had done, ideas and plans he had -- plans that, now that he was out from under the firm and controlling thumb of Dr. Hanson, he hoped to make a reality. He had again expressed his hope that the right person might come along to partner with him in his endeavors. She sighed again. William ... the solution ... or the problem?
Upon arriving home that evening she had told the children to hurry and get ready for bed and to her surprise they had complied without a protest -- in fact, without a word of any kind, not even a 'good night'. She had accompanied Mother to her room to see to it that she was comfortably settled and to be sure the evening's activities had not over-taxed her still-returning strength. She declined to join her mother in a cup of tea, claiming fatigue. In truth, she really was not ready to discuss the evening with her. She knew Mother had been pleased to see her dancing with William and she also knew she was aware of Sully's sudden departure. She had no desire to discuss either event at this time. At least not with Mother.
She moved down the hall and peeked in the children's rooms and was surprised to find them all unoccupied. Frowning in puzzlement, she entered her own chambers and was startled to find all three of them waiting for her, lined up like a welcoming committee ... only the expressions on their faces were not exactly welcoming. They were upset about something and she had a pretty fair idea what that something was. Attempting to forestall a confrontation, she said lightly, "Did you all have a good time tonight?"
She was treated to a momentary silence, then Brian replied, "It was all right, I guess."
Matthew had been more blunt. "We had a better time than *some* people."
Michaela hadn't allowed her expression to change. "You're talking about Sully, I presume?"
"Yeah, Sully" Matthew retorted. "Your *friend*? Leastwise, he's supposed to be ..."
"And so he is" Michaela replied tiredly. "I really don't think this is the time ..."
But Colleen broke in. "You didn't act like he was your friend! Ya hardly said a word t' him all night an' then he left before th' cake was served and ya didn't even notice ..."
"I ... I was aware he was gone" Michaela told her, "and I intend to speak to him about it. It was quite rude of him ..."
"Of him?" Matthew said incredulously. "What about you?"
Colleen continued, "Y' always told us t' make everyone feel welcome an' included. Ya said when we're in a group we should talk t' everyone an' not just go off with one person."
"Don't ya like Sully anymore, Ma?" Brian piped up wistfully.
"Of course I do" Michaela replied impatiently. "You children just don't understand I had certain obligations ..."
"T' who? William?" Matthew couldn't help allowing a note of disdain to show in his voice.
Colleen's voice cracked with emotion. "Sully came all the way here to see *you* an' you've hardly spoken to him or spent any time with him since he got here. Don't you have an obligation t' *him*?"
"Sully arrived here without an invitation, by his own volition, very ill-prepared to take part in our life here, and with no thought for whatever plans I may have had prior to his arrival. He cannot expect me just to drop everything I'm doing to spend time with him." There was an edge to Michaela's voice.
"Couldn't you just have danced with him?" Brian queried.
"I don't believe Sully dances. He never has at the affairs at home" Michaela remembered the dance when they were raising money for the new school. She had given Sully every opportunity to ask her to dance before accepting Ethan Cooper's invitation. "He could have asked, if he wanted to dance with me. He could have begun a conversation. It is not up to a lady to initiate such things." Michaela sounded like her mother. The children were not buying it and she knew it.
"Sully's your friend but you ignored him all night" Matthew told her. "That's not how you're supposed t' treat friends."
Michaela had had about enough. "You children are too young to understand."
Colleen replied in a low voice, "I'm old enough t' understand you hurt Sully's feelings."
"Yeah," Brian chimed in. "He seemed real sad when I brought him his cake. He hardly even touched it!"
Michaela felt it was time to take charge. It's past your bedtime" she said briskly, "and everyone is feeling cranky and tired. I don't think we need to discuss this anymore tonight!" She put a hand on Colleen's shoulder but she stiffened and drew away, putting her arm around Brian's shoulders.
"C'mon, Brian" she said. "She's right. There's no use discussin' this anymore." Brian broke away to give Michaela a quick hug, then allowed Colleen to shepherd him out of the room.
Before he left, Matthew turned to her. "I think you're just scared," he told her quietly. "You don't wanna think about why Sully really came here." He looked her full in the face, then was gone.
Now, sitting before the fire, Michaela wondered if Matthew had seen the truth of this reflected in her eyes. Deep inside she knew the children were right. But it had been such fun dancing -- William's attentions to her had made Mother happy and it was, after all, Mother's party. Sully had brought this on himself by showing up here uninvited. Still, she would make an effort to set aside some time for him in the next day or two. Crawling beneath the sheets she admitted to herself that Matthew was right. She was not at all sure she really wanted to know what had brought Sully all the way to Boston.
Part Eleven
Sully stood stiffly while a man with a pinched face -- did everyone in Boston
look like they smelled something bad? -- plucked and fussed at the suit he was
trying on. He had to admit this outfit looked -- and felt -- a lot better than
the late Dr. Quinn's hand-me-downs. It had been humiliating, though, when he'd
gone to try on the suit and the proprietor had expected him to surrender his
buckskins just like that. Matthew, perceiving the cause of his distress had
spoken quietly to the man and the problem had been solved, but Sully was embarrassed,
none the less.
"It is very nearly a perfect fit, sir, and, if I may say so, quite becoming." The salesman said through his nose.
Matthew grinned. "Ya really do look good, Sully."
"Dr. Mike's gonna *love* you" Colleen said excitedly. Realizing how that had sounded, she amended, "She's gonna love how ya look!"
Pleased, in spite of himself, Sully gazed at the stranger in the glass. "Why do rich folks gotta wear so *many* clothes?" he articulated the question he had thought of last night.
Brian shrugged elaborately. "Maybe they got th' money t' buy all these clothes an' then they gotta wear 'em all at once so they don't go t' waste!"
Sully regarded his reflection again, wondering if he looked too fine, wondering if he looked ridiculous, wondering if he could really be himself in this outfit. "I dunno kids ..."
"Take it, Sully!" Colleen urged.
"She'll love it" Matthew assured him.
"Yeah, go on, Sully!" Brian added his voice.
Sully looked at the children then turned to the clerk with a look of resignation. "All right. I'll take it."
"Very good, sir" the man did not change his expression. "What would you like me to do with your other ... ah ... garments?"
Sully looked startled. "W ... I ... I just figured I'd be wearin' 'em. I'm not gonna keep this stuff on now ... ?" He looked to Matthew for help.
Remembering their previous visit to this establishment, Matthew said confidently, "Wrap up th' new suit. He'll wear his old one home."
The proprietor raised his eyebrows. "Very good sir." It was not up to him to question his customers' proclivities.
Sully changed and allowed the new suit to be boxed up for him. He went to pay and his jaw dropped when he heard what his purchases had cost him. He just barely prevented a strangled cry from leaving his lips and only Colleen's arm locked in his kept him from fleeing the store. "Will there be anything else, sir?" the salesman said as he took Sully's money.
Sully looked at him to see if he was serious. "No!!" he said, then, more quietly, "No, thank you." He shook his head. He'd just spent half his fare back to Colorado Springs and this man wanted to sell him something else? He wondered if it had been a big mistake to allow the kids to talk him into this. He had been all set to leave, almost packed, in fact, when Matthew had convinced him that the only hold William had on Dr. Mike was that he treated her with respect as a fellow doctor. He 'flattered' her, Matthew had said. He had urged Sully to remind Dr. Mike why she went to Colorado in the first place and suggested the best place to start was to adapt to Boston, much as Dr. Mike had adapted to Colorado Springs.
He'd gone along with the plan but was suddenly filled with misgivings. He'd bought all the trappings and the kids had promised him lessons in dancing and Boston table etiquette but he wondered -- would it be enough? And most of all, would it be worth it?
Two days later Sully still wasn't sure. He was tired. He was unaccustomed to sleeping in a bed, and that, coupled with the tension he'd been feeling since he came here had made for restless nights. He was disappointed that Dr. Mike already had plans for tomorrow -- another lecture! -- but he hoped that the fact she'd invited him to attend with her meant that she hadn't grown tired of his company after the past few days.
To his surprise, he had truly enjoyed the dinner in the fancy restaurant, despite the unbelievable amount of money it had cost. Thanks to the children's patient tutelage he had known which of the many forks and spoons to use. He supposed if you didn't have to wash them, it didn't matter that there was a different one for every item on your plate. He'd even eaten "S" ... "S"-cargoes which had tasted strongly of garlic. He figured they had to do *something* to kill the taste. They weren't bad, even if he was used to garlic as more of a medicine. It was still beyond him why rich folks would pay so much for something so common. The champagne had been pretty good, too, although after drinking it he'd felt somewhat lightheaded. Maybe that's why Dr. Mike had felt like a feather in his arms as he'd whirled her round the dance floor.
He had to hand it to her, she put him entirely at ease during the meal and while they were dancing, made him feel like the best dancer in the world. He couldn't take his eyes off her all night -- he was struck speechless by her beauty. But conversation hadn't been needed. Her eyes looking into his told him everything he needed to know.
Although the evening had been a success, he felt a little dubious when the kids gathered in his room to suggest he take Dr. Mike to the opera next. All that singing in a language he couldn't even understand. Besides ... "I ain't sure I got the funds for that, kids". The kids had eyed each other, then huddled together and he could see they were starting to pool their resources. He was going to protest when Colleen suddenly said, "Wait, I got an idea!" She disappeared for a time then returned, flushed with success. "It's all taken care of!" Before Sully could question her, there was a knock on the bedroom door. Flashing a suspicious look at Colleen he went to answer it.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Sully" Elizabeth Quinn swept into the room, her eyes flicking to Colleen and quickly darting to Brian and Matthew. "Brian, we do not sit on the beds here. That's what chairs are for." Abashed, Brian hopped down from his customary spot, then remained standing. Returning her gaze to Sully, Mrs. Quinn continued, "Colleen tells me, Mr. Sully, that you have an interest in exposing yourself to some culture while you are visiting." She looked at him expectantly.
"Y... yes, ma'am, I suppose that's true." He tried to look a question at Colleen without Mrs. Quinn noticing, but she just smiled smugly and waited for her grandma to continue.
"It happens that I have tickets to this season's operas" she continued in her direct way. "Rebecca and I usually attend together. Unfortunately it also happens that, although I am recovering my strength daily, I am not quite up to such a strenuous evening, especially so soon after my birthday party. Michaela loves the opera. Perhaps you would like to accompany her tonight to a performance of 'La Traviata'."
"I ... that's very kind of you, ma'am. I'd like that." Sully was stunned. Dr. Mike's mother was suggesting that *he* take her out?
"Good." Mrs. Quinn handed him an envelope. "Here are the tickets. I will arrange for the carriage to transport you there and back."
"Thank you" Sully managed as Mrs. Quinn prepared to depart.
At the door she turned to face him. "This is the type of entertainment Michaela was used to when she lived here, Mr. Sully. It is part of what she gave up when she moved West. Perhaps you will gain more of an appreciation of what she was accustomed to before she left here. Perhaps you will realize why it is so hard for her to leave now." Abruptly she wheeled and exited the room.
The opera had been ... indescribable. The elegant opera house, the beautiful costumes, the lovely music -- he had never seen or heard anything like it. And superimposed over it all was Dr. Mike, sitting close, leaning over and whispering to him the plot of the opera. He found her proximity breathtaking -- the sound of her soft voice in his ear, the feel of her warm breath ... and the sad story of love and parting and death. He found himself near tears by the end of the performance and it seemed only natural to leap to his feet and join in the thunderous applause. He was so overwhelmed by it all that he'd ridden the entire way home in silence. He was aware of Dr. Mike sneaking worried glances at him and he tried to find words to tell her how much he had enjoyed the evening. But they didn't come until they were back at Beacon Hill again and she was about to ascend to her room. Unfortunately, 'beautiful' was the best he could do, which didn't begin to describe what he was feeling. Maybe a walk tomorrow would clear his head enough to enable him to describe to her what the evening had meant to him -- what *she* meant to him. But no, he had agreed, instead, to go to a lecture -- one that would undoubtedly feature William. At this point, though, he would go anywhere with Dr. Mike and maybe, just maybe, they would have a chance to be alone after the lecture.
He watched as she ascended the stairs and continued gazing after her until he heard her enter her room. Then sighing, he followed up the stairs to his own room.
"Good night". Michaela hurried up the stairs, feeling Sully's eyes following her the whole way. She entered her room and collapsed, breathless, on the chair. Anticipating her return, Harrison had lit the fire and she stared into the flames, her heart beating rapidly, her thoughts all in a jumble.
It had been so wonderful to attend the opera again. She had been surprised when Sully invited her but then, he had been full of surprises these past few days. His arrival at dinner the other night in a brand new suit had shocked and, yes, pleased her. He cut a very handsome figure and looked taller, somehow, as he joined them at the table. Mother, of course, was suspicious of his motives. She sighed. But then, Mother had her own motives. If she was quite honest with herself, Michaela knew she had to admit she wondered why Sully was suddenly being so attentive ... inviting her out to dinner, the opera ...
Sully had eaten escargots and drunk champagne as if he'd done it all his life -- and then the dancing ... she remembered the warmth that had seemed to exude from him as he twirled her about in his arms ... the looks they had exchanged. She felt her face growing hot as she thought about it.
She imagined the children had a lot to do with Sully's sudden transformation. She hadn't really paid much attention to them the other day, as she had been busy with her own plans to accompany William on his hospital rounds. The hospital ... it had grown and changed in two short years and William was hopeful that attitudes were beginning to change, as well. He had hinted that with the proper endorsement she might once again find herself a welcome member of the staff. They needed doctors like her, he had insisted.
Needed ... that's what Sully had said that night at dinner. She had work for which she was needed in Colorado Springs. Was that the purpose behind all this -- the clothes, the dinner, the opera? He wanted her to come back to continue her learning from Cloud Dancing so she could tell the world about the Indian medicine -- was that all he wanted?
But right here in Boston William had arranged for her papers on the dandelion tea to be published. She had tried again and again to publish her findings on Cheyenne medicine, only to be rejected every time. She had lunched with William just this afternoon and he had urged her to consider staying in Boston for awhile. Not all doctors believed as Dr. Hanson did and he was confident there would be openings for her here. She wouldn't always need to practise primitive medicine on the frontier. There were sure to be plenty of doctors to fill her place there ...
William had invited her to the opera tonight too, but having already accepted Sully's invitation, she'd had to turn him down. Disappointed, he had continued, "Well, then, I'd like you to attend my Boston Medical Society lecture, tomorrow. You *must* come! I ... I have a little surprise planned and I'd like you to be there."
Smiling, Michaela had acquiesced. She hadn't seen William this evening, though he'd said he'd be there, but then, she'd been very involved in narrating the plot of the opera to Sully. On the way to the opera house she had tried to give him some idea of what would be happening on the stage. Looking dubious, he had remarked, "Are all operas so depressin'?"
"Many of them are," she had replied. "There are a few that are cheerful or even funny, but I'm afraid 'La Traviata' is not one of them." Sully had nodded his understanding. Later, on the way home, he'd been so silent that she was afraid he had not enjoyed the evening at all, but now he had just told her that he thought it was 'beautiful', and he'd seemed quite sincere.
Michaela sighed, again. Narrating the opera to Sully, she had been struck by Violetta's plight -- how she fought her feelings of love -- how she wondered if, in order to be free, she must be alone. Michaela had always been fiercely independent. She'd had to be to break into a man's world. Still, she had always hoped for marriage and a family. She had the family ... she wondered if it would be possible to have it all. These last few days had caused her to consider the possibility of William as a suitor. He hadn't *really* said anything -- it was much too soon for that, of course. But there had been certain looks, a tone of voice, an implication in things he had said. He was certainly what Mother would call a 'good match'. He was kind, considerate, gainfully employed -- he could open up new worlds for her in the medical field. And he lived right here in Boston.
These were desirable attributes, certainly, but were they enough? How did she really feel about William? There was a warm friendship that had grown up between them as they had worked together to save Mother's life. He made her feel good about herself, he accepted her. He was a fellow physician and rather than turning up his nose and treating her as a pariah, he had accepted her as a colleague, had given her respect and had accepted her knowledge and use of Indian medicine, as well. And, she knew instinctively, he also appreciated her as a woman. What more could she ask? Just because he didn't stir certain feelings in her ... Were feelings really all that important?
She had to admit, no one made her feel like Sully. But Sully had made his position pretty clear. Her mind raced back to an incident last spring when Colorado Springs had been visited by a photographer, Daniel Watkins. He'd agreed to photograph the whole town and Sully had been assisting him. She remembered that Brian had begged Sully to be in their family portrait but he had refused, saying he wasn't really family. Brian had been crushed and in truth, she had been disappointed, as well. Sully had certainly been like family to them, but it was Sully's decision and she had to allow him his choice. Later, on the day appointed for the town photograph, Sully had taken her aside to speak to her about it. She remembered the talk as if it were yesterday ...
["I couldn't be in that picture. I'm sorry I disappointed Brian."
"That's all right" (He wasn't the only one, Sully)
"I know I'm not family but, truth is, I care about all of you very much..."
"I know." (As far as we're concerned, you *are* family!)
"...especially you."
(why can't you say what you mean, Sully?)
"That night I kissed you ... I know it was your birthday an' all ... but ... I meant it."
"I know" (but why haven't you kissed me since then?) " ... and it was the nicest gift I got ..." (please tell me it was more than that) "but... that's all it has to be ... a birthday gift." ( is that *really* all it was?)
"If things were different ... if we weren't so different ..."
(We're not all that different, at least in ways that matter, are we?)
"I'm just not ready, yet."
(Oh, Sully, will you *ever* be ready?) "Neither am I, Sully. I ... care about you too ..." (can't you see I love you?) "...very much."]
As it turned out, the photograph had been taken several days later and Sully had posed standing beside her, his arm around her. After that things had seemed different between them, closer somehow. But he still hadn't put anything into words and she was beginning to doubt whether he ever would. In another honest moment, Michaela wondered what her reaction would be if he did.
Hearing the clock on the landing chime, Michaela was startled at how late it had become. Tomorrow was the lecture that William had adamantly insisted she attend, saying he had a particular reason for wanting her to be there. Tonight when they'd arrived home, Sully had asked her to take a walk with him tomorrow and she'd had to say no. With trepidation, she'd invited him to accompany her once again, not sure he'd want to after his treatment at the last lecture. But he'd agreed more readily than she'd expected. Perhaps they could walk home together afterwards.
She prepared for bed as thoughts tumbled about her brain. As she crawled between the sheets, she couldn't help but wonder what the future held for her ... William? Sully? Solitude? Or some unknown yet to present itself? If only she could know ...