For personal use and select distribution only © by Judith A., October 2006

No Greater Burden
By Judith A.

Chapter Thirty-Five | Chapter Thirty-Six

The trip home went much faster and was far less eventful than the journey to the reservation. Having fallen more than two weeks behind their original schedule, they decided to make up time by riding for long days, without a break, stopping only to rest the horses and for a few hours of sleep each night. The long, hot days in the wagon were taking a toll on their spirits and their stamina, leaving them, especially the children, tired and irritable. However, whenever they contemplated resting for an entire day to relax and replenish their reserves, they unanimously decided to continue riding. After nearly six weeks away from home, everyone was anxious to return to Colorado Springs, to their homes, work, and friends.

The flat, endless sea of grasslands had grown on the travelers during their time in Oklahoma. Gradually, they had developed an appreciation for the wide open spaces, the seemingly limitless horizon, and the multitude of different varieties of grasses that could be found on the prairie. Yet, when the first sight of the Rocky Mountains in the distance came into view, they felt their hearts quicken and their energy rise with affection and eager anticipation. None of them were sorry to exchange the monotonous plains for the rich diversity of the Colorado landscape.

After four days of hard riding through Oklahoma and Kansas, they were now only two days outside Colorado Springs. It was late afternoon when Sully pulled up on the reins to slow the wagon. Though there were still several hours of daylight remaining, they had one very important stop to make before continuing the final push toward home.

Michaela glanced over at him with a quizzical expression on her face. "Why did you stop? I thought you'd want to ride at least a few more hours."

"We made a promise ta Joe," Sully said, bringing the wagon to a complete stop.

Michaela's eyes narrowed in confusion then, after a moment, they widened in comprehension. "Wolf's grave," she murmured.

Brian rode up alongside the wagon. "Pa, why are we stopping?"

"We're gonna camp here tonight," Sully told him, as he jumped down from the wagon. "We promised Joe we'd stop at Wolf's grave on the way home."

"That's a relief," Dorothy said, overhearing their conversation. "I wasn't going to complain, but I could use more than a few hours of rest."

"We all could," Michaela agreed, smiling in sympathy at her friend's discomfort.

Katie had crawled to the front of the wagon and was now standing behind her mother. "We're stopping?"

Josef stood up and stared down at his father. "You remembered."

"'Course I did." Sully lifted the boy to the ground. As he did, he felt Josef's arms wrap around him in a tight hug of gratitude. Moving to the other side of the wagon, he helped Katie down, then assisted his wife, before making his way to the back to remove the bedrolls, a cooking pot, and plates and cups, only those items they would need for the night.

While Sully and Brian took care of the horses, Michaela and Dorothy set up their camp. With everything ready for the evening, it was time to pay their respects to Wolf. Dorothy decided to take advantage of the privacy by walking to the nearby creek for a bath. She wanted nothing more than to wash off the dirt and grime from several days of hard traveling.

The Sully family walked up the incline to the ridge where Wolf was buried. Katie held tight to her mother's hand, nervous to be retuning to such sad memories. Josef clutched the drawing he intended to leave for Wolf with one hand while his other hand wound around his father's fingers. Trapper, who had become quite attached to Josef since leaving the reservation, remained close to his side. Brian walked beside Sully, pleased they had made this stop for Josef, and for all of them.

Since they had laid Wolf to rest, the trees had filled out into a leafy canopy covering one side of the grave with shade. The other side was carpeted with a colorful assortment of summer flowers.

"It's pretty here. Look at all the flowers," Katie said, letting go of her mother's hand to get a closer view.

"They are lovely," Michaela said, admiring the droopy red and yellow heads of the columbine.

Sully, too, was moved by how beautiful and serene the setting was. He found comfort in how the Rocky Mountains, directly across the ridge, appeared to be watchful guardians of the grave. "I chose this spot special for Wolf. Thought he'd like it here."

"I still wish we could have buried him at home," Katie said. "That way it would be easier to visit him."

Michaela came to stand beside her daughter, placing her hand on her back. "Sweetheart, how would you like to plant a tree for Wolf when we get home? That way, we can visit him as often as we like and think of him as we watch it grow. It can be a special remembrance for Wolf."

"Could we?" Katie asked excitedly.

Sully gave Michaela a warm smile of appreciation. "That's a real good idea."

"It is," Brian said. "We'll pick out something special, just for him."

Josef sat on the ground with Trapper by his side staring at the spot he remembered his father lowering Wolf into. The conversation around him was drowned out by his thoughts of Wolf. He was lost in his memories of that day in the woods when he followed the tracks. The day everything had changed. Eventually, the rest of the family joined him in quiet contemplation. They each silently stood by the gravesite paying their respects to their beloved friend and finding comfort in the vibrant, yet solemn, surroundings.

After a time, Michaela took Katie's hand and turned to her son. "If you want, we can give you some time alone to say goodbye to Wolf. We'll wait for you at the bottom of the ridge."

Josef looked back and forth between his mother and his father. He wanted to speak to Wolf alone, but he was also scared. "Papa, will you stay with me?"

Sully crouched down next to him, caressing the back of his head. "'Course I will." He turned to his wife. "Go on back ta the campsite. We'll meet ya back there when we're done."

Michaela nodded in agreement. "We'll start supper."

Sully sat on the ground next to his son and crossed his legs in front of him. He stroked Trapper's head, but he didn't say a word, letting his presence serve as the comfort and reassurance his son needed most.

"Wolf," Josef began then he looked to his father for guidance.

Sully gently rubbed his back. "Say what ya feel, son. There's no wrong words."

Josef turned back toward the ground. "I'm sorry, Wolf. I know you tried to warn me to go back. I'm sorry I didn't listen. Papa told me to listen to you, but I didn't." Josef swiped at the tears on his face. "Thank you for saving my life. I love you." He buried his head in his hands and cried.

Listening to his son brought his own loss rising to the surface. Sully battled to keep his emotions buried deep inside where he had locked them away after Wolf's death. This stop was for Josef; his son needed to say goodbye and let go of his guilt. His father was there to help him, not add to his burden. Sensing he wasn't finished, Sully continued to rub his back while murmuring comforting words of encouragement. As his tears ebbed, Josef reached for the small roll of paper he had brought with him. He slipped off the string that tied it together, and smoothed out the drawing on the ground.

Sully breathed in appreciation. "That's amazin', Joe," he said, blinking back tears. It was a simple drawing of Josef and Wolf running in the woods together, but his son had managed to portray the very essence of Wolf. The picture wasn't of just any gray wolf. It was Wolf. His son had captured Wolf, the friend, for that was what Sully had always considered Wolf, a friend. Both of them had looked out for each other, and Wolf had extended that friendship to his son. As he gazed a little longer at the drawing, he could also see the pure joy the two of them felt when they were playing. Sully was moved.

"You really like it?" Josef was pleased.

"Yeah, I do," Sully said, unable to pull his eyes away from the picture. "I'd like you ta draw one for me when we get home."

Josef smiled up at his father before turning back to Wolf's grave. He placed the drawing under a rock and smoothed down the edges that had curled around it. "I'm leaving this here for you to remember me. Please don't be mad at me, Wolf. I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

"He knows that, Joe," Sully interrupted. "He's not mad at ya."

Josef stroked Trapper's head. "Thank you for sending me Trapper. No one'll ever replace you, Wolf. But, I promise, I'm gonna take real good care of him. I promise I'll always listen to him. And, he'll take care of Papa, too, just like you did." When Josef finished, he leaned into his father's arms.

Sully swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat and drew Josef into his lap. He wrapped his arms around him, rocking him back and forth as his son cried. "I'm real proud of you."

Josef raised his tear streaked face to his father. "You are?"

"Real proud," he said, kissing his forehead. "I'm proud of all you learned from Wolf's death. I'm proud of how ya saved Trapper's life an' took care o' him."

Josef hugged his father even tighter. "Running Wolf told me I'd feel better about what happened to Wolf if I helped people…and animals."

"Do ya?"

"A little."

Sully placed his finger under his chin and lifted Josef's face to his, wiping away the moisture with his thumb. "Runnin' Wolf's right. What happened ta Wolf is always gonna hurt, but in time, the pain won't be as bad. What's important are the lessons ya take from this. Ya learned a lot that you're already usin'. I'm real proud o' that. And, most of all, I'm proud of how ya stood behind Runnin' Wolf, helped Eyes Like the Sky, and all ya learned from the Cheyenne. Ya got a good heart, Joe. Trust it."

"Can we go back and visit them again?"

"I'd like that."

Josef snuggled closer, pushing his face against his father's chest. "I love you, Papa."

"I love ya, too, Joe," Sully said, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "Ya ready ta go back ta the campsite for supper." Josef nodded and crawled out of his father's lap. Sully rose to his feet, wiped the dirt from his buckskins, and with one long last look at Wolf's burial site, he took Josef by the hand, and together, they walked back to join the rest of their family.

* * *

By the time Sully returned to the campsite with Josef, the misery that had been stirred up by visiting Wolf's grave surged through him, raw and full of pain. It had taken all of his strength not to break down alongside his son at the burial site as they said their final goodbyes to their friend. Given how hard it had been for Josef to let go of his guilt, Sully knew he would be plunged back into despair if he witnessed the depth of his father's grief.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of anguish. Hours later, while his family slumbered, Sully was still awake. His acute sense of loss, that had been adeptly kept hidden from view, now screamed for release. Disjointed images of Wolf, Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne tormented him, making sleep impossible. He yearned to turn his mind off and fall into oblivion. Instead, he resigned himself to another sleepless night and got up.

The night brought an early hint of fall into the air and Sully placed several logs on the fire, hoping warmth was all he needed to still his trembling body. As his tortured eyes watched the wood crackle and burn, the flames jumping and twisting in their fiery dance, he found no relief for his disquieted mind. He eventually surrendered to a desperate urge to walk off his restless thoughts. After assuring himself that Michaela was sleeping soundly, he took off into the woods, intending to return before any of his family awakened. Though he set out wandering aimlessly, his steps directed him, like a needle on a compass, toward Wolf's grave.

When he reached the ridge where Wolf had been laid to rest, Sully sat with his back to the grave, his legs crossed in front of him and his chin resting in the palm of his hand. Directly across from him were the Rocky Mountains. He found comfort in how they changed color in the darkness and appeared to be solemn watchmen over his friend. Alone in the middle of the night, for the first time since Wolf's death, Sully finally allowed himself to feel his grief. In his worry about Josef, the challenges of getting to the reservation, his discord with Brian and then Cloud Dancing, and the revelation about Running Wolf, his mind had been preoccupied, distracting him from fully absorbing the intensity of his loss. Here at the gravesite, those other concerns resolved, the depth of his emotions erupted from deep within, like a geyser.

Wolf had been a true friend to him. He came along at a time in his life when he was lost and completely alone. After the death of Abigail and Hannah, Sully convinced himself he didn't need anyone. In truth, he never needed anyone more. Along came a tiny orphaned wolf pup, who had also been left alone. Together they healed each other. Through his love, loyalty and companionship, Wolf eased his loneliness, opened his heart, and guided him toward the Cheyenne. Living among the Cheyenne had changed Sully's life, and those changes directed him along a path that led him to Michaela, who would give him the love and family he had been searching for all his life. Wolf had been a part of that family.

Apart from Cloud Dancing, Sully had never known a better friend than Wolf. It seemed a cruel irony that he nearly lost both of these dear friends in a matter of weeks. Sitting here now, his grief over the loss of Wolf mingled with the pain of leaving Cloud Dancing behind on the reservation. While Cloud Dancing was alive and their friendship back on solid ground, he felt profound sadness at having to say goodbye. With so many miles between them, Sully was no longer able to help his friend survive or contribute to a new future for the Cheyenne. Seeing him again only served to reinforce how much he missed having him in his life in Colorado.

Having made only a few true friends throughout his life, Sully knew the value of the precious gift of friendship. When he first set out on this journey, he never expected it would end as a testament to friendship. With Wolf, Cloud Dancing, and Running Wolf, Sully had his long-held principles tested, shaken up and, in the end, strengthened. The many losses in his life taught him how suddenly and permanently a loved one could be taken away. It seemed such a waste to spend time, which should be treasured in the company of friends, nursing grudges or encased in pride. The near loss of friendship with both Cloud Dancing and Running Wolf showed how easily disagreements, miscommunication, and skeletons from the past can form seemingly impenetrable divides. That they were all able to move forward, in friendship, reinforced for him how healing bridges could be built out of mutual respect and a willingness to let go of past mistakes and resentments.

Sully stared at the ground for a long time, remembering. So many memories of Wolf and of Cloud Dancing enveloped him. The longer he sat reflecting on his past with his two friends, he took solace in knowing that he could visit with Cloud Dancing again. It was difficult to accept that he would never see Wolf again, never toss him a scrap of food, scratch him behind the ears, track with him, or watch him perform an act of heroism. He trembled at the tragic twist of fate that Wolf's last heroic feat was in saving the life of his son.

Sully turned away from the mountains to face the spot where Wolf lay and spoke into the night. "Thank ya, boy. You were a real good friend ta me. I appreciate how ya always looked after Michaela and the kids, too."

Tears that had been held at bay for weeks now began to fall, forming shiny rivulets down his cheeks. Sully brushed the moisture from his face and eyes while he continued speaking. "Thank ya for savin' Josef's life. I know ya tried ta warn 'im an' he didn't listen. Your death taught him a real important lesson. I'm sorry it had ta happen like that, but I wanted ya ta know that Joe's grown up a lot these past few weeks. Your sacrifice is gonna make him a better man. Thank ya for that."

Sully brought his fists to his eyes, clearing them again before returning his intense gaze to the grave. "I don't know how ta say goodbye ta ya." Overcome with emotion, he inhaled a shuddering breath and moistened his throat. "I'm not gonna say goodbye. I'll always carry ya with me in here." Sully rested his hand over his heart. "I love ya, boy. You rest easy." Having run out of words, Sully kept his eyes riveted to the ground. Drops of water fell from his eyes, dotting the dirt like raindrops. With his vision blurred, he lowered his head into his hands and wept.

Eventually the tears subsided and his breathing calmed. Breaking through the darkness of his sorrow was a light of gratitude that he was no longer alone. He had a family. Sully had never been closer to anyone in his life than he was to Michaela. His wife was his best friend, his heart song, and his lover. Sully was certain he couldn't have gotten through Wolf's death, and all the other heartaches that transpired on this trip, without her by his side. Reflecting on his marriage, he knew it hadn't always been easy. Both of them sometimes let their stubborn independence crack their solid foundation. But, he knew the work they had done to make it through each inevitable period of adversity had strengthened their bond and melded them together, tighter than ever.

During the hours he sat in silent contemplation, the inky darkness had given way to a smoky predawn grayness. The birds had just voiced the initial notes of their morning song. The sounds signaled that it was time to return to the campsite and prepare for another long day of travel. When Sully shifted his position in an attempt to get up, his joints shouted in protest as every fiber in his body had grown stiff from sitting immobile for so long in the chilly night air. Taking a deep breath, he tried again, rising up on his heels. Before reaching his full height, he heard footsteps behind him. Quickly swiping at his wet cheeks, he swallowed the lump in his throat then turned around to face the only person who would know where to find him at this early hour.

Michaela noticed Sully's red rimmed eyes and his pale face, reflecting more sadness than anyone should have to bear. She wasn't surprised by his appearance, nor by the clearly defined tear tracks staining his face. When she woke without him by her side, she immediately knew where he had gone. For a long while, she remained on her bedroll, giving him time alone to grieve. As the sky turned progressively lighter and he still hadn't returned, she decided to go to him, hoping he might accept her comfort and support.

"I thought I'd join you," Michaela began, hesitating for a moment. "Unless you'd rather be alone."

Her voice carried incredible warmth and Sully wanted to wrap himself up in it like a blanket. Meeting her eyes, he held out his hand for her. "I been alone long enough. I need ya with me."

Michaela cleared the small space between them, reached for his offered hand and lowered herself to the ground beside him. She closed her fingers warmly around his and brought their joined hands into her lap. They sat quietly in the peaceful surroundings with their hands linked together listening to the birds sing their opening chorus of the day. At seeing Sully so distraught, she was at a loss for words to comfort him.

Sully felt her love and support flow through him. Eventually he opened up. "Sittin' here with Joe earlier…it all hit me at once."

Michaela squeezed his hand. "Sully, it's important for you to grieve for Wolf. You've been so worried about Josef and preoccupied by everything that's happened on this trip that you haven't been able to feel your pain. Wolf's death was an enormous loss for you."

"I didn't wanna upset Josef." He spoke with his face turned toward the mountains, afraid that meeting her eyes would bring a new round of tears.

"Josef knows what Wolf meant to you. Why else do you think he lied to us and postponed telling us what really happened? He was terrified you'd blame him and never forgive him."

"I don't blame Joe. I know it was a terrible accident."

"I know you do, but Josef blamed himself. Being able to sit here with you while he said goodbye to Wolf was exactly what he needed. It helped him immensely to be reassured of your love and to know that you're proud of him. I could tell how much better he felt when the two of you returned. I could also see the toll it had taken on you, bringing Wolf's death to the forefront."

"I'm all right."

Michaela reached over and placed her hand against his back in a comforting gesture. "No you're not Sully, and that's all right."

Sully was quiet for several moments. Her touch brought fresh pools of water to his eyes that he struggled to keep from spilling over. "I miss 'im," he said, his voice catching in his throat. "The closer we get ta home, the harder it gets. Bein' at the reservation, I could imagine it's not real...that when we get home, he'll be there, jumpin' up, happy ta see us, an' lickin' the kids' faces. Seein' his grave reminded me that's not gonna happen. When we get back, it'll be real ta me in a way it hasn't been 'til now."

Listening to the agony in his voice, Michaela remained silent and full of attention, as she continued gently rubbing his back. "Home has so many reminders of Wolf. I know I'll worry more about you when you go out without him by your side. He was your guardian angel. He kept you safe. He kept our entire family safe."

Sully lowered his eyes to the ground and nodded. "Even in the end," he whispered. His voice was so low she could hardly hear him.

"Even then," she agreed. Michaela brought her arm around him and felt her husband slump into her. "Sully, you've suffered a great loss. Wolf was your close friend. I expect you to grieve for him. I also expect that grief to be magnified by the absence of Cloud Dancing from your life and what's happened to Running Wolf and the rest of the Cheyenne."

With her body so close to his, the warmth of her arm across his back, and her consoling words, the tears he tried so hard to contain, began to overflow. This time Sully didn't try to hide them. He had lost a good friend. It hurt. Michaela understood that and provided him a safe haven to share his grief.

As soon as she saw his eyes well with water, Michaela drew him to her, wrapping her arms securely around him as his head dropped onto her shoulder. For several minutes, Sully cried in her arms, his shoulders rising and falling with each wracking sob. Michaela held him tight, occasionally stroking his back or caressing his head. No words were spoken. Michaela knew Sully needed to release his grief in a place where he felt safe and loved. She continued to hold him, her own eyes brimming from the depth of his despair, as another wave of violent sobs caused his body to tremble. Sully wept for a long time, the moisture from his eyes soaking the material of Michaela's blouse. When it seemed the tears had ebbed, Michaela whispered into his ear how much she loved him and reminded him of how much Wolf loved him. After taking several shuddering breaths, he told Michaela how much he loved her, while continuing to hold onto her as if she were a lifeline he was afraid of losing.

After lingering in her arms a little while longer, Sully finally pulled back and caressed the side of her face. "Thank you…for bein' with me…an' for holdin' me."

Michaela tenderly stroked his cheek, the shadow of a beard rough against her fingers. "You're welcome. I wish there was more I could do to ease your pain."

He gazed directly into her eyes, never wavering, even though his own eyes brimmed. "You have, by bein' here with me. I'm not alone anymore Michaela. For the longest time, it was just me an' Wolf. I'm gonna miss 'im, 'specially when we get home, and the first time I go out huntin' without 'im. I miss Cloud Dancin', too. I'm real sad, but I keep thinkin' 'bout how much I got. I don't think I could get through this loss if it weren't for you…if I didn't know you were beside me, lovin' me, supportin' me."

Michaela brushed the tears from his face with her fingertips. "I'll always love you, stand beside you, and support you." Following such an emotional release, Sully felt drained and depleted. He remained on the ground, his arm around his wife, both of them staring out at the mountains that were cast in a pink hue, the sun lighting them from behind. "It might help some if you talked about Wolf."

"Like what?"

"Anything you want to share. Are there any stories about the two of you that you haven't told me?"

"I told ya how we got together." Sully's breathing had almost returned to normal making him reluctant to stir up memories that could unleash his emotions again.
"You've known 'im nearly fifteen years, Michaela. You know most o' what I know."

Michaela persisted, believing that talking about Wolf would help Sully heal. "What's your fondest memory of Wolf from before we met?"

Sully remained quiet for a time as snapshots of Wolf came into his mind. He turned his head slightly to face Michaela. "I'm not sure it's my best memory, but Wolf made it easier for me ta fit in with the Cheyenne."

Michaela was intrigued. "How?"

"At the time, the Cheyenne didn't have much experience with whites and most o' what they did have was bad. When I was first in their camp, the tribe was suspicious of me. Havin' Wolf made it easier for them ta trust me. The Cheyenne revered wolves. Seein' one so loyal ta me gave me a status few white men ever had. I'll always be grateful ta Wolf for leadin' me ta the Cheyenne."

Michaela leaned her head against his. "So will I."

"There was this one time I thought he might leave for good," Sully said, his voice gaining strength. To his surprise, it was helping to talk about Wolf with Michaela.

"Why?"

"He was in love," Sully said, chuckling.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he started spendin' time with this other wolf. She was Pup's ma. I wouldn't see 'im for weeks at a time. I thought for sure he was gonna join up with 'er pack. I had gotten used ta 'im by then. I didn't wanna lose 'im, but I also wanted 'im ta be happy."

Michaela leaned her body into his. "He didn't leave, though, did he?"

Sully smiled for the first time all night. "No, he came back. Suppose she just wasn't the right one." He laughed lightly from the memory. He drew Michaela even closer and laid his face alongside hers. "Then this other time…"

Sully continued to share stories about Wolf with his wife until the light in the sky told them it was time to return to the campsite and commence the day's journey.

* * *

It was the end of another long day of travel. Michaela sat cross-legged on the ground brushing out her hair and watching the bats in the evening sky as they dived for insects, ducking now and then when one grazed the top of her head. Sully returned from washing up by the stream and sat down behind her, securing her in the vee of his legs. Without uttering a word, his fingers moved over hers to remove the brush from her hand. He gently pulled the brush through her hair that had become tangled and windblown from a day of hard riding. Occasionally, he paused to untangle a knot with his fingers, letting the hair trail through his hands. Michaela closed her eyes and relaxed as the brush did its work, the evening air soft around them. By the time he finished, he put down the brush and arranged her hair so it cascaded down her back and shoulders. Then he moved the mass of her hair to one side and kissed the nape of her neck, causing her to arch against him.

"We should be home sometime tomorrow," Sully whispered against her ear, his breath warm.

"Mmm…" Michaela replied. Sully's attention had made her lax against his chest, rendering her pliable to his touch. "This is nice." With her eyes closed, she listened as the wind softly whispered through the trees.

"It is." He lightly massaged her shoulders, enjoying the tranquility of their last night in the woods. "Ya lookin' forward ta gettin' back ta the clinic?"

Michaela opened her eyes and sat up straighter. "I am. I've missed it."

"Ya did a lot o' good at the reservation."

"I'm glad I was able to help them. But, I'm looking forward to being home."

Sully continued to knead her shoulders. "Thank you," he said, before placing a light kiss on her cheek.

Michaela turned her head slightly to catch his gaze. "For what?"

"For everythin'. For thinkin' o' this trip, for agreein' ta continue on after Josef got lost, for helpin' me deal with losin' Wolf, and for sayin' you'd stay with me."

"I'll always stay with you." She leaned back, reaching her hand behind her to caress his face.

"And I'll always stay with you," Sully affirmed before placing a kiss on her palm.

"I want to ask you the same question I asked the morning we awoke in the cave, before we learned about Running Wolf. Did this trip give you what you wanted?"

Sully encircled her waist with his arms as he considered the question. "I got most o' what I wanted and some o' what no one could want."

"I know," she said, as her mind drifted back to Wolf's violent death, the conditions on the reservation and the horrifying day when they learned about Running Wolf. Michaela felt goose bumps on her skin from the memories, and from the coolness of the Colorado night that put a sudden premonition of fall into the air.

Sully felt the crisp air on his skin and wrapped his arms more securely around her. The heat of their bodies, so close together, warmed them. "It was good seein' Cloud Dancin' again. Before all the trouble with Runnin' Wolf, it was the same as always. It don't matter how much time passes. When we see each other, it's like it was yesterday."

"That's because you're true friends. You carry each other in your hearts. Time and distance don't matter."

"Came so close ta losin' it."

Michaela ran a hand down his arm, laced her fingers through his and squeezed tight. "No you didn't, Sully. In the end, neither of you would have let that happen."

"This trip was everythin' I ever wanted for the kids. They got ta know the Cheyenne and appreciate 'em. From now on, they'll know what I'm talkin' about."

"This trip has given them a frame of reference to absorb what we tell them. It's made the Cheyenne real to them in a way I don't think anything else could."

Sully paused to listen to the sound of nature. The crickets, the birds and the rustling leaves always brought him back to a purer state of man. Somewhere far above them in the forest, an owl was calling. "Despite everythin' I'm glad we got ta know Runnin' Wolf an' Night Crane."

"I am, too." She leaned her head back, resting it in the crook of his neck. "Sully, remember that first morning in the cave, when you were concerned about leaving because you felt there was something you still had to do?"

"Yeah," he said, unsure where she was going with this.

"I believe you were meant to stay and help Running Wolf by convincing Cloud Dancing of his desire for atonement."

"I didn't do much," he said.

"That's where you're wrong. As you always do, you listened to Running Wolf with an open mind, and though it didn't seem like it at the time, you made a difference in how Cloud Dancing viewed him. I believe you helped save his life."

Sully was moved by her words, but unwilling to accept the credit. "Night Crane did the most."

"That may be, but you still made a difference." She paused to nestle closer against her husband. "I'll miss them. They became good friends to us. It feels like we've known them forever."

Sully held her more securely in his arms. "In some circumstances, a few weeks can be a lifetime. We'll visit them again someday."

"I'd like that." Michaela held his hand flat against her palm admiring his fingers. She loved his hands, their gentleness and their strength. "Do you have any regrets about not staying?"

He curled his fingers around hers. "No. Our stayin' wasn't right for us. It's just…I wanted so badly ta do something ta help the Cheyenne."

"I know you did."

Sully lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "What I regret is how things have turned out for them. It's hard ta accept that there's nothin' I can do about it."

"You are doing something."

"What's that?"

She stroked his arm. "Being their friend, teaching our children about who they are. I have to believe that if we don't forget and our children don't forget, it will make a difference in the future."

"It'll never be like it was for them."

"I'm afraid that's true." Her voice was soft in the night, hesitant and tentative. "I wish you could turn back the clock and have what you once shared with them again."

He ran his hand down her arm. "I wish the Cheyenne were still in Colorado, livin' free, the way they used ta, but I wouldn't wanna turn back time. What I got now is so much more than I had back then. I wouldn't give it up for anythin'."

She turned in his arms and held him with her eyes. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Sometimes, it don't feel right havin' so much an' bein' so happy when they have so little. My life with you an' the kids is so much more than I ever dreamed of. It just seems as things got better for me, it got worse for them."

She cupped his face in her hand. "You do know the two aren't connected."

He gave her the faintest light of a smile. "I do."

"Sully, we can't deny ourselves happiness or joy because their situation is so desperate. It's not what Cloud Dancing would want. I feel guilty, too, but an excess of guilt that prevents us from fully living our life, dishonors the precious nature of life."

His eyes were lit with an internal flame that burned into hers. "Cloud Dancin' said there's no greater burden. We gotta let go."

She brought him into her embrace. "We need to let go of the guilt. We'll never let go of the Cheyenne. We'll honor them by living our life and loving each other, by continuing to stand up for what's right and just, and teaching our children to do the same. The best way to honor the Cheyenne is to remember."

"I'll let it go," he said, dissolving into the confidence of her embrace. After holding her close for several silent reflective moments, he whispered, "We'll live our life, keep on lovin' each other." Sully pulled back as his lips found hers for a gentle, soft kiss. "And, we'll never forget."

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