For personal use and select distribution only © by Judith A., October 2006

No Greater Burden
By Judith A.

Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine

"Are we really going home?" Josef asked his father, unsure whether he felt good or bad about that prospect. If they were going home in the morning, then he could finish what he started with Wolf by returning to the grave. But, he also knew it would be his fault if his parents abandoned the trip. That thought made him feel even worse. It seemed that everything he did to make things right only caused more trouble. He wanted to make amends with Wolf, but instead he got lost. That frightened his mother, and now, in his mind, his parents were angry with each other because of him. A weight settled on his shoulders. It seemed to him that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't do anything right.

Sully stared at Michaela as she busied herself with chores around the campsite, chores that didn't need to be done. As he watched her hectic movements, he was trying to answer the very same question his son had just asked him. After some hesitation he answered, "I'm not sure."

"It's all my fault," Josef said, his eyes watering.

Sully sat down and brought Josef onto his lap. "No, it isn't."

"We're goin' home ‘cause of me," he said, his voice shaking.

Sully cradled him in his arms, rocking him back and forth. "Joe, your ma got scared, is all. We just gotta give her some time ta calm down and see that you're all right," he said, hoping that was all it was.

"Then we're not goin' home?" Josef asked.

Sully hugged him and rested his chin on the top of his son's head as his eyes focused on Michaela. "I hope not. But, either way, we'll stop at Wolf's grave."

A clanging sound from the center of the campsite caused them to stop and turn their heads. The cooking supplies Michaela had just packed had toppled over and she was methodically gathering them back together with tense, rigid movements.

Josef returned his eyes to his father. "Are you mad at Mama?"

Sully swallowed to dampen his dry throat. "No, I'm not mad at her," pausing to figure out how to explain their argument to a child. "Joe, your ma and me don't always agree ‘bout things…like goin' home for one, but that don't mean we don't love each other. We'll figure somethin' out. Don't you worry ‘bout it. It's the same with you and all the kids. There's nothin' any of you could do ta make us stop lovin' ya. You know that don't ya?" Sully felt that reminding him of his unconditional love might encourage him to open up.

Josef sat quietly. Would Papa still love me if he knew what really happened with Wolf?

"Joe, ya wanna tell me why it was so important ta go back to Wolf's grave?" Sully studied the boy to gauge his reaction.

Josef's body became stiff and rigid. "I..I told you. I didn't want him to be mad at me."

"Why would Wolf be mad at you?"

Josef didn't know where to put his hands. He fingered his shoelaces then wiped his hands on his pants. "I didn't…I didn't say nothin' at his grave."

Sully observed him carefully. He could tell Josef was growing more uncomfortable. If he wasn't certain before, he knew now that his son was hiding something. "You sure there's nothin' else?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

Disappointed, Sully let the silence stretch out for several long moments. He didn't know whether he should question Josef anymore. After all, he had been through a lot today. At the same time, the events leading to Wolf's death had been gnawing at him and he couldn't let it go. He needed to know what happened. Tenderly, he placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "Joe, when I followed Wolf's tracks ta the cougar den, I thought I saw other tracks." Sully finally uttered the words he had been holding onto since the day Wolf died. He paused to let his words sink in.

Josef edged away from him ever so slightly, but enough to register with his father. "Another animal?"

"No, they were human tracks…smaller than an adult."

Josef felt like he was suffocating. His father had seen his tracks. His hands felt damp and clammy and his heart was pounding in his chest. Wiping his hands on his pants, he wondered, does he already know they were my tracks or is he trying to figure out whose they were? "Maybe…maybe they were…Indians."

Sully spoke slowly with measured words. He didn't want to frighten him. "No. The Indians know how ta cover their tracks. ‘Sides, this person wore shoes, not moccasins. Do ya know how those other tracks got there?"

Josef held his breath, feeling suspended in time. His eyes searched the perimeter of the campground as if there was an answer right in front of him, besides the truth, that could satisfy his father.

Sully waited, hoping he would tell him the truth. Josef's reaction alone confirmed his suspicion that the boy had been with Wolf. But he still didn't know what happened. "Joe?"

"How…how would I know?" he stammered.

Sully felt profound disappointment. Josef had never avoided talking to him before and as far as he knew he had never hidden the truth from him. It occurred to him that his timing may have been off. For now he would let it go. He would take the time to figure out a way to convince Josef to tell him what really happened. "Joe, ya know that there's nothin' you can't tell me."

Josef squirmed out of his lap. "I…I don't got nothing to…to tell," he said, dashing away from his father like he had been shot out of a cannon. His fidgeting and stuttering speech told Sully that his son indeed had something to tell him, something that weighed heavy on his mind.

Sully watched his son run back toward the tent he shared with his sister. It was clear now that Josef was keeping a secret about what happened with Wolf. He was reasonably certain the two of them were together at the cougar den, but he still didn't know how or why they went there and what really happened with Wolf. The only explanation Sully could come up with for Josef's behavior was that his son felt responsible for Wolf's death. And that was too big a burden for a little boy to carry. He needed to persuade Josef to talk about what happened. But, now might not be the right time. It was enough that his son knew he had seen his tracks. Sully would let him mull that over for a day or so, believing he would come to him when he was ready.

"What's wrong with him?" Brian had noticed his brother race away as if on fire.

"He's been through a lot today. He'll be all right," Sully answered with more hope than knowledge.

"You want me to talk to him?" Brian asked.

"Maybe later. Let's leave ‘im be today." Sully rose to his feet and started to walk back toward the center of the campsite.

"Ma says we're goin' home," Brian announced.

"I know."

"You gotta talk her out of it. No one but her wants to go home."

Sully stopped in place to face his son. "Brian, ya know as well as I do when your ma's got her mind made up ‘bout somethin', there's no changin' it."

"You gotta try!" he implored. "It's not fair that she's gonna ruin the trip for everyone."

Sully sighed. "We've all be through a lot these past two days. Let's leave it be ‘til mornin'. We'll decide then."

"If she goes back, I'm going on with you."

"Brian, I don't know what I'm gonna do yet." In truth, Sully had no idea what he was going to do. He didn't want to visit Cloud Dancing alone. More than anything, he wanted his family along. Sharing the Cheyenne with his family had been one of the main purposes of this trip.

* * *

Supper that evening was a silent affair. The only sound was metal forks scraping against tin plates. Michaela and Sully hadn't exchanged a word or even a glance with each other all evening as the tension simmered between them. Josef ate his supper without talking, afraid that a wrong word or stray comment would start his father asking questions about the tracks again.

Always quick to perceive the mood of his surroundings, Brian sensed that the rift between his parents hadn't eased. If anything, it had grown wider. In the time before supper, he noticed the absence of their usual tenderness, coupled with barely disguised sarcastic mutterings that he only ever heard when one or both were harboring resentment toward the other. He knew his mother was upset about Josef's disappearance, but he hoped she would reconsider abandoning the trip. Though he was reluctant to come along at first, Brian was now looking forward to visiting the reservation. Being out in the woods, with the opportunity to reflect upon what Cloud Dancing and the Cheyenne had meant to him growing up, made him eager to see him and his people again.

Dorothy, too, ate her supper without uttering a word. She didn't want to risk being drawn into taking sides in their argument. Truth be told, while she understood Michaela's fears, she wanted to continue with the trip. She had come this far, wrestled with her own demons, and now was looking forward to seeing Cloud Dancing again. After all, it was Michaela who had talked her into coming along and now that they might turn back, she was surprised by the sense of disappointment she felt. She was ready to see Cloud Dancing again, ready to resume their friendship.

Katie finally broke the deafening silence. She was happy her brother had come back unharmed, and in her relief, she hadn't registered the discord between her parents. Toward the end of the meal, she began peppering Josef with questions about his adventure, for now that he was back safe and sound, that's what Katie decided it was: an adventure.

At first he tried to deflect the questions to avoid falling under his father's scrutiny, but eventually he told her about following the rocks in the stream, realizing he was lost, and falling asleep under a tree. Then he told her about waking up at the Indian camp. As Josef relayed his story, Sully listened intently for any clues about the Indian family. In taking it all in, Michaela had to admit that Josef had shown good judgment in how he crossed the stream and remained by the tree waiting to be found.

"Were you scared of them?" Katie asked, taking another bite of food.

Josef shook his head. "They were real nice." Then he scooted closer to his sister and lowered his voice. "They didn't seem bad, Katie. They were just like us," he said, as if he was expecting something different.

Katie narrowed her eyes. "I know they're not bad. How are they like us?"

"They have a mama and a papa and two kids, just like us," Josef told her. He was squirming in his seat with restless energy.

"Two kids! Did you play with them?"

"No, I just wanted to get back here. ‘Sides, one was just a little baby. The other boy was bigger than me. He seemed nice," Josef explained.

"You really weren't scared at all?" Katie crossed her arms at her chest, skeptical of her brother.

"I…I guess I was a little scared when I first woke up," he admitted, as he wiggled to find a more comfortable position on the ground. "I didn't know what they were gonna do to me. The papa seemed mean and he had these long knives and a tomahawk, just like our papa. The lady kept tellin' me they were gonna try to get me back to Mama," Josef said, moving his arms around as he talked. "But I was real scared Papa wouldn't find me there."

"If you didn't play, what did you do there?"

"Nothin'."

Katie climbed on her knees leaning closer to him. "You must have done something."

"Uh…I sat in a tent. I…uh…listened to a story…and…and oh…I know…they gave me a blanket and…and food."

Katie brought her hand to her mouth. "Eww…did it taste yucky?"

"No! I liked it," Josef said. "Oh… Katie," he added, waving his arm up and down. "Katie, they spoke Indian to each other."

Brian chuckled at this exchange. "Joey, Indian's not a language. Did they speak Cheyenne?"

Josef shrugged his shoulders. "How should I know? I don't know Cheyenne."

"I'm learning," Katie said proudly. "Listen…navese'e. It means my friend."

"That's real good Katie," Brian said with a pleased grin.

"Teach me!" Josef asked. His body bounced up and down in his seat. "Teach me!"

"Mama, let's not go home," Katie pleaded. "I wanna try to speak Cheyenne at the reservation. Please."

"Yeah! And hear stories," Josef added.

"Katie, you're learning well. You and your father should keep practicing," Michaela replied, forcing a weak smile.

Throughout the animated chatter of his children, Sully finished his supper in silence. He continued to stew over Michaela's unilateral decision to return home, uncertain about how to change her mind. He was equally disturbed by Josef's refusal to tell him the truth about what had happened in the woods with Wolf. Hearing his son describe his brief experience with the Indians only reinforced the importance of making this trip. His mind was reeling and he needed time to think. After he swallowed his last mouthful of food, he set his plate aside and rose to his feet.

"I'm goin' for a walk," Sully said. His tone of voice told anyone who heard that he needed time alone.

Michaela watched him leave, pained that she was hurting him so, but resolute in her decision. It frustrated her that Sully had made no attempt to understand her position.

After supper, Michaela kept busy by washing the tin plates and cups and cleaning up the campsite, hardly exchanging a word with anyone. Brian retired early hoping that by leaving her alone, he would make it easier for Sully to convince her to change her mind, when he returned. Katie and Josef sat outside their tent playing checkers.

Dorothy grabbed a cloth and began helping Michaela dry the dishes. After a few moments, she decided to share what was on her mind. "Michaela, I know how frightened you were by Josef's disappearance, but I don't think we should go home."

Michaela clutched a plate tightly in her hands. "Dorothy, I can't spend one more day out here. First Wolf, then Josef…I'm terrified about what's going to happen next."

"You can't think like that." Dorothy moved a few steps closer. "Michaela, you talked me into going on this trip. You got me to face my fears and rise above them for the sake of my friendship with Cloud Dancing. Now, I want you to do the same thing. We're not gonna have a lot of other opportunities to visit the reservation all together. Nothing else bad is going to happen."

"You don't know that."

"No, but it's not likely. I'm asking you to think of all of us and try to get past your fears."

Michaela turned away, her back to her friend. "I'm sorry Dorothy, but I can't. I want to go home."

"Well, what if none of us will go with you? Are you just going to pack up Katie and Josef and head back alone?"

"If I have to."

"Why are you always so stubborn? Do you think turning back on your own will be safer than all of us traveling together? Michaela, you're not being rational."

She spun around to face her again. "I'm sorry you're upset with me, Dorothy. I truly am. But I'm not feeling very rational right now. Excuse me," she said, as she headed toward the children's tent.

Michaela put the children to bed and lingered a few moments longer in the tent, taking comfort in their slow and even breathing as they drifted off to sleep, relieved they were both safe. She remained in the peace and quiet of the tent a while longer, trying to shut out the day. For the first time in hours, no one was questioning her decision to return home. Gazing down at her sleeping children, she thought about how much she and Sully wanted them to meet and know more about the Cheyenne. Even the children seemed excited about learning more about the Indians. Perhaps she was overreacting. When she considered all the unknown dangers ahead of them, her chest tightened and her hands became moist. Her fear came from someplace deep inside her where logic and reason had no influence. She wanted to go home. But, before they left, she also wanted to heal the rift with Sully. She needed to talk with him and try to make him understand.

When she left the tent, she sat by the fire sipping a cup of tea as she waited for Sully to return. After such an emotional day, she needed his strength and reassurance. She hoped to make him understand that this wasn't an easy decision for her. More than anything, she hoped they could avoid going to sleep upset with one another.

Sully returned to the campsite a few hours later, expecting to find everyone asleep. Having reached no decision about what he was going to do in the morning, he walked toward the fire to continue thinking. He paused in his steps when he noticed the silhouette of his wife illuminated by the light from the flames in the fire. He drew in his breath and slowly walked toward her, taking a seat on the hard ground a safe distance apart. The silence between them stretched out like a long tunnel.

"Did you come to a decision?" Michaela asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Did you?" Sully responded.

"Sully, I wish I could agree to go on for you, but I can't. I'm sorry. I know how much this trip means to you," she said, in a thin and apologetic voice.

"No. I don't think you do," he replied, barely audible.

His accusation stung and Michaela considered her next words carefully. "You should go on without us. We'll find our way home."

Sully shifted slightly to face her. "I don't wanna go on without you. We planned this trip for a long time, Michaela. We wanted ta see Cloud Dancin' an' the Cheyenne as a family. We wanted to help Katie and Josef learn about who they are." He was pleading his case again, his voice rising with his emotions. "Any of this could've happened in Colorado Springs. Brian ran away a few times when he was younger. That happened right at home. And Katie was taken right out of our own house."

"Sully, I don't feel safe out here. Too much has happened," she said, unable to meet his eyes.

"Bad things happen, Michaela. It don't matter where ya are."

"But, I can protect the children better at home," she replied, firm in her resolve.

"The kids are fine," he answered with irritation. "Joe used what I taught ‘im. He followed the stream, he left tracks, and when he knew he was lost, he stayed put so we could find ‘im."

"He wouldn't have left in the first place if you hadn't made him think he could find his way in the woods," she answered, a sharp edge to her voice.

"So now this is my fault?" He raised his voice.

"I'm not saying that," she replied, her voice rising to match his.

"You just did," he retorted, looking away from her.

Michaela sighed and took several deep breaths. "Sully, I'm not blaming you, but Josef is impressionable and he wants to be just like you. He's going to think he can do things he's not ready for."

"Michaela, Josef made a mistake. Everyone does. And he learned his lesson. Gettin' lost scared him real bad. I don't think he'll do anythin' like that again. But I want him ta learn how to find his way and hunt for his own food. It'll make a man of him."

"Sully, he's not a man. He's a seven year old boy."

"Who wants ta learn ‘bout huntin', trappin an' followin' tracks. And I'm gonna teach ‘im."

Michaela reached out to touch his arm. "I want you to teach him, but perhaps we can wait a few more years."

Sully found no comfort in her touch. "There's no reason ta wait," he said, before growing quiet for a time. He turned his gaze back to her. "Michaela, everythin' turned out all right with Matthew, Colleen and Brian."

"Yes, it did," she said in a soft voice. Then she sighed.

Sully believed he was getting through to her. "Will ya reconsider goin' home?"

"I can't." Her voice cracked and she covered her face with her hands to hide the tears of frustration threatening at the corner of her eyes.

Sully bolted up and stormed several paces away from her. Michaela sighed again, equally annoyed that he was ignoring her feelings. It was clear they weren't going to reach agreement on anything this evening.

Sully slowed his steps and turned around to face her. "There's not just you an' me on this trip. Are you forgettin' Brian and Dorothy? I can't believe you'd ruin this trip for everyone." He waited for a reply, but when none came, he turned around and continued walking, each stride more purposeful than the last.

Michaela watched Sully walk off into the woods, unlikely to return until morning. Instead of lying alone on her bedroll longing for him to be by her side, to not be angry with her, and to understand her fears, she decided to spend the night next to her children. She gathered her bedroll and brought it into the tent, laying it out between each child.

From the shadows, Sully watched Michaela. It was going to be a long sleepless night as he tried to decide what to do. If Michaela was not going to change her mind about going home, Sully would have to decide whether to go on alone or turn back. Neither choice appealed to him. He slowly made his way back over to the fire and remained standing as he stared into the flames. As he worked it over and over in his mind, he knew it all came down to his strong desire to see Cloud Dancing again, combined with his belief that Michaela was being unreasonable. Still, he didn't want to go to the reservation alone. He wanted his family by his side. He wanted his children to get to know the Cheyenne.

Sully knew how scared and upset Michaela had been over Josef's disappearance. By being married to her all these years, he had learned that sometimes her fear caused her to act rashly and say things she didn't mean. After a good night's sleep, Sully hoped Michaela might see things clearer and change her mind. But, he also knew her well enough to know that when she set her mind on something, it wasn't easy to change. Frustrated, he took a seat on the ground, crossed his legs in front of him, and tilted his head up to the stars unsure about what he would do in the morning.

Michaela lay stretched out between her children counting the seams on the roof of the tent and listening to the crackling of the fire. She couldn't sleep. It wasn't easy for her to decide to return home, knowing how important this trip was to Sully. And she regretted the distance it had put between them. She also knew it was unfair of her to have talked both Dorothy and Brian into joining her on this trip, only to force them to turn back. But, she couldn't deny her fears. No matter what she tried to do to quell them, they remained as strong as ever. Why couldn't Sully understand that I didn't make this decision lightly?

They had only been gone five days and already Wolf had been killed by a cougar and Josef had gotten lost. In her mind, she knew both of these events could have happened at home, but out here, away from familiar surroundings, she felt more vulnerable, less able to control the situation. She knew she was letting down her friend and her children. As hard as that was to bear, it was even more difficult to face that she was breaking Sully's heart. For over a year, he looked forward to seeing Cloud Dancing again, excited by the prospect of reuniting with his brother and the opportunity to teach Katie and Josef about the Cheyenne. Was it fair to cheat him out of this? Could she garner the courage to go on…for him?

* * *

In a nearby campsite, the Indian family who had found Josef sat in their tent preparing for bed. A woman rocked a fussy baby while the man looked on helplessly.

"How is he?" Running Wolf asked his wife, as he leaned over to stroke the baby's head.

Night Crane didn't take her eyes off the child. "He is very warm and has difficulty breathing," she replied, cradling the baby close to her chest.

"Do you know the problem?" He asked, unable to hide the anxiety in his voice.

"No. I have never seen this before."

Running Wolf sat beside his wife, taking the baby's hand in his. Instinctively, the infant wrapped his tiny fingers around one of his father's large ones. "In the morning, I will collect more bark for the fever tea. Do you need anything else?"

"Let's hope he is better by morning," she said, resting her head on the baby's warm forehead. "Is Eyes Like the Sky asleep?"

"Yes. He was out before I finished the story of the Medicine Arrows," he chuckled.

She lifted her eyes to her husband. "He was disappointed when the boy left. He hasn't had much opportunity to get to know children his own age."

"It was for the best. He will make friends where we are going."

"I hope you're right. It has never been easy for him to make friends," she replied, shifting the baby to her shoulder to help him breath easier. "Still, the boy, Josef…he seemed like a nice child."

"After he stopped being afraid of us," Running Wolf retorted.

Night Crane gave him a disapproving look. "The little boy was lost. He was separated from his family. Of course he was scared."

Running Wolf waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Do not fool yourself, Night Crane. He was scared of us…because of who we are."

Night Crane rubbed New Promise's back as the baby dozed over her shoulder. "He probably never met Indians before," she told her husband. "And he was fine after a while. He was not a child who has been taught to hate."

"Not yet," Running Wolf replied under his breath.

Night Crane chose to ignore his retort. "Do you know why his family was way out here?"

"The man did not say." Running Wolf rose to his feet, laid out their bedrolls and removed his beads. "We are many days from our destination. Do you think we can travel tomorrow?" He asked with a heavy sigh.

"If New Promise is better, we can be on our way," she replied, kissing the baby's head. She hesitated for a long moment. "I am not sure it is wise to be in such a hurry. We don't know what will happen when we get there," she said, her voice edged with worry.

"It is more dangerous to be out here, away from familiar surroundings. Besides, those who know the truth are gone." Running Wolf reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Remember, we made this decision together. Whatever happens, we will face it together."

She smiled up at her husband. "Thank you for doing this." Just then the baby began coughing, his little body convulsing and turning red from his inability to breathe. Both parents tried consoling him. Night Crane loosened his garments while Running Wolf rubbed his back.

The baby continued to cough. "What is wrong with him?" Running Wolf said, alarm in his tone.

"I don't know," his wife replied, feeling desperate and helpless to ease the baby's discomfort. "That man," she began in a frantic voice. "The boy's father. Didn't he say his wife is a doctor?"

"We do not need anything from them," her husband answered firmly.

"New Promise is growing worse. This lady doctor might be able to help him."

"No. It is not safe."

"Would you rather see your son die than accept help from a white doctor," she challenged, tears threatening at the corners of her eyes.

Her words stung. "You know that is not the case. Who's to say she will even see him?"

"That man offered. He was grateful you found his son. My uncle would say he has a debt on you, Running Wolf. What did you say that man's name was?"

"I don't remember."

"Try to remember," his wife implored.

"I did not pay attention. I only wanted to take him to his son and for them to leave."

Night Crane's memory drifted back in time. "When I was a young girl, a white doctor used to come to my village. This doctor was very kind to my people."

"No, it's too dangerous."

"They don't know us. What harm can come from seeking her help. We don't know what is wrong, Running Wolf! Don't let your fear and stubbornness harm our son."

Running Wolf weighed her words as a torrent of emotions raged within him. The times he had trusted the white man had always led to betrayal. He carried scars from which he was certain he would never fully recover. Yet, his wife was worried about their son and she was not one to panic without cause. If anything happened to New Promise that could have been prevented, he would never forgive himself. Running Wolf swallowed hard and stared into the worried eyes of his wife. "You want to go to this…this doctor?"

"Yes."

Running Wolf's eyes made a nervous pass across her face and then turned down, his head in a storm of confusion. After weighing his options for several moments, he raised his eyes to his wife and sighed heavily. "If New Promise is not better by morning, we will go."

Go to Chapter Nine...

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Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten

Sully hadn't closed his eyes all night as he pondered whether to return home with Michaela or continue on to the reservation alone. As the sun began to light the night sky, he finally reached a decision, but it was one that weighed heavy on his heart. With his back stiff from sitting too long in an upright position, Sully rose to his feet and started to break camp.

Exhaustion, brought on by lack of sleep, and made worse by his argument with Michaela, permeated his entire body, causing his mind and limbs to move in slow motion. While loading the supplies into the wagon, he noticed his wife emerge from the tent with the children. For a brief moment, their eyes met. They both quickly looked away and continued with their chores, each one wishing they knew what the other was thinking, but too stubborn to bridge the gap that had come between them.

Michaela settled the children by the fire and started breakfast. The way Sully avoided coming near any of them brought a tension to the day that she had hoped might have dissipated by morning. She glanced over at her husband and noticed the absent-minded way he loaded the wagon. When the water for coffee had boiled, she prepared a cup and, ever so slowly, began to approach him from behind. From less than a foot away, she reached out to touch his shoulder, but hesitated, leaving the gesture unfinished. Sully sensed the nearness of her fingers before they settled lightly on his arm. Just as he turned to face her, Michaela handed him the cup of coffee.

"Thank you," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sully." When he didn't respond, she continued. "I'm sorry we quarreled, especially in front of Josef. I was wrong to announce we weren't continuing without discussing it with you when we were alone." When Sully finally met her eyes, she was startled by the disappointment etched across his face.

He drew in a shaky breath before speaking. "I don't…I don't want ta go home, Michaela." He paused to measure his words, the next ones being the most difficult. "But, if it's what ya gotta do ta feel safe…then we'll go."

Michaela looked away in guilt, knowing what agreeing to return home was costing him. Last night her mind had been made up about going home. But as she lay awake all night weighing her needs against the needs of everyone else on the trip – Sully, the children, and Dorothy – she was more confused than ever about what to do. She remained quiet for several long moments searching for a response from deep within her.

"Michaela?" Sully couldn't read her expression.

She met his gaze again. "Sully, I…" Her thoughts were interrupted by a commotion from behind.

"Papa, look," Katie called, pointing in the direction of the woods.

Michaela and Sully turned toward the trees and saw an Indian hurrying into their camp with a baby clutched to his chest. A woman and a young boy trailed close behind. The Indian looked right at Michaela.

"Can you help our baby? He became much worse during the night."

Sully stared at the family, recognizing the Indian who had found Josef. Without hesitation, he retrieved Michaela's medical bag as she led the worried parents and their crying baby inside the tent.

"That's them," Josef whispered to his sister, while they ate their breakfast. "That's the Indian who found me."

An older boy stood outside the tent right where his parents had told him to wait. He was nervous in the white camp, but curious about the two children seated by the fire. He recognized the boy as the one his father had found in the woods. In his own camp, with the little boy so scared, he found the courage to talk to him. Here in the white camp, he was afraid.

Sully reminded Katie and Josef to stay outside with Dorothy and Brian. Approaching the entrance to the tent, he stopped to speak with the Indian child before going inside. "Why don't ya go sit with the other kids? Your folks could be in there a while."

The boy fell mute and slowly lowered himself to the ground to wait for his family. Deciding not to push him, Sully entered the tent with a basin of water. He set it on the ground, and he then handed Michaela her medical bag.

"How long has he been like this?" Michaela asked. She removed the blanket from around the infant and loosened his garments.

Night Crane studied her intently as Running Wolf stood rigid in the corner of the tent, arms crossed at his chest. "He started feeling ill the day before yesterday, but he became so hot during the night. It is difficult for him to breathe. Please help my baby," the worried mother pleaded.

Michaela removed her stethoscope from her bag and held it to the baby's chest. "I promise to do everything in my power to help him. I'm Doctor Quinn." She introduced herself then quieted to listen to the congestion in the baby's lungs. First, we need to lower his temperature. What is his name?"

"New Promise," Night Crane replied, sensing a strange familiarity that she couldn't place, but quickly dismissed. "He is six months old." Just then the baby let out a piercing scream. "What is the matter with him?"

Michaela held the baby in a sitting position and lightly tapped on his back to loosen any accumulating phlegm. She gently placed the infant on his back and removed a jar of ointment from her bag. "I can't be certain, but I believe he has a serious catarrh. I'm going to rub some of this menthol balm on his chest to help him breathe more easily," she explained to the parents. After applying the salve to the baby's chest, she wiped her hands on a dishcloth. Michaela carried the baby to the basin, and placed a dampened cloth on his forehead. She slowly poured water over him to cool his body.

"What are you doing to him," Running Wolf barked. He felt helpless and ill at ease as he watched the white doctor, a woman no less, tend to his child.

"His temperature is very high. Cooling his body with water is the fastest way I know to lower it," Michaela explained. "Sully, would you brew some willow bark tea, please?"

"Sure," he said. Crossing to the other side of the small tent, he took a small amount of bark from her bag and exited.

"You use our medicine?" Running Wolf asked. He tried hard not to let his astonishment show.

"I use the most effective treatment I can find. In this case, I've found willow bark to be gentler on infants than quinine."

"How did you learn about the tea?" Running Wolf continued to stand with his arms crossed at his chest.

"I was taught by a Cheyenne medicine man. He's a dear family friend," Michaela replied. She remembered just how dear a friend he was and how much she had been looking forward to seeing him before the terrible events of the past few days.

Night Crane studied the doctor carefully as if trying to unravel a mystery. "Where is your home?"

"Colorado Springs. It's about four days from here," Michaela said, as she continued to pour water over the baby.

The young woman continued to stare at the doctor. "I am called Night Crane and this is my husband Running Wolf."

"I'm pleased to meet both of you." Michaela said, nodding first to Night Crane then toward Running Wolf. Sully returned with a cup of willow bark tea and handed it to Night Crane's outstretched hand. "Back home, they call me Dr. Mike and you've already met my husband, Sully." Michaela lifted the baby's head, while his mother held the cup and used a spoon to administer the warm liquid. "What are you doing all the way out here?" Michaela asked the woman, after the baby had swallowed a few spoonfuls of the tea.

"We are traveling to the Cheyenne reservation in the Oklahoma territory," Night Crane announced, fully aware that this revelation would displease her husband.
Running Wolf shot her a steely glare while Michaela and Sully shared a look of surprise.

Michaela applied her stethoscope to the baby's chest again. "The balm I applied seems to be easing his breathing." She glanced at Sully warily, regretting they hadn't finished their conversation from this morning. This wasn't the way she intended to tell him. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to Night Crane. "I would feel better…that is…I think it would be best if I kept an eye on him for the next few days."

"You have done enough," Running Wolf said, moving to his baby's side. He stroked his head, smoothing his damp, raven hair. "Tell us what to do and we'll do it."

"Illnesses such as this in infants are quite unpredictable." She closed her eyes, took another deep breath, and opened them again. "My family is also headed in that direction." As the words left her mouth, she quickly glanced at Sully then just as quickly averted her eyes. "As his doctor, I would feel more comfortable if we traveled together so I could keep an eye on New Promise for the next day or two."

"So would I," Night Crane agreed, sharing a conspiratorial glance with Michaela.

Sully stared hard at Michaela in disbelief, uncertain if he heard her correctly. Even if he had heard her right, the meaning in her words was less than clear. He wasn't sure if Michaela had changed her mind about going home altogether, or if she was only postponing their return so she could monitor the baby for the next few days.

Running Wolf knew he was outnumbered. He stared at the three adults for a few moments. "We will travel with you until New Promise is well." He abruptly exited the tent, uneasy about this unexpected turn of events.

Night Crane watched him leave, knowing it went against his nature to place his trust in strangers, especially white strangers. She turned to Michaela and Sully as she lifted her baby into her arms, giving his head a gentle kiss. "Please forgive my husband. He is used to taking care of us. It makes him uncomfortable to rely on anyone else. I speak for both of us when I say we are grateful for your help."

"I understand," Michaela replied.

"Can the baby travel today?" Sully asked his wife.

"Yes, but we should stop often."

"I'll finish loadin' the wagon an' see if Runnin' Wolf needs any help with his supplies," Sully said, nodding farewell to both women before exiting the tent.

"Nahko'e," Eyes Like the Sky called, as he bounded into the tent nearly colliding with Sully. Michaela recognized it as the Cheyenne word for mother.

His mother held up her finger to silence him. "Remember your manners," his mother gently chastised in Cheyenne, turning toward Michaela. "This is my elder son, Eyes Like the Sky."

"I'm pleased to meet you," Michaela greeted. She was struck by the blueness of the young boy's eyes. She turned back to Night Crane. "You may rest in the tent until we're ready to leave. I'll be right outside if you need me."

"Thank you," Night Crane replied, and then turned her attention back to the infant now asleep in her arms.

Michaela found Sully loading the last of the bedrolls into the wagon. She approached him slowly with her hands clasped in front of her.

Sully sensed her near and turned to face her, his eyes remote. "How far we goin' Michaela?" His voice was tight with frustration.

Michaela was startled by his sharp tone and rigid body language. "What do you mean?"

He stared hard at her. "Are we gonna travel ‘til their baby's well and then turn around?" Sully asked, more as an accusation than a question. He turned his back to her, fastening the cover on the wagon, pulling hard on the straps on each side. When the cover was secure, he took several steps toward the horses.

Color flooded her cheeks. Michaela took two steps forward grasping his hand to keep him from leaving. "Sully, I was frightened and exhausted last night. I wasn't thinking clearly." Sully felt the tension in his body ease a little as he turned back around to face her. She continued, "I was awake all night long thinking about what you said, about what we wanted out of this trip for ourselves and for our children. You were right about something. What happened out here could just as easily have happened at home. To be honest, I'm still afraid of what else might happen, but I want us to continue…for you…and the children. I was about to tell you all this when the Indians arrived with their baby." Sully stepped closer to her and reached for her other hand, gently caressing the back of it with his thumb. "When Night Crane said her family was headed in the same direction, it was as if I was given the final sign I needed to trust my decision." She gazed into the deep blue ocean of his eyes. "I want us all to visit with Cloud Dancing again. I want the children to learn about the Cheyenne. I want that more than anything for us, Sully."

Sully drew her to him in a tight embrace that conveyed what her words had meant to him. "You sure ‘bout this?"

"Yes."

"Thank you." He kissed her temple while caressing her head. "Everythin's gonna be all right. You'll see." He sealed his gratitude with a soft kiss on her lips. She deepened the kiss then nuzzled into the warmth of his chest.

* * * * *

For the better part of a day, the two families traveled in the same direction, along the same roads, but remained separate. Even though they stopped to rest at the same time, ate at the same time, and tended to their horses at the same time, it appeared to be by coincidence instead of a deliberate decision. The families hardly spoke to each other, except to exchange idle comments about the changing landscape or to discuss which road to take. Their interactions were guarded and distant, just short of tense.

As the baby's doctor, Michaela had the most interaction with the Indian family. At her insistence, they stopped every few hours so she could examine him. In these encounters, she found Running Wolf and his wife to be devoted to each other and their family, but intensely private. Night Crane seldom spoke, except to her husband and her children, but Michaela noticed that she observed everything quite closely. While tending to the baby, Michaela thought about how much she missed her interactions with the Cheyenne, who had become such an important part of her life when she first arrived in Colorado. Being with Night Crane made her think of Snow Bird, and she became curious about the young woman's stories of survival and her hopes and dreams for the future. She longed to know why they traveled to the reservation now and of the significance of the baby's name, New Promise. Michaela was certain there was deep meaning in that name. But for now, she would set aside her curiosity to focus on her tiny patient. Ensuring his welfare was her top priority. At their last stop, she was relieved to find that New Promise's temperature was normal and his breathing regular. Despite the progress he had made, he still had a persistent cough and congestion in his lungs that needed to be monitored for signs of pneumonia.

It was a warm day. The sky was a cloudless blue with a light breeze that rustled the leaves. As they reached the midway point between Colorado Springs and Oklahoma, the landscape transformed from mountains and forests into the low, flat plains. After passing through short rolling hills, the road flattened to reveal open prairie grasslands that stretched for miles in a golden hue, their tall stalks bending in the breeze. It was a vast expanse of nothingness, no mountains, no trees, no streams, only grass and more grass as far as the eye could see. To the travelers used to the mountains of Montana and Colorado, the horizon seemed empty and featureless.

At the last stop for the day, Sully and Running Wolf discussed the best way to travel to the reservation. Now that the families were traveling together, at least for a few days, it was no longer a matter of finding the most direct route. It was also a priority to travel in a manner that wouldn't attract the attention of the Army or the nearby cattle ranchers. Running Wolf's knowledge of the area around Oklahoma, particularly the location of the Army forts, was unexpected. For reasons he couldn't explain, it put Sully on guard. From the little he had ascertained about his background, he assumed that the Indian had spent most of his life in the north. Given his familiarity with the terrain, Sully wondered if he hadn't once lived in this part of the country as well. If he did, Running Wolf wasn't ready to offer that information yet.

Both Sully and Running Wolf agreed that it would take about four days to arrive at the reservation on their chosen route. They also agreed on the best place to stop for a day to break up the travel. The horses needed to rest and the children could use some time to play and enjoy the land. Running Wolf remained remote toward Sully, but he respected his knowledge of the terrain. Sully sensed impatience, along with apprehension, in the Indian. At times, he thought he seemed eager to get to the reservation and at other times worried. From what he knew of the conditions at the Indian Agency, Sully couldn't blame him for any ambivalence he had about making it their home.

The children were curious about one another as well, often eyeing each other from across the wagon. Taking their cues from the adults, they kept their distance, but continued to steal glances. Katie was interested in meeting the Indian boy with the blue eyes. Josef, still distracted by the burden he was carrying, didn't pay the other children much attention. Ever since his conversation with his father about the tracks, Josef had been sticking close to his sister. It was as if he saw Katie as his protection from his father's probing questions. He played games with her and he sat beside her drawing pictures when she wanted to read quietly. He was afraid if he were alone, for even a few minutes, his father would start asking questions again.

It had been a full day since his father mentioned the tracks. Josef wondered whether he had forgotten about them now that the Indian family was traveling with them. Knowing his father, that wasn't likely. He also wondered if his father had told his mother and if she was disappointed in him. Josef thought about going to his father and telling the truth, since he didn't think it was possible to feel any worse than he already did. However, the mere idea of confessing to being responsible for Wolf's death frightened him too much. Instead, he remained trapped in a prison of his emotions.

Brian was curious about Running Wolf and Night Crane. Once when they stopped to eat, he tried to engage them in conversation. He asked them where they were from, why they were going to the reservation, and if they had lived on another reservation. The Indian couple was polite, but avoided answering any of his questions. Brian knew they weren't prepared to share their story with him just yet. They had no reason to trust him.

Dorothy was filled with questions about the Indian family, too. While researching the Cheyenne, Cloud Dancing had taught her a great deal about the characteristics that distinguished them from other tribes. Night Crane was a beautiful woman. She had clearly defined features of the Cheyenne and looked to be about thirty years old, several years younger than her husband. To Dorothy, Running Wolf didn't look to be Cheyenne, nor did his dress match the descriptions in her head. She wondered if he was from the northern part of the tribe. She also wondered if they knew Cloud Dancing and if they could tell her if he was all right. Her greatest fear was arriving at the reservation and learning that he was ill or hurt.

When the families stopped for the evening, they arranged their tents on opposite ends of the campsite and made two fires. Michaela checked on the baby for the last time that day. She approached her husband with the suggestion that they ask the Indian family to join them for supper. After the lack of otherwise necessary interaction between the families during the day's ride, it was evident to Sully that they were not interested in exchanging even general friendly formalities. The two families remained as they were, into the night, separate within each other's company.

* * * * *

After breakfast the next day, Eyes Like the Sky sat alone by the edge of camp with his legs crossed in front of him watching the two white children chase each other around the wagon. Judging by the gales of laughter coming from their direction, the game looked like fun. The shy child longed to join in, but he hung back, choosing instead to play his familiar role as observer. It seemed he had spent much of his life on the outside looking in, always alone.

During the time they lived in the Army camp and on the reservation, he hadn't made any friends. Other children didn't seem to like him. He had no reason to believe that these children would be any different than the Indian children with whom he had grown up or the white children at the Army camp. Having a Cheyenne mother and a white father made him an outcast in both worlds. Eyes Like the Sky wondered if he would ever find a place where he would fit in.

As she circled the wagon, Katie noticed the Indian boy watching their game. From the look in his eyes, she thought he might like to join them. He seemed lonely and eager for friends. Katie stopped running and stared at the boy for an instant. When Josef caught up to her, she whispered into his ear, took his hand, and together they walked toward the boy.

"Hi! I'm Katie Sully," she said, standing in front of him. "You already met my brother, Josef."

Josef nodded. "Hi."

Eyes Like the Sky glanced up at the two children. He remembered being introduced to them when their families first started traveling together, but he couldn't recall their names until Katie mentioned them again. What he did recall was the color of Katie's hair. He had never seen hair so light before and thought it looked like a bright burst of sunshine. "I'm called Eyes Like the Sky," he replied hesitantly. Having grown up expecting rejection, he kept himself on guard.

"That's a funny name," Josef blurted, shyly standing beside his sister.

"Joey!" Katie chastised. "I think your name is nice. You do have eyes like pieces of the sky."

The boy smiled at her in appreciation. "What does Katie mean?"

"I don't know," she replied, having never thought about the question before.

"Why are you called Katie?" He rephrased the question.

"Katherine was my pa's mother's name."

"I'm named after my grandpa," Josef supplied proudly. "He's in heaven."

"Where's heaven?"

"It's where people go when they die," Josef explained, surprised at how little the older boy knew.

Eyes Like the Sky had never heard of heaven before and Josef's explanation left him even more confused. "When my people pass to the spirit world, they follow the hanging road to the camp in the stars."

"Oh," Katie replied, a puzzled expression on her face. "In heaven you get to see all the other people who died. When my grandma died, she got to go back to be with grandpa."

The camp in the stars and heaven sounded alike to the young child. Eyes Like the Sky wondered if they didn't have two names for the same place. He wanted to know more about these white children. "Did you have any other names?" the Indian boy asked.

Katie sat down in the grass. "My middle name is Elizabeth, after my ma's mother."

Eyes Like the Sky took a seat across from her. "Middle name?"

"Yes, my full name is Katherine Elizabeth Sully, but everyone calls me Katie."

Eyes Like the Sky didn't understand the concept of a middle name. He only knew he didn't have one. "That's not what I mean. What I mean is, were you called anything before Katie?"

"No. Why would I have another name?"

"Cheyenne children are given one name at birth, then at six or seven we receive our real name. Later in life, if we do a great deed, we may take another name," the boy explained.

"What do you gotta do to get a new name?" Josef asked, as he quietly sat next to his sister.

"You might be given a new name for an act of bravery or for doing an important deed for the tribe," he explained. "There was a man in our village who was a successful hunter. He always brought back enough meat to feed our people. The elders named him Never Go Hungry."

Josef thought that he'd like to do something worthy of a new name. As of now he could only think of one name he deserved - Wolf Killer.

Katie rested her chin on her hand and considered what Eyes Like the Sky had told them. "We have one name for our whole life."

"Oh." He thought it odd.

"Did you have another name?" Josef asked, interested.

"I was called Blue Bird when I was born. My mother named me Eyes Like the Sky when I was seven. I hope, when I become a man, I will bring honor to my people and then I will be given a new name…a name that doesn't tell people I'm different." His eyes drifted toward his father who was talking with Katie and Josef's father. "Are you part Cheyenne?"

"No," Katie replied. "What made you think that?"

"Your father wears the beads and medicine pouch of my people," he explained, still staring at Sully.

"Papa lived with the Cheyenne a long time ago," she replied. "It was before he met Mama and had us."

"Cloud Dancing found him when he was lost," Josef chimed in. "He's our Cheyenne father. That's what our papa says."

"Your Cheyenne father?" the Indian boy asked, with keen interest.

"Papa says that Cloud Dancing is like a brother to him and the Cheyenne believe that the brother is also the father of the children," Katie explained, repeating what she had been taught.

"That is true," Eyes Like the Sky replied. The children lingered in silence for a long while, having run out of topics of conversation.

"You wanna play with us?" Katie asked.

"What do you want to play?"

"How ‘bout hide-n-seek?" she suggested.

"What's that?" Eyes Like the Sky asked.

"You don't know how to play hide-n-seek?" Josef questioned in disbelief. "Everyone knows how to play that."

The little boy shook his head, embarrassed. "Let's play the coyote game instead."

"We don't know how to play that," Josef replied.

Eyes Like the Sky thought of another game they could play. "Do you know how to track animals?"

Josef looked away. "Not really," he answered in a small voice.

"Joey, that's not true. We know a lot about tracking. Papa's been teaching us," Katie replied, confused by her brother's behavior.

"Let's see if we can find something to track. There's probably rabbit or deer tracks around here. If we're really lucky, maybe we'll find bobcat tracks or a bear," Eyes Like the Sky suggested, rising to his feet.

Katie stood up, looking a little apprehensive. "Okay, but…we can't go too far into the woods."

"We won't. We'll just go a little ways to see if we can find a track. We won't actually track the animal. Whoever finds the first track wins."

Josef's heart was beating with fright. "I don't wanna play that."

"Why not? You love tracking with Papa," Katie told him.

"I just don't want to," he snapped.

"C'mon Joey, it'll be fun," Katie persisted.

Josef jumped to his feet. "No! I won't play that." Noticing how Katie and Eyes Like the Sky recoiled at his outburst, he collected himself and steadied his quivering voice. "Let's teach Eyes Like the Sky hide-n-seek instead."

Katie put her hands on her hips. "I don't understand why you've been acting so strange. We're gonna play the tracking game and you can go play by yourself." Katie turned to go, but she stopped when she noticed that Eyes Like the Sky remained with Josef.

Eyes Like the Sky sensed something was bothering Josef. Even more than that, he didn't want to be responsible for causing a rift between the siblings. "I'd like to learn hide-n-seek," he said to Katie in a small voice. He then faced Josef. "How do you play?"

Josef's face beamed. He liked the new boy already. "It's easy. Two of us hide and the other person has to find them," Josef explained.

"That's all?"

"Yeah. That's all. Katie you can be the first one to find us," Josef offered. It was a small peace offering to bring his sister into the game.

Katie threw up her hands in a sign of surrender. "All right, I'll count to ten. You and Eyes Like the Sky go hide, and I'll look for you." She closed her eyes and began to count, while the boys dashed off to find their hiding places.

Go to Chapter Ten...

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